Categories: It Happened to Me

I am the Keymaker

It dawned on me that with the exception of the card-dealer’s visor, I had everything I needed to go as “The Keymaker” from The Matrix Reloaded for Hallowe’en:

Photo: Randall Duk Kim as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.Photo: Randall Duk Kim as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.

A quick trip to the dollar store later, I had a visor and some extra-long keychains to complete the outfit. To be faithful to the character (and partially just to appease Dad just this once — I don’t think he’s ever been a fan of it), I shaved off my goatee. A substitution of the contact lenses for an old pair of coke-bottle glasses, a change of posture and an expression assisted by lack of sleep the night before, and you get an older man with the keys that can lead Neo to “The Source”:

Photo: Joey deVilla as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.Photo: Joey deVilla as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.

Yeesh. That’s just damned scary. I look ten years older. I could probably get a job in a convenience store looking like that: “Dis no ribarry! You read magazine, you buy, round-eye!”

Here’s a slightly better photo of me, taken by Melanie at Dorian’s Hallowe’en party:

Photo: Joey deVilla as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.Photo: Joey deVilla as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.

And here’s one of Dorian and me at the same party:

Photo: Dorian Logan as a pirate and Joey deVilla as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.Photo: Dorian Logan as a pirate and Joey deVilla as 'The Keymaker' from 'The Matrix Reloaded'.

I think I look much better with the goatee — it appears that my face needs some kind of frame. Thankfully, it’ll grow back quickly. The photographic evidence above also explains why I never wear glasses anymore.

Perhaps I should direct your attention to entries with better photographs of me.

Joey deVilla

View Comments

  • Wow! I almost don't recognize you with a naked face. And I've only met you twice, in the same weekend! Hee.

    - The Redhead

  • Yeah i was wondering what was missing form your face. Actually it's not that glasses look bad on you, it's those frames.

  • Ah, the ugly glasses.

    They were an emergency purchase made in San Francisco in 1997. I'd broken my contact lens (I wear rigid gas-permeable lenses) and without corrective eyewear, I'm as blind as bat. I picked out that pair at the Lenscrafters on Market Street and actually got them within an hour of getting my prescription dteermined!

    I should probably get a new pair of stay-at-home reading glasses, seeing as that prescription is six years out of date.

  • "Carol Example" is one of my Blogware user alter-egos, which I use for examples in the Blogware help files. I forgot to log out as her.

    Carol has an sister named Alice and a brother named Bob.

  • i must mention that the shirt that i (dorian) am wearing is saggy...not a protruding tummy,

    thanks for coming by.

    D.

Recent Posts

I hope we’re as lucky as that Delta Jet

This one was too timely and too good to save for Sunday’s picdump, so I’m…

2 minutes ago

Editorial cartoon of the day, and a quick (but important) history lesson

Here’s a gem by Canadian editorial cartoonist Michael de Adder. I’m posting it here, because…

1 hour ago

The most “Florida” post on Reddit today

Wow — that’s pretty Florida. But it’s nice that other people get along with their…

1 day ago

A worrisome airline safety timeline

January 17, 2025 January 20, 2025 (Inauguration Day) January 22, 2025 January 29, 2025 January…

2 days ago

Sunday picdump for February 16, 2024

Another Sunday, another “picdump!” Here are 170+ memes, pictures, and cartoons floating around the internet…

4 days ago

Happy Valentine’s Day 2025!

Have a great Valentine’s Day, everybody.

5 days ago