Oy! / Aiyahh! New mags to read!
Jews and Asians have some similarities:
- We were the kids cleaning up in math and science class
- We have a strong showing in the computer world
- Strong family ties
- Our mothers tend to be overbearing
- Some tendencies towrds clannishness
- Strong pressure from the parentals to get a university degree
- Thick black hair requiring the strongest gel
- Cosmetic surgery (Jews: nose jobs, Asians: eye jobs)
- A love of Chinese food
- Hiring Filipino domestic help
- Run-ins with the original Axis of evil (Jews: Hitler, Asians: Hirohito, who got off too easy)
- Signature cars (Jews: VW rabbit/Jeep YJ, Asians: Honda CR-V, Honda Civic)
- And dammit, we own New York, baby!
But there are two glaring differences: We Asians eat pork, and we’ve got a too-cool-for-school don’t-you-wish-you-were-us magazine: Giant Robot.
My pal Cory Doctorow compensates by eating pork (and in the most incorrect way possible — he orders his veggie burgers with bacon and cheese) and reading Giant Robot.
He — like anyone, Asian or not — is still welcome to read Giant Robot, but now there’s Heeb, the urban Jewish hipster mag. I’ve seen it on the shelves in Toronto, but can’t remember where. Congratulations to all my Jewish hipster homies on getting some reading material. Cory, when are you gonna start submitting stuff to them?
As for Canadian Asians, there’s also something new on the magazine racks for us — Banana. In the interest of fairness, I’ll post some cheesecake from the magazine’s site:
To my Jewish homies, I propose a cultural exchange. I’ll trade you guys Mu Shu Pork for Nigella Lawson. Sound fair?
Special shout out to my Hebrew homeboy Cory D. for pointing out Heeb.