Categories
Uncategorized

This must be the 21st century!

We may not have flying cars yet (although Montreal cabbies are pretty good at faking it), but I’ve recently seen gadgets that nobody would’ve recognized a mere five years ago…

Segway

The CIBC (for non-Canadians: it’s a bank) is promoting their new VISA card by sending out representatives to hand out flyers while scooting about on advertising-laden Segways. I suppose having them on Segways is a little more attention-getting that merely sending them out on foot…

Photo: CIBC representative on CIBC promotional Segway.

Unfortunately, the advertising hides her very nice pleather pants. The CIBC should take note of this, as I, like many red-blooded straight men, have been programmed to accept the orders of women in leather pants without question.

WiFi

With even grade school students owning cell phones these days, public phone use has gone down considerably. At the same time, with the rise of mobile computing and wireless internet, more and more people are WiFi users. Bell Canada’s taken the smart approach and provided free WiFi access at many VIA rail stations across Canada, placing their WiFi access points in rugged, HAL 9000-esque containers in spaces where a pay phone would normally go.

Photo: Bell Canada Wifi access point at Union Station, Toronto.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Hello from Montreal!

Ah, Montreal. Home of McGill University, people-watching on St. Laurent and Prince Arthur, smoked meat and poutine, the great club known as Foufounes Electriques (literally, “Electric Buttocks”) and my first serious brush with girl trouble so many years ago.

Or was it my second serious brush? It depends on how you count it, and what you classify as trouble. It’ll make a great blog entry someday.

Thanks to Dave Polaschek’s VIA rail voucher, my housemate Paul and I travelled here first class in one of those four-seat booths with the table, getting our asses kicked my the chess program on my PowerBook, eating pan-friend trout, and drinking Bloody Marys, red wine and I introduced him to the joy that is Grand Marnier. If gangsta rappers took the train, they’d do it the way we did. Once again, thanks, Dave!

My friend Boris loaned us his apartment while he jaunts off to New York to hang out with Joi Ito. His place is in a cute little arrondisement just off the St-Laurent strip and across the street from a cool little cafe called Cafe Jose where they make great crepes and soups and seem to play nothing but Men Without Hats (who came from Montreal and wrote The Greatest Song in the World, Safety Dance). Once again, thanks, Boris!

(Cafe Jose has “RIP Johnny Cash” on their blackboard today. We’ll miss you, Mr. Cash.)

Later tonight, Steph (a.k.a. “Sniffles”) from the #joiito channel, and possible Aaron and the rest of the YULbloggers (YUL is the airport code for Montreal’s Mirabel Airport) will be meeting us at the resto-bar Pistol (on the east side of St-Laurent, just south of Ave. des Pins) at 8:00 p.m. Feel free to join us. I’ll be the Hawaiian-looking guy with the accordion.

The interesting thing to note about this vacation is that it would’ve happened differently without the Internet and “social software” like blogs or IRC. Dave wouldn’t have read my blog and he never would have decided to send me a rail voucher that he wouldn’t have had the chance to use. I never would’ve met Boris, and would have had to make alternate (and more expensive) accomodation arrangements. I wouldn’t be meeting with anyone for drinks tonight. What wonderful things happen when technology and people blend in just the right way!

Yesterday, we wandered around the city, toured the Ste-Catherine strip, and hit old Montreal. We met Tony, an nice older gentleman and accordion busker, where we had a little jam session. Paul took the footage, and I’ll post it later. Last night, we had dinner at the Shed on St-Laurent, stared at their hot, hot bartender, watched girls and did your typical good-lookin’-single-guy things. I tried to teach Paul some remedial French and get him to appreciate Campari and soda with little success. (Especially the Campari and soda. Suddenly, it’s as if a switch has gone off in my head and I’m into “old man” drinks.) Today, it’s some clothes shopping, then the Biodome, then Le Pistol, then who-knows-what. Tomorrow, it’s tam-tam by the mountain, who knows what else, and then back on the train at around 6 p.m. to arrive in Toronto around 11:30. I’ll probably still make it to Kickass Karaoke, which takes place at Rivoli tomorrow night.

Wandering around town, I see posters for two of my friends, who’ve made rock stardom: Lederhosen Lucil, with whom I played in the electro-improv band Lion, and Hawksley Workman, with whom I’ve jammed and backed up John Southworth on his radio special. Well done, guys!

Boris, if you’re reading this, your home internet connection is still down. I’m entering this from a net cafe on St-Laurent. We fed your cat. You’ll have to guess what we fed it to.

Categories
Uncategorized

An attempt to clear out the blog entry backlog…

…will be made this weekend. I’ll be spending a total of ten hours on a train (first class, even!) so I figure I should be able to crank out some blog entries I’ve been meaning to finish.

Priority number one will be given to WORST DATE EVER PART 5: “Hot English Girls and Horse Tranquilizers” and a little after-the-fact story with me and Crabs that I’ll call “Dude, I loved the way your head exploded!”

(A certain member of the clergy keeps asking for Worst Date Ever, part 5 and I figure I should make him happy. I’m going to need a guy on the inside to vouch for me when it’s time to do those afterlife bookings, and I don’t think my “BUT JESUS, I CAN EXPLAIN!” t-shirt is going to cut it.)

Someone recently emailed me (in fact, I still have to email this person back — soon, I promise!), saying “You’ve experienced quite a few bizarre events.  I’m glad you can look back and laugh.” Thank you! My trick to handling life’s strange vicissitudes? Preparedness. As shown by Torg in today’s Sluggy Freelance comic:

Categories
Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Accordion City is Rock and Roll City

Not only that, it’s FREE rock and roll too!

Damn, I’m going to miss Chuck Klosterman (who wrote the rock/pop culture book Sex and Drugs and Cocoa Puffs), who’ll be speaking tonight at 7:00 p.m. at The Rivoli (334 Queen Street West, half a block east of Spadina, right around the corner from my house).

The super fun band known as Super Furry Animals will have an in-store concert on Monday, September 15th at Soundscapes on 572 College Street West at 7:00 p.m.

Categories
Geek It Happened to Me

I wonder if the same engineer was involved

Back in early 2002, I went down to the San Francisco Bay Area to hang out with friends and to help my housemate Paul present Peekabooty at CodeCon. I arrived a day early and hung out with my friend Jillzilla in Mountain View that night, where we met some engineers who were wondering why my accordion didn’t make any sound. I made a note of our conversation in my blog entry for February 23, 2002:

A group of drunk partygoers — an even mix of men and women — see the accordion and ask the question that most ninety-nine out of one hundred people ask: “Do you know how to play that thing?” I prove that I can by breaking into a couple of popular tunes.

After a couple of tunes, I stop to talk to the group. One of the women is pressing on the keys repeatedly and getting frustrated.

Her: It’s not making any sound!

Me: Of course not.

Her (annoyed, as if I’m playing some kind of joke on her): Why not?

Me: Because I’m not squeezing the bellows right now.

Her: What?

Me: The accordion is just a big harmonica with buttons and an air bag. Sound doesn’t come our of a harmonica by itself; you have to blow air into it to make noise. Same here, except you squeeze the bellows to move air over the reeds.

Her (impressed by my extremely basic science): Wow.

One of the guys: Dude, you’re not from around here, are you? What brings you down here?

Me: I’m visiting my friend Jill [I point to Jill] and am attending a conference in San Francisco tomorrow.

Guy: We’re all from around here. Most of us work at Lockheed.

Her: I’m a mechanical engineer there.

Me (thinking): I am never ever boarding a Lockheed plane again.

I was reminded of this story because earlier this week, I’d heard about how a satellite at the Lockheed Martin plant where those engineers worked got ruined due to sheer incompetence:

As the NOAA-N Prime spacecraft was being repositioned from vertical to horizontal on the “turn over cart” at approximately 7:15 PDT today, it slipped off the fixture, causing severe damage. (See attached photo). The 18′ long spacecraft was about 3′ off the ground when it fell.

The mishap was caused because 24 bolts were missing from a fixture in the “turn over cart”. Two errors occurred. First, technicians from another satellite program that uses the same type of “turn over cart” removed the 24 bolts from the NOAA cart on September 4 without proper documentation. Second, the NOAA team working today failed to follow the procedure to verify the configuration of the NOAA “turn over cart” since they had used it a few days earlier.

(The emphasis is mine, by the way.)

In case you’re dying for a visual, here’s a large photo of the satellite after it tipped over.

I can see the instant message chatter going on at Lockheed right now:

[RocketMan23] SRRY BOUT BORRWING BOLTS WITHOUT TELLING U BUT U SHULD HV CHEKD LOL

I really do wonder if the same engineer was involved…

Categories
Uncategorized

Montreal bound

I’m leaving for a weekend in Montreal tonight, and I’m taking my housemate Paul there as his birthday present (His birthday’s on the 13th). It’s part of Paul’s indoctrination as a soon-to-be “New Canadian”. I’ll take him to rue Prince-Arthur, St-Denis, the mountain, the old city, “Club Super Sexe” (at least to take his picture beside that beautiful sign) and teach him remedial French.

Thanks to a VIA Rail voucher sent to me by Dave “Dave’s Picks” Polaschek — thanks very much, Dave! — and Boris’ loaning me of his apartment (he’s off to NYC for the weekend) — thanks, Boris! — we can go to Montreal in cheap but comfortable style.

We’ll be there from tonight around 11:30 p.m. to Sunday around 6:00 p.m. If you’re in Montreal and want to share in some drinking and general accordion mayhem, I’ll have my cell phone (416 WIT N HIP — hey, that’s the number they gave me) and I should have email access.

Categories
Uncategorized

New entries in The Devil’s Dictionary

Greg Knauss’ The Devil’s Dictionary (which I’ve mentioned before) has some wonderfully nasty definitions of things computer- and Web-ish. He updates it every now and again, and he’s added some new entries since last I checked. My favourites:

GNU License, noun

An impairment of vision, causing the victim’s perception to be limited to black and white.

usability, adjective

The quality of being easy, usually championed by the difficult.

(One nitpick: “usability” is a noun; “usable” is an adjective.)

extreme programming, noun

A method of software development that combines all the charm of backseat driving with all the efficiency of a marital squabble.