Here’s the Christmas song that Spinal Tap should’ve written: Mistress for Christmas, by AC/DC, from their 1990 album, The Razor’s Edge (you know, the one with the hit single Thunderstruck):
Mistress For Christmas
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the day
I just can’t wait till Christmas time
When I can grope you in the hay
Easy come, easy go
Have a good time with lots of dough
Slippin’ up high, slippin’ down low
Love’m and leave’m on with the show
Listen, I like female form in minimal dress
Money to spend with a capital ‘S’
Get a date with the woman in red
Wanna be in heaven with three in a bed
He got it, I want it
They got it, I can’t have it
But I want it, it don’t matter
She got it, but I can’t get it
I want a mistress for Christmas
Easy come, easy go
Slippin’ high, slippin’ low
He got it, I want it
They got it, I can’t have it
I want it, don’t matter
She got it, and I can’t get a –
Mistress for Christmas
You know what I’m talkin’ about
I want the woman in red with bow in my bed
I can hear you coming down my smoke stack
I wanna ride on your raindeer honey and ring the bells
