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In defence of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys

Here’s something a little refreshing: amidst the sound and fury of renaming dishes from “french fries” to “freedom fries”, the National Review’s Rod Dreher wrote a nice little essay called I Like France. He may not agree with their stance on an invasion of Iraq, but he knows the difference between ephemeral things like a current government’s stance and the timeless things that make a country what it is. It should be made required reading for all American politicians (remember, they’ve got people who’ve bragged that they’ve never set foot outside American soil as a strategy for getting elected).

An excerpt:

You hear people who have never been to France, and don’t know the first thing about the great things about France and the French, speaking with such confidence about the utter worthlessness of that country. When I hear my fellow Americans writing all of France and French culture off because of its disagreeable and arguably immoral politics, I think of the Yankees I know who believe there’s nothing of any worth whatsoever in the south because of the legacy of its racial history. That is, I hear chauvinistic ignorance passing itself off as moral superiority. France is full of such people who say and believe similar things about America and Americans. People of intelligence and discernment everywhere should resist this sort of thing.

Look, I find it impossible to defend France’s politics or its diplomacy, but that’s not why I go to France every chance I get, and will go again. France is a deeply wonderful place to visit, and a place where the people know a great deal about how life should be lived. It is a country for grown-ups. And they damn sure know how to eat.

Well put, sir.


The current hissy-fit towards the Gauls that our Yankee neighbours are having will eventually pass. America’s had a long-running love affair with France that’s quite pithily summed up in this passage from Oscar Wilde’s clever-clever book, The Picture of Dorian Gray:

“When America was discovered,” said the Radical member– and he began to give some wearisome facts. Like all people who try to exhaust a subject, he exhausted his listeners. The duchess sighed and exercised her privilege of interruption. “I wish to goodness it never had been discovered at all!” she exclaimed. “Really, our girls have no chance nowadays. It is most unfair.”

“Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered,” said Mr. Erskine; “I myself would say that it had merely been detected.”

“Oh! but I have seen specimens of the inhabitants,” answered the duchess vaguely. “I must confess that most of them are extremely pretty. And they dress well, too. They get all their dresses in Paris. I wish I could afford to do the same.”

“They say that when good Americans die they go to Paris,” chuckled Sir Thomas, who had a large wardrobe of Humour’s cast-off clothes.

“Really! And where do bad Americans go to when they die?” inquired the duchess.

“They go to America,” murmured Lord Henry.

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Playmobil HazMat Crew!

Photo: Playmobil's newest action figure set: the HazMat (HAZardous MATerials) crew!

Action figures for toxic times. It’s the Playmobil HazMat (HAZardous MATerials) clean-up crew. Now do they have a “drunk oil tanker captain” figure?

[Thanks to Prentiss Riddle and his blog, Apprendiz de Todo, Maestro de Nada, for the link!]

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What the hell, people?

Wear a Star of David at York University (located in the north-west corner of Accordion City), and suddenly you’re an automatic villain-by-proxy. I feel for the Palestinians, but some of their supporters are just downright loathsome.

Where’s a “they can all go to Hell” rally when you need one?

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Congrats, Steve!

My friend, former OpenCola co-worker and coder for Blogger/Google Steve Jenson has made the big time: his photo appears in a CNN.com story, Blogging Goes Mainstream. And to think that Dan and I were sure that his first CNN appearance would involve him being escorted into a police cruiser…

Photo: CNN photo of Steve Jenson and his laptop, in a lounge somewhere in Stately Google Manor.

I’m Feeling Lucky. Steve chills in a lounge somewhere in Stately Google Manor. You have to love the software business — what other decently-paying job lets you wear Dead Kennedys T-shirts to the office?
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Worst dates ever, chapter one: Begin near the end

Almost, but not quite, the end

Mid-September 1999, a few months after everything happened.

It was a quiet evening at Tequila Bookworm. Aside from Chris and I, there weren’t any of the usual suspects at the cafe that was also a bouquiniste and magazine store. I’d been there for a couple of hours with my laptop, working on a database of every mall in America, ordering a Diet Coke every so often. For almost two years, the cafe had been like an office for me: with a laptop and cellphone, I could get work done and also get a break from the solitude that normally comes with the double whammy of self-employment and computer programming.

Chris had joined me a half hour earlier. He was walking on Queen Street when saw my bike parked outside the cafe and came in to say hello. I’d been showing him photos from Burning Man on my laptop.

I don’t know how we got onto the subject of The Girl, but I remember it started with him looking around for her at one point.

“Is she here?” Chris asked.

“[The Girl]?” No, she’s not working tonight.

There was a brief lull in the conversation.

“I warned you, but you went ahead and did it anyway.”

“Did what?” I asked.

“Broke the rule. The don’t-date-where-you-drink rule.”

“Oh, that.”

“Everyone breaks it. I got warned when I did it, didn’t listen, regretted it. Every time I tell someone the rule, they break it anyway.”

“Maybe it’s one of those things. A game you’re not meant to win, but have to play anyway.”

“You mean like life?”

“Geez, Chris, you’re morbid sometimes.”

“Just a realist, my friend, just a realist. And speaking of reality, guess who’s coming our way. I’ll leave you two to get re-acquainted.”

Chris rose from his stool, threw his satchel over his shoulder and nodded a quick greeting to The Girl, whom I didn’t notice walking in.

The Girl said “Hello” in return with that charming British accent, took a seat beside me, smiled and ran her fingers through my hair.

“So,” I said, “what’s a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?” (Yes, I stole the line from M*A*S*H. So sue me.)

“I saw your bike outside.”

My bike is a dead giveaway that I’m nearby. It’s an olive green 1950’s style cruiser. I’ve always wanted something like it since seeing Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.


The bike in question. A Raleigh 5-speed cruiser. It’s not about speed, but comfort and style.

“Your natural colour,” she said, messing up my newly-dyed jet black spikes.

“It was only that colour when I was a kid,” I said. “Mom wouldn’t let me go to Eileen’s wedding as a blond.” My sister’s wedding, a spectacular event that started at St. Michael’s Cathedral and concluded at the ballroom of the King Edward Hotel with about 200 or so guests, had taken place the week before. If my wedding is a tenth as good, I will be a happy man.

I decided to return the favour and twirl her dark brown locks. Like me, she’d been blonde earlier in the year.

“Once again, we cross the line of the waitress-customer relationship,” she quipped.

“You’re fixated on that, aren’t you: ‘waitress and customer, andnever the twain shall meet’. It’s not like a doctor-patient relationship. Doctors hold the power of life and death. You hold coffee and sandwiches.”

“Well, as long as we’re breaking rules, do you still have that Canadian Club at your place?”

“There’s still half a bottle left.”

If life were a cartoon — and it often is — there would be two miniature versions of me sitting on my shoulders. One would be dressed in white with wings and a halo saying “Do you think this is such a good idea, Mr. deVilla?” while the other would be dressed in red with horns and a pitchfork, doing pelvic thrusts and saying “British Invasion!” FWOOOOOAAAAARRRR!”


It was one of those moments. I even sort of looked like that.

The smart thing would be to go home alone, curl up with Tequila (my teddy bear) and the copy of Accordion Crimes that the cute girl I met at Burning Man gave me as a keepsake.

Mind you, would I have as much fun if I always did the smart thing?

Next: My ex-girlfriend lusts after The Girl, or how I met her.

Worst Date Ever: All the Parts

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Friends getting recognition

Congrats are in order to…

Fellow GTABlogger, Filipino and all-round impresario Rannie “Photojunkie” Turingan for winning the Best Canadian Weblog award in the 2003 Bloggies. Remember folks, that award will be mine next year. Oh yes, it will be mine…

My friend and former officemate Cory Doctorow for getting his first review in the New York Times. He’s movin’ on up, to the east side…

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Angsty comics for you to enjoy / The "worst dates ever" story cometh!

Rumors

If you haven’t checked out Small Stories, the Web site of comic artist Derek Kirk Kim, do so! It’s full of kimchi-spicy Korean-American Gen-X “why can’t I get a date” hilarity, pathos and angst.

Derek’s most recent comic series, Same Difference, has just concluded. He’s taking a short break while working on other projects, but luckily for us, his brother Brent has stepped in by providing scans of a comic he made years ago, Rumors. Take a gander at a slice of this story (“based on true events!”) and Brent’s quirky comic style:

Graphic: Sample from Brent Kirk's 'Rumors' net comic.

A helluva lot of information in just six panels! Check out the mondo graphic expressiveness — even the backgrounds help tell the story by illustrating Brent’s mental state.

Okay, so they’re not brand new, but they’re still a good read.

Speaking of old stories getting a new lease on life…

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you’ll remember that I promised you folks a recounting of my worst dates ever if enough of you nominated me for a Bloggie award. I didn’t make the nominations but announced that I’d run the story anyway, just to say thanks for all your support.

The first entry of that story appears tomorrow. Set your story calendars to the year 1999…