“Where’s your Messiah now, Flanders?”

It’s lovely day in Toronto today. As I type this, I’m looking out the south wall of my bedroom/office/looooove palace (as I’m fond of mentioning, the south wall of my room is entirely glass and has a door that opens to the Casa Di AccordionGuy back deck) and seeing a cloudless sky. I’ve propped open the door to let some fresh air in. Even though I’m two blocks away from a major intersection — Queen and Spadina — the buildings due south and west of the house absorb most of the traffic sound. The loudest things you can hear are a plane in the distance and the birds roosting in the tree. It is, as Bill Withers put it, a lovely day [that’s a .WAV file]. There’s nothing I like better on days like today than to…

…have my beliefs in God challenged! C’mon, belief! You want some, you punkass bee-yotch?

In Batteground God, you’re asked 17 true-or-false questions in the game. Every time an answer contradicts a previous answer, you take a hit. Your mission is to get through the game alive (that is, taking fewer hits than needed to kill you). Every now and again, you may also have to “bite the bullet”; this happens when your answer is consistent with your previous answers but has some “strange or unpalatable” implications. You also want to bite the bullet as little as possible. Think of it as a philosophical version of “Hangman”.

I came out alive, taking two hits and biting two bullets, earning me their third-highest award, the TPM Service Medal:

You have been awarded the TPM service medal! This is our third highest award for outstanding service on the intellectual battleground.

The fact that you have progressed through this activity without suffering many hits suggests that whilst there are inconsistencies in your beliefs about God, on the whole they are well thought-out.

For those of you who are insatiably curious (or who wonder what kind of belief system a guy who carries an accordion everywhere because stange and wonderful things happen would have), the analysis of my answers is here.

Have a lovely Saturday, folks.

Joey deVilla

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