Being Boring, Part 1

Before I begin, let me set the mental soundtrack. Think of Being Boring by the Pet Shop Boys, the opening track from their very excellent 1990 album, Behaviour. It’s lush, loungy, and I really love this song, both musically and thematically. I also think it’s appropriate for this story.

(If the song doesn’t ring a bell, you can find a fair-use-friendly 59-second sample of Being Boring on this page.)

Here’s the last verse and chorus:

Now I sit with different faces

In rented rooms and foreign places

All the people I was kissing

Some are here and some are missing

In the nineteen-nineties

I never dreamt that I would get to be

The creature that I always meant to be

But I thought in spite of dreams

You’d be sitting somewhere here with me

‘Cause we were never being boring

We had too much time to find for ourselves

And we were never being boring

We dressed up and fought, then thought: “Make amends”

And we were never holding back or worried that

Time would come to an end

We were always hoping that, looking back

You could always rely on a friend

Got that tune running in your head? Good. Let’s begin.

Monday, July 1st

The scene: Tequila Bookworm (here’s a photo), a cafe-meets-magazine store-meets-used book reading room with cute staff. There’s a bar and tables in the front and ratty but comfy couches in the back. It’s been a neighbourhood hangout for years; many of my stories start here.

I was sitting with a table full of women eating ice cream and brownies. My friend Z was there; she’d given me a ring and asked her to join them. I arrived just in time to catch the part of the conversation where she was talking about some guy she’d been set up with:

Z: I went out for drinks with Q today.

Me: How’d that go?

Z: He’s nice. He’s got lots to talk about, he’s well read, he’s well travelled, and another good thing about him is that he’s a little boring. I’ve grown to like that.

Me: Boring?

Z: Yeah?

Me: Boring is good?

Y: Maybe a little is okay. It means they’re stable.

X: I can see that.

Me (still trying to grasp the concept): But boring is good?

W (to me): Let me guess: you’ve already bought your Burning Man tickets and now want a refund?

Y: Are we going to see a new Joey next week? Wearing a cardigan, driving a mini-van, maybe with his natural hair colour?

Me (in a Mr. Rogers voice): “The missionary position. Not just a good idea; it’s the law!”

W: Ha!

X: Now that’s boring.

Z: You’re far from boring.

Me: Uh, thanks, but isn’t that a bad thing now?

To be continued…