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Subconscious to conscious…come in, conscious…

Yesterday’s interview with the headhunter — er, recruiting firm — went well.

I generally present well at this sort of thing, and having a well-fitting suit and looking comfortable in it always helps. I don’t think I’ve ever worn a suit to a job interview since my University days — I used to work at places where showing up for the interview in a suit would probably work against you. However, the job position for which I’d been contacted was for a senior programming position at a old and moneyed firm, so I decided to err on the side of conservatism: dark grey suit, white shirt with a few skinny navy stripes and a less-raffish-than-my-usual tie. On the way to the interview, I ran into my friend Char, who said I looked hot. After the interview, I went to Zooko’s and Amber’s for dinner, and she said I looked nice in a suit.

Interview clothing:a quick guide

Photo: Paul and me at the whiteboard in Zooko's attic office, hours after my interview.

Appropriate interview clothing. Well, the guy on the right — me, that is — is wearing approriate clothing. That is, if I were to do up the tie and put on the jacket. But doesn’t that outfit and smile say “professional” to you? (Photo taken last night at Zooko’s after dinner.)

Photo: Some fool dressed up as Team Rocket's 'James' from 'Pokemon', scowling and holding a Pikachu doll in a leash.

Inappropriate interview clothing. Besides, the guy’s wearing the wrong colour wig. “James'” hair is purple. I’ve obscured this poor sap’s face out of kindness.

It looks as though writing the War and Peace of resumes — a ten-page chef d’oeuvre providing a detailed run-down of just about every significant software project I’ve ever worked on since 1995 — paid off. The headhunter — I mean recruitment consultant — said “Thanks for putting your back into it on such short notice. It shows you’ve got initiative.”

He’s half right — it’s partly inititiative, partly a morbid fear of being reduced to giving sexual favours at the bus station in exchange for cheese.

“A strong Microsoft background,” he said, looking at my credentials, “we like that.” In some geek circles, this is the equivalent of Darth Vader saying “The Force is strong in youngnSkywalker. He could be a powerful ally if he were turned to the Dark Side.”

They seemed to like the fact that I’ve actually been to Redmond to meet with some of their kahunas. The only way I could’ve looked more Microsoft-y would’ve been to have MCSD certification (Microsoft’s certification for software developers, the primary value of which is to be able to demand a larger salary than those who don’t have one. Well, that and the lapel pin that Microsoft sends you.)

The company looking for a programmer is in Toronto’s sleepy Oakville (terribly suburban), which for me would be a 45-minute commute by highway during rush hour; possibly longer if the weather’s bad. I suspect that it’s in an office park. Shades of Office Space, cubicles (although I’m hoping that a senior programmer would rate his own office) and battles over red Swingline staplers. And it’s in an industry notorious for being boring (I leave you to guess what it is). Still, if I didn’t think that the work matched what I can do and that it is possible to have interesting work in the IT department of a boring industry, I wouldn’t have shown up for the interview. I also like getting paid more than I dislike commuting.

On the good side, the inside poop is that the structure within the place is solid enough so that it’s not a mass pandemononium, but not so rigid as to be stifling, and that they’re surprisingly office politics-free.

I think that’s all I can say without treading onto dangerous breach-of-confidentiality territory. Now I just have to play the waiting game.


That night, I had the closest thing I’ve had to a nightmare in some time. I boarded the Queen Street streetcar bound for home. Somehow, after boarding it, the streetcar had become a non-stop express bus bound for Barrie, a town not quite an hour’s drive away, from where a good number of Toronto’s commuters come.

I tried to negotiate with the driver to drop me off anywhere so I could find my way back south to civilization, but an old lady beside me begged me not to — she was running late and would miss a connecting train if the bus took even the shortest of stops. The conductor (Conductor? On a bus?) looked at some kind of fancy PDA with large screen and an antenna (hey, when I dream, I dream high-tech, baby!) and confirmed what she said: “Son, if we stop for you, the old lady will miss her train.”

He then gave me a very solemn look and said “And there will never, ever be another train again.”

Damn, I couldn’t do that to a little old lady. So on the bus to nowhere I stayed.

That’s when I woke up with a bit of a start, sort of like that cliched way in which people wake up after a nightmare in TV shows and movies.

“Only a dream,” I said to myself. I staggered out of my Victorian four-poster bed and walked down the marbled chandeliered hallway leading to the bathroom that I shared with my housemates.

Dobry den,” (that’s “Good day” in Czech) said my housemate, whose name I still didn’t know. I said “Yo, dogg.” back, and made a mental note to learn his name. It’s bad to live with someone whose name you don’t know.

I went into the bathroom, a palatial commode so fancy that Queen Elizabeth herself would’ve been honoured to take a dump there. Ornate hand-blown glass fixtures, a claw-footed tub, and a tiled wall mural depicting a battle scene with men carrying muskets and bayonets. A large door-size window provided a spectacular view of the Vltava River, the Karlova Most and the Old Town. I opened the window, letting the cool breeze blowing over the river wake me up a little more.

Wait a minute, I thought, what the hell am I doing in Prague?

And that’s when I really woke up.

Photo: Building in Prague on the right bank of the Vltava River. Taken from the left bank, January 2000.

My cool pad in Prague. Just a little bit south of the Old Town, not far from Karlova Most — the Charles Bridge — and…wait a minute, I don’t live in Prague. It’s just a dream.

I have my own theories as to what this dream means, but if you’d like to give me your interpretation, feel free to use the comments for this entry.

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The "War and Peace" of resumes

It’s a little hard to believe, but putting your resume online actually works — at least if you’re a programmer. I got a call from a recruiter yesterday, which led to an interview today.

The headhunter — I mean recruitment consultant — asked me if I could rewrite my paper resume, though. I kept it to the standard limit of two pages using a font size that doesn’t require you to use a microsocope to read it, but what these guys want is something more detailed. He e-mailed me a sample resume, which had a whopping seven full pages of twelve-point text.

“That’s the opposite of what most resume guides tell you to do,” I said to him in our phone conversation, “Most of them say that resumes over two pages get tossed in the trash.”

“That’s often the case,” he replied, “but d’you want to work for someone who won’t even take the time to find out about you before deciding whether to hire you?”

Of course not. I was just always under the impression that most employers and agencies used people’s resumes as a quick way of paring down the candidate list.

So right now, I’m scrambling to put together a detailed resume in the format they like. This should be an interesting interview; wish me luck.

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Calling anyone who can read Russian!

Could someone please translate this article from the Express Gazette? It’s about Helen Hunt, and it has a very odd photo [Warning: It may not be safe for work].

I’m certain that the translation will be nowhere nearly as entertaining as the stories I’m imagining, but I’d like to know what it says anyway.

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In the meantime…

…you might want to look at the past couple of entries in The Happiest Geek on Earth, which cover both Apple’s latest “Switch” ads and Microsoft’s fake “Switch” testimonial. Even for non-techies, it’s a interesting read.

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We apologize for the silence

I’ve been taking care of some programming projects as well as a major overhaul to my other blog, The Happiest Geek on Earth.

There’s be more stuff soon, but first I’m off to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving lunch.

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No rest for the wicked

There’s work aplenty to be done, and most of it is about getting work to be done. It’s meta-work!

Anyhow, all this work means that today’s entry — which is a long one detailing an appearance on a TV show on which I have appeared but have never seen — will have to wait until later tonight.

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Preliminary party announcement

Photo: The life of the party's had one too many Coors Lights. Man pointing his ass at the camera, giving it the finger while two friends -- one amused and one not-so-amused -- look on.

I’m the birthday boy! Kiss my ass! Whoo! And all this from Coors Light too.

The party for the big 3-5 will take place on Saturday, November 9th at Big Trouble in Little China, better known as my house. Details and invitations to follow shortly.

Yes, that’s right: I will be turning 35 years old on November 5th

— but since that falls on a Tuesday, I’m having the party on the

following Saturday, the 9th. If you’ve been to the last two at this

place, you’ll know what kind of bacchanal I’m talking about.

How do I keep my youthful appearance? Two words: clean living.

Photo: Me playing at Kick Ass Karaoke while host Carson T. Foster looks on, September 2002.

Clean living keeps you young. Kick Ass

Karaoke, September 2002. The next Kick Ass Karaoke will take place on

Wednesday, October 23rd. The guy in his underwear? He’s Carson T.

Foster, the host.

Okay, maybe not clean living. How ’bout just living?