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Mistress for Christmas

Idle hands ain’t the Devil’s workshop, baby, they’re Santa’s workshop! Aussie Kate thinks that Santa hitting on all the pretty girls is some kind of Canadian tradition. Don’t tell her, okay?

Here’s the Christmas song that Spinal Tap should’ve written: Mistress for Christmas, by AC/DC, from their 1990 album, The Razor’s Edge (you know, the one with the hit single Thunderstruck):

Mistress For Christmas

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the day

I just can’t wait till Christmas time

When I can grope you in the hay

Easy come, easy go

Have a good time with lots of dough

Slippin’ up high, slippin’ down low

Love’m and leave’m on with the show

Listen, I like female form in minimal dress

Money to spend with a capital ‘S’

Get a date with the woman in red

Wanna be in heaven with three in a bed

He got it, I want it

They got it, I can’t have it

But I want it, it don’t matter

She got it, but I can’t get it

I want a mistress for Christmas

Easy come, easy go

Slippin’ high, slippin’ low

He got it, I want it

They got it, I can’t have it

I want it, don’t matter

She got it, and I can’t get a –

Mistress for Christmas

You know what I’m talkin’ about

I want the woman in red with bow in my bed

I can hear you coming down my smoke stack

I wanna ride on your raindeer honey and ring the bells

Ho, ho, ho! You’re going on the “naughty” list, young lady!
Joey deVilla

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