Month: July 2002

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The weekend, part two

I’m a little low on creative writing juice and didn’t want to post these photos without the back story, but a couple of friends who were there really wanted to see ’em. I’ll update this posting a little later on this weekend. I’m sure you folks out there can ratiocinate what happened…

Some minor updates made on Saturday, July 20th

Club 606

Colin drops some beat science over the DJ’s sounds. He’s the youngest of a muscial trio of brothers made up of him, Devin (with drums with Lindi) and Sean (with whom I sometimes jam on Queen Street).

“I love the accordion!” my new bestest friend in the word Tanya exclaimed. This photo explains why I love it too.

See, Paul? I told you this place was jumpin’! We’re glad to be there.

Someone whose name I’ve forgotten and Tanya. Just in case you thought that stuff like this happened only in movies like Coyote Ugly, along comes a counterexample. (I think I’ve referred to Coyote Ugly a gazillion times in this blog, despite never having seen the movie.)

Tanya and her friend again. Life in the Accordiverse is sometimes challenging, but it does have its perks.

“C’mon, you want some, don’t you?” Someone had to be convinced to let a beautiful woman pour free booze down their gullet?

Tanya and friend again. “Look this way or you wont be in the shot!”

Shakin’ their money makers. Unlike Coyote Ugly, the music was actually good — not dance pop cheese, but good house and breakbeat.

A-WOO-gah! Paul signals his approval of 606.

The bar at the back, near the dance floor. More women pouring “Broken Down Golf Cart” shooters down people’s throats.

Who wants some killer Kool-Aid? I do! I do!

Glug, glug, glug.

Jammin’! Colin and I lead the crowd in getting their funk on.

Public Service Announcement:
The value of good haberdashery

The next time I go down…

…to Las Vegas…

…I’m going back to the Hard Rock Hotel…

…straight to their gift shop…

…and I’m going to buy ten of these hats.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming…

Pole dancin’. Tanya and her friend take to the riser by the DJ booth.

Say “ahhh…” Poured into your mouth by gorgeous bartenders and free, to boot! The only way it could’ve been better would be if they had some kind of accordion fetish or were handing out free TiBook laptops.

The Drunken Master rides again! Paul “Cheap Drunk” Baranowski will never turn down free shots.

Got anything for a thirsty accordion player? Thanks to the accordion, occasionally life turns into Maxim magazine.

See? I could’ve been a really good stripper. Check out my pole- dancing technique.

“She’s hawwwwt.” There were many reasons to use Paul’s catchphrase this evening.

Score! Paul and I do our “Butabi Brothers” impression.

Slut School

The new look Will. Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta. Especially when you’re really an interior decoratah.

Rowr! Eva “Purple” Hayes (whose mom coined the phrase “Slut School”) claims the couch.div>

The Slut School gang and me. From left to right: Anastasia, Dorain, Yours Truly and Rick, a.k.a. “Rickshaw”.

Shake it! It took until after the after-hours action began for the dance floor to fill, but the scene was good once that happened. From left to right: Rick, Anastasia, Will.

Lisa! Enjoying the groove.

Me and Lisa. It’s good to be the king.
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You know, for a military advisor, he’s a helluva good sex columnist

One of the interesting things about the Current Situation is that the binary left-wing/right-wing sorting bins just don’t quite work anymore. Savage Love’s Dan Savage is a hawk!

He even has a good battle cry: “A Marshall Plan for Afghanistan!”

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The weekend, part one

Friday night began with Paul and me catching up with Cory (on vacation back in his home town of Accordion City) at Tequila Bookworm, the Queen Street cafe/magazine store/reading room where many good stories begin.

As he recently announced in BoingBoing, Cory Doctorow has been taking a little breather away from San Francisco and has returned to his home town of Accordion City. I got a phone call from him early Friday evening, asking Paul and me to join him at Tequila Bookworm. Like me, he’s fond of the place as it serves great coffee, is a book-and-magazine lover’s paradise, has a certain bohemian comfiness to it and there’s also the matter of very cute staff.

Photo: Cory Doctorow at the Tequila Bookworm cafe on Queen Street West.

The original happiest geek on earth. Cory chills at Tequila Bookworm.

We three geeks from OpenCola are… Tequila Bookworm has seen this much nerdpower on one couch since…ever!

As you may have also read in BoingBoing (and in the lively discussion that ensued), a man-mountain of a drug dealer who plies his trade half a block away from his apartment stole his beloved MiG fighter goggles (one can only imagine what he looks like when he’s wearing the goggles). He’s since replaced them with a new pair he acquired online and proudly showed them off to us. He told us to try them on, and here are the results:

I think a fly got into the teleport chamber with me! Paul tries on Cory’s MiG fighter pilot goggle sunglasses.

Do they go with the shirt? My turn trying on Cory’s goggles.
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I’m looking at my backlog of postings…

…and I see I still have a lot of stuff to post. There won’t be any shortage of material on this blog!

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It Happened to Me

One of Our Muscle Men is Missing

My personal trainer found a sponsor for his entry into a bodybuilding competition and hasn’t been seen since. No one — not even his co-workers at the gym — know where he is. Emil (one of the trainers) and I discussed this.

Emil: Hey there. Say, you lost some weight?

Me: I did?

Emil: Since I last saw you. You look thinner, especially about the face.

Me: Well, you’re the second person to notice my getting into shape. You’re not as cute, but thank you.

Emil: Heh. The workouts going well for you?

Me: Yeah, and the meal plan that Mike set up for me helped, too.

Emil: Ah, Mike. We [points to a co-worker] were just talking about him. Nobody knows where he is.

Me: He didn’t even tell the managers he was leaving?

Emil: No, he just…disappeared [makes a gesture with both hands, as if disappearing in a puff of smoke].

Me: Weird.

Emil: And it’s hard to imagine him disappearing. You can’t easily hide that much muscle. When he was training for the competition, he got really huge.

Me: Drinking all that WheyDelicious pays off.

Emil: “Delicious chocolate flavour!”

Me: Every now and again I throw in a scoop of ice cream. It’s not bad.

Emil: It’s pricey. But Mike said he could get it for me cheaper than retail.

Me: You know, he said the same thing to me too. And in a under-the-table kind of way — as if he were a guy dealing pot. He said he could get me Nitro-Tech bars and WheyDelicious at a serious discount.

Emil: Yeah, he always got quiet whenever he talked about the deals on supplements.

Me: You’d think there was a protein mob.

Emil: A creatine mafia.

Me: A cartel that controls all the whey, soy and red meat in the world. Big Protein.

Emil: Maybe he double-crossed ’em.

Me: Mess the with protein mob, pay the price.

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Make My Day

“Hey, I just wanted to say,” the cute girl said, “I was watching you in the Body Attack class in the gym last week. You were looking good.”

I haven’t quite stopped grinning yet. Thanks!

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Operation RATS

A spoof of Operation TIPS and a Babylon 5 parallel.

It’s hard to be a satirist these days when reality keeps beating you to the punch. Still, onepotmeal has come up with a good spoof of the Operation TIPS (the new US spy-on-your-fellow-citizens brigade) called Operation RATS.

Someone on BurningBird’s comments area said that TIPS sounds a helluva lot like the Night Watch in Babylon 5. I suppose there are some parallels between the Current Situation and B5: a president who seized power illegitimately, a rise in xenophobia, and now a clearly-marked brigade of citizens watching other citizens. Like the universe of B5, there are bad aliens out there, but the government isn’t exactly full of good souls either.

My only questions are: Where’s our Captain Sheridan, and will some technomage finally come out and tell me what the fourteen words that will make anyone fall in love with you forever and the seven words to make them go without pain are? Sometimes charm, boyish good looks, wit, scintillating conversation, bizarro luck and an accordion just aren’t enough.