[via Feeling Listless] Being Charlie Kaufman is a blog that is about Charlie Kaufman by not written by him. It’s also the home of the first draft of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,
in which the story starts 50 years in the future. Here’s the first bit,
which if you’ve seen the movie is drastically different…
INT. PUBLISHING HOUSE RECEPTION AREA - DAY
It's grand and modern. Random House-Knopf-Taschen is etched
on the wall in large gold letters. An old woman enters
carrying a tattered manuscript, maybe a thousand pages. She
seems haunted, hollow-eyed, sickly. The young receptionist,
dressed in a shiny, stretchy one-piece pantsuit, looks up.
RECEPTIONIST
Oh, hi.
OLD WOMAN
(apologetically)
Hi, I was in the neighborhood and thought
I'd see --
RECEPTIONIST
I think he's in a conference.
Unfortunately. I'm really sorry.
OLD WOMAN
Would you just try him? You never know.
As long as I'm here. You never know.
RECEPTIONIST
Of course. Please have a seat.
The old woman smiles and sits, the bulky manuscript on her
lap. She stares politely straight ahead.
RECEPTIONIST (CONT'D)
(quietly into headset)
It's her -- I know, but couldn't you just
-- Yes, I know, but -- I know, but she's
old and it would be a nice -- Yes, sorry.
(to old woman)
I'm sorry, ma'am, he's not in right now.
It's a crazy time of year for us.
The receptionist gestures toward a Christmas tree in the
corner. Its ornaments are holograms.
OLD WOMAN
This book -- It's essential that people
read it because --
(gravely, patting the
manuscript)
-- It's the truth. And only I know it.
RECEPTIONIST
(nodding sympathetically)
Maybe after the holidays then.
INT. TILED HALLWAY - DAY
The old woman carries her manuscript haltingly down a subway
hall. She stops to catch her breath, then continues and
passes several archway with letters printed above them. When
she arrives at one topped by an LL, she slips a card in a
slot. A plastic molded chair drops into the archway. She
sits in the chair; it rises.
INT. TUBE -DAY
The woman is still in the chair as it slips gracefully into a
line of chairs shooting through a glass tube. The other
chairs are peopled with commuters. We stay with the woman as
she and the others travel over New York City in the tube.
There are hundreds of these commuter tubes crisscrossing the
skyline. The woman glances at the manuscript in her lap.
It's called:
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This serves as the movie's opening title. The other credits
follow, as the old woman studies commuters in passing tubes.
Their faces are variously harsh and sad and lonely and blank.
INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY
SUBTITLED: FIFTY YEARS EARLIER
Every doctor's office waiting room: chairs against the wall,
magazines on end tables, a sad-looking potted plant, generic
seascape paintings on the walls. The receptionist, Mary, 25,
can be seen typing in the reception area. Behind her are
shelves and shelves of medical files. The door opens and
Clementine enters. She's in her early thirties, zaftig in a
faux fur winter coat over an orange hooded sweatshirt. She's
decidedly funky and has blue hair. Mary looks up.
MARY
May I help you?
CLEMENTINE
(approaching reception area)
Yeah, hi, I have a one o'clock with Dr.
Mierzwiak. Clementine Kruczynski.
MARY
Yes, please have a seat. He'll be right
with you.
There’s a good chance you’ve seen this photo by now: Pictured seated from left to…
Here’s a collection of interesting memes, pictures, an cartoons floating around the internet that I…
Tap to see the source. This is yesterday’s daily New Yorker cartoon, created by Brendan…
C’mon, let it not be Asians this time. Last time was pretty bad. Here’s the…
Jon Stewart’s right, and we’ve been here before. Where we are now, I’ve been before…