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Ass Pirates of Silicon Valley

It had to happen: someone’s written Bill Gates/Steve Jobs slash fiction.

(Don’t know what slash fiction is? Here’s a good definition, plus some background.)

In the real world, Jobs needs Bill’s software put in his hardware. In these stories, Bill needs Steve’s hardware put into his software. If you know what I mean. Huh-huh-huh.

Was it good for you, Steve? Here’s Bill Gates, resting after a hot ‘n’ sweaty encounter with Steve Jobs. Note the used condoms carelessly strewn across the floor (they’ve been airbrushed to look like lightbulbs, of course…)

Here’s an excerpt:

“(Jobs) nuzzles my neck, bites my earlobe,” Slade writes. “I watch him go to his desk and rummage in one of the top drawers. When he comes back, he’s holding a bottle of hand lotion…. He hooks his hand on the waistband of my chinos and briefs, sliding them both down at once…. He runs his hand up my back and leans down to whisper, ‘Bill, are you a virgin?'”

“Yes.” Sort of.

“I’ll be gentle.”

I’m your Hotmail, Bill. Don’t just grab my Yahoo, Excite me, then Sprint. Aren’t puns/double entendres about high-tech companies fun?

If you can bear with the mental image of Bill Gates on all fours, grunting with pleasure like a hog at the trough whilst getting jazzed up the gunga, go ahead and read away. Don’t blame me for any nightmares you might have as a result.

(My finding out about this is all Martin “Coderman” Peck’s fault.)

Joey deVilla