Here’s a first for the blog: I’m going to open with a show tune…
The Lusty Month of May
from the musical “Camelot”
by Lerner and Loewe
Tra la, it’s May, the lusty Month of May
That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray
Tra la, it’s here, that shocking time of year
When tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear
It’s May, It’s May, that gorgeous holiday
When every maiden prays that her lad will be a cad
It’s mad, it’s gay, alive, a lust display
Those dreary vows that everyone takes, everyone breaks
Everyone makes divine mistakes
The Lusty Month of May
Whence this fragrance wafting through the air?
What sweet feelings does it’s scent transmute?
Whence this perfume floating everywhere?
Don’t you know, it’s that dear forbidden fruit
It’s May, the lusty month of May
That darling month when everyone throws self-control away
It’s time to do a wretched thing or two
And try to make each precious day one you’ll always rue
It’s May, it’s May, the month of “Yes, you may”
The time for every frivolous whim, proper or im-
It’s wild, it’s gay, depraved in every way
The birds and bees with all of their vast amorous past
Gaze at the human race aghast
The Lusty Month of May
Tra la, it’s May, the lusty Month of May
That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray
Tra la, it’s here, that shocking time of year
When tons of wicked little thoughts merrily appear
It’s May, it’s may, the month of great dismay
when all the world is brimming with fun, wholesome or un-
It’s mad, it’s gay, alive a lust display
Those dreary vows that everyone takes, everyone breaks
Everyone makes divine mistakes
The Lusty Month of May
Long before the Communists appropriated the holiday and turned it into a day for dour marches, tanks in Red Square and excessive smugness in postmodern English Lit departments at most universities, May Day was associated with actual celebration. The ancient Romans, the first people to consider turning the word “party” into a verb, turned the day into a tribute to the fertility goddess Flora.
The Anglo-Saxons — before they got into country clubs, bookends shaped like ducks and The Official Preppy Handbook, back when they were still a fun people — referred to the day as Beltane, a celebration marking the return of spring. It’s still celebrated today by some Wiccans. (A quick aside: The best way to annoy a Wiccan is to say “Hey, you guys make cool baskets”. Or just point out death metal bands that use their holiday.)
The French associate the month of May with both the Virgin Mary and cows, though I believe they do so in separate ceremonies.
This article says that in the Czech Republic, boys at night place maypoles before their sweethearts’ windows. This is obviously some kind of double-entendre.
In Hawaii, the first of May has been called Lei Day, which I’m also sure is another double-entendre.
As for me, May Day has its own meaning: on this day in 1999, a Saturday, my friend Krazy Karl Mohr and I took our accordion out on the street for the very first time, and our lives haven’t been the same since. Here are some of the great things that have happened because of the accordion:
- Our first day out — May 1, 1999
- It’s gotten me a number of television appearances: MuchMusic’s Much On Demand, Love By Design, and a number of tech-related news clips on CNN, MSNBC, TechTV, ABC and last but certainly not least, Naked News.
- It’s landed me several job offers as well as a couple of jobs as a programmer, once while I was on a date (which the accordion helped me get, anyway).
- It landed me a job as a go-go dancer.
- It’s saved my ass — literally — from a body cavity search by U.S. Customs.
- The accordion got me a date in Prague and saves me from a mugging (see the December 31, 1999 part)
- The Stagette. (Thanks to this story, I still have the number one Google entry for the word “stagette”.)
Happy Accordion day, everybody!