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"Soviet Canuckistan" — now on a T-shirt!

Although Pat Buchanan’s use of the term “Soviet Canuckistan” to describe The People’s Republic of AccordionGuy (the country in which Accordion City is located), it’s been used before:

…and now, an ironic hipster-friendly T-shirt:

Photo: 'Soviet Canuckistan' T-shirts.

Is sexy t-shirt, da? Suitable for proletariat wearink. Will be impressink the hotties in the collective, no?

These were shown at a party held last night to raise awareness of WildCulture.com (there’s not much on the page right now), the on-line reincarnation of Wild Culture, a Toronto-based magazine devoted to ecology, sustainable development, community action and the like (the magazine isn’t around anymore, but they’ve just released this anthology). They’re going for 30 Canadian Roubles each, and I’m going to try and find out how you can order them. In the meantime, if you’re interested in one, drop me a line, and I’ll pass the message on to the t-shirt makers.

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Brisket!

This is a “cheese sandwich” posting taken to the next level.

I’m posting this photo of tonight’s dinner, a brisket that I helped Paul make, as a public service. I want to dispel the stereotype that geeks can’t cook. That, and the fact that I’m so easily amused that I think taking pictures of brisket is fun.

If I get permission to post the recipe, I will. In the meantime, you’ll have to either come on over and sample the food or make do with a photo.

Photo: The brisket, just before it went into the oven. You can't see the meat, as it's covered with garlic, onions, potatoes, carrrots, celery, dates and figs.

Brisket! Paul laid out the mea, spiced it and made the sauce, while I covered it in pressed the garlic, sliced the vegetables and covered it.
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It Happened to Me

Karin the enabler

Photo: Karin.

 

Karin the party machine. Taken this summer at the Bovine Sex Club.

Every time I hang out with my friend Karin, I end up drinking waaaay more than intended.

Last night, we set out to go catch 8 Mile — “It’s the white Purple Rain!” I remember remarking at one point — with Karin and her friends Ed, Kirk and Tara. Paul, Kat and I caught up with them at The Bishop and the Belcher, a nearby pub, where Karin and company were having dinner.

“Joey, why aren’t you drinking?” asked Karin, using a tone of voice that is normally reserved for lines like “Poor little kittens, did you lose your mittens?”

“Not in the budget,” I said, “I just have money for the movie.” I was planning on dropping by the Velvet Underground later, where I can land at least a couple of free drinks, and the busking afterwards would help cover the entertainment budget for the next week.

(Attention employers: I really need a job.)

“We can’t have that,” said Karin, who signalled the waitress and ordered a pint of Stella Artois for me, followed by a half-pint.

We got to the movie theatre only to find out that it had been sold out. Paul and Kat opeted to go home, while the rest of us went to the nearby restaurant/bar/dance club/meet market Fez Batik.

We’d barely bellied up to the bar when Karin put a pint of Heineken in my hand.

After that came the shots of Liquid Cocaine: Jagermeister and Goldschlager.

This was followed by another round. Then another pint.

Then back to my house, where we put on the Gorillaz and finished the rest of the birthday beer, save the giant Heineken bottle.

At just after midnight, everyone departed — Tara and Kirk were quite looped, Ed was catching up with other people, and Karin had to be at work at 9 this morning. I walked her to Spadina and hailed a cab for her. I would’ve said that she was leaning against me for support as we walked, but I’m sure I was doing pretty much the same.

I stumbled back home, fully intending to get my second wind and go to the Velvet to catch up with some friends who’d be there. But first, I needed to lie down for just…one…moment…

…and woke up some time around 5 a.m. with a parched mouth and a full bladder.

On the way to the bathroom, the power went out. Soon after that, but well after I’d crawled back into bed, the power came back on. The sunken halogen lights in my bedroom ceiling glowed with Satan’s vengeance. The dining room CD player dutifully started playing The Gorillaz at a volume inappropriate for 5 a.m., so I had to stumble out of bed to shut it off before it woke any housemates into a justifiably homicidal rage.

There was more to the night than just drinking. There was some really good ‘n’ saucy conversation, but alas, it’s all pretty much unbloggable. You’ll just have to use your imaginations.

I’m doing considerably better now — I’m just a little dehydrated and only mildly disoriented as I type this.

Karin, you enabling hussy, this is all your fault.

Let’s do this again soon.

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2002 International Rock Paper Scissors Championship

That’s right, it’s the 2002 International Rock Paper Scissor Championships, and they’re being held here in Toronto! For the first time, this competition is open to members of the general public. You see, up till now, it was open only to professionals.

Is it because they believe that the general public thinks that “good old rock always wins”?

The championships will be held tomorrow at The Mockingbird (580 King Street West), a spacious exposed-brick warehouse bar where many DJ events are held. Be there a little bit before 8 p.m. if you want to compete and it turns into a post-championship party at 11 p.m.

It’s a short stumble away from Big Trouble in Little China (my house), so I might have to attend this one.

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"Your ass is mine!"

Photo: Actor Jeffrey Jones as Ed Rooney in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'

Ed Rooney! “Pucker up, buttercup.”

That’s what Dean of Students Rooney says when he thinks he’s caught Ferris Bueller at the arcade.

It might have been what he said to the seventeen year-old boy with whom he was caught, too. Jeffrey Jones, the actor who played the nemesis of my personal hero Ferris Bueller, was arrested yesterday and charged with having sex with a minor and possession of kiddie porn.

As FARK put it: “No wonder Rooney wanted Ferris so bad.”

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Burning Man Party tomorrow night

A group of Toronto-based Burning Man attendees are hosting a decompression party tomorrow night:

Graphic: Starry Playa Night flyer

The details

Where: Blue Moon (725 Queen Street East, just east of Broadview on the south side of Queen)

When: Saturday, November 16th, 9:00 p.m.

Cover: $5 ($4 if you bring a non-perishable food item for the Daily Bread Food Bank)

Some additional info:

This is a licensed event and while there is no BYOB, we do encourage you to bring out anything you might like to have with you on the Playa for the evening, from glitter and body paints to gifts and costume changes!

There are several events planned to take place throughout the course of the evening, including such events as playa style Fashion Show, DJs, Burlesque dancers, chill space by the SMUT PUDDLERS, body painting, Fire Performers, Art installations, Video and Visual installations, massage tables and more!!!!

(Thanks to Curtis Austin for the link!)

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Internet Finds

Who knew soy sauce led such an exciting life?

In case you’re jonesing for some new weird and wacky Japanese animated advertising (remember the animations for Panasonic’s “Hi-Ho” Internet service?), here’s a promo for Kikkoman Soy Sauce that only the Japanese could produce. You’ll never look at soy sauce as just plain old salty black liquid again.

The partially-English chorus of the Kikkoman theme, “Show me, show you” is a pun — shoyu is the Japanese word for soy sauce.

(Thanks to Sandra Kasturi for the link.)