Categories
In the News

Funniest "Gay Cure" Ever

Although the methodology for various purported cures for “the gay” varies, the result they promise is the same: that you’ll go from this…

…to this:

Here’s a video of a CNN report featuring a gay cure [2.3MB QuickTime] promoted by one Richard Cohen, M.A.. The fact that those two letters constantly appear after his name on his books should be your first warning. In my experience, people who insist on adding their degree letters after their names — especially if that degree is a master of arts — are more often than not low-watt bulbs who either know how to work the systems of academia or went to sub-par universities.

Your second warning should be that the exercises he demonstrates are so pathetic that even emo kids will find them laughable. Pictured below is some hug therapy, meant to promote some non-sexual father-son style love that Cohen says is missing from gay men’s lives:


“After the hug session, we’re going to start an emo band called “Falling Down Stairs”. Click the picture to see the video.

We don’t move into truly hilarious territory until Cohen demonstrates “bio-energetics” therapy. The name alone should set off your bullshit detector, as should the fakety-fake pseudo-scientific rationale behind it: “to release memory stored in the muscles”. Cohen demonstrates it by taking a tennis racket and smacking a pillow repeatedly, screaming: “Mom! Mom! MOOOOOOOM! Why! Did you! Do that! To me!”.


Although it’s probably been about two decades since he moved out, Mommy remains the root of all his problems. Click the picture to see the video.

I have no idea how Paula Zahn kept a straight face through the interview. If it were me, I’d have taken the racket and started smacking Cohen: “Richard! Richard! RICHAAAARD! You! Are! Too stupid! To! Live!”

Categories
Uncategorized

Job Opportunities at Tucows

Have you got skills? If so, we’d like to talk to you.

If you’re just out of University and are looking for a hi-tech job, may I suggest Tucows? It’s a great place to work (I’ll have been here three years in July) and we’re looking for a few good people.

We’re looking for some Junior Application Developers. You’ll need to know Java and Perl and should probably be familiar with PHP. Our back end is based on Unix/Linux and Oracle, so you’ll have to be confortable with working in a Unix-y environment and SQL. You’ll be both developing new code following a design spec as well as maintaining and enhancing existing code, and you should know how to perform unit tests and work with CVS.

We’re looking for all sorts of people with other skills, too. If you’re looking for work at a company that’s great to work for, going through some very interesting changes and is thought to be one of the “good guys” in the tech world, come take a peek at our jobs page!

Categories
It Happened to Me Music Toronto (a.k.a. Accordion City)

Accordion City Musical Tidbits

Just a couple of quick tidbits:

  • Last night, I was part of a small group of bloggers who were invited to take a tour of the Four Seasons Centre, the new opera house at Queen and University. I’ll post a writeup before the grand opening on Sunday. I think the architects and designers did a great job in making the building unique and yet fitting it well with it surroundings — the very open design makes it feel as though it’s part of the surrounding city, which is important for a place devoted to an art form that is often perceived as cut off from the modern life.
  • It must’ve been some sort of musical milestone: on Monday at Carson’s karaoke night at The Social, I met another guy who plays rock and pop on an unconventional instrument — the bassoon! After he performed Madness’ big hit, Our House (a.k.a. the Maxwell House coffee song) with an excellent bassoon solo, I joined him for what was probably the first bassoon/accordion/karaoke treatment of Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. I imagine Robert Plant got chills down his spine at that exact moment and had no idea why.
Categories
In the News

"The Terrorist Next Door"

[via On the Face] Here’s one of those instances where a blogger happened to be “right there”: Ahmet of Thinking Blog lives across the street from one of the houses that was raided in Saturday’s arrest of suspected terrorists and took pictures.

In a later blog entry titled The Terrorist Next Door, Ahmet — a Muslim himself — writes that the Muslim community is going to have to do some soul-searching:

In this atmosphere of the self perpetual cycles of unexamined and unchallenged dogma, coupled with the predominant passive-aggressive mentality in addition to an entitlement mindset that is in a constant state of self imposed victimhood it becomes easy to lure young minds into thinking they can become instant heros/revolutionaries. An instant illusion of purpose, belonging, and mission.

In addition, contemporary Islamic ideology is in dire need of reform, and those of us who are capable of speaking out have to speak out or, as I repeatedly said in this blog, the terrorists will speak for us. The common polarized interpretation of Islam serves no one no good. I can’t deny that there are injustices that Muslims are on the receiving end of and that the West has a big role in that; but two wrongs can never make a right.

There are legal, legitimate, and honorable ways to fight injustice; terrorism is by no means one of them. You can’t take revenge on someone who killed your brother by killing his! It’s plain insanity, and out of the entire population of Muslims around the world, those who live in the West should understand this best, but the state of withdrawal and disengagement in which these Muslims live in within the “Walls of the West” plays directly into this.

To summarize, Muslims in the West have an approach towards the society in which they live that alienates them and creates a sense of artificial antagonism. This usually produces an identity problem for young Muslims who naturally need a sense of belonging. It is in this self imposed atmosphere of cultural hostility, in the middle of the Us vs. Them, that terror recruitment thrives.

The question now is: Who’s responsibility is it to engage these Muslims?

Categories
It Happened to Me

Re-Departmentalized

(This article also appears in Tucows Farm.)

Boss Ross walked up to me last Friday and said “Hey, Joe, do you remember back when you started working here, that you asked why developer relations fell under Research and Innovation and not Marketing?”

“Yeah…what about it?”

“Well, I didn’t have an answer then, but I do now!”

“Huh?”

“What would you say about switching departments? To Marketing?”

At this point, I would have expected a “chest-burster” alien to emerge from Ross and mangle me, after which I would wake up. This did not happen.

Noting my hesitation, he said “Would you have any objections to moving to Marketing?”

I was about to answer when he threw in a little addendum.

“Oh yeah,” he said, “and liking working for me is not a valid objection.”

Well, there goes my only objection.

One of the nicest things about my job is the autonomy. As long as I meet the goals in the Operational Plan that I drew up with Ross, I’ve got pretty much full discretionary power over what I do and how I meet my goals. That’s a latitude that many of us working stiffs don’t get, and that in itself is an amazing motivator and one of the reasons I love my job.

“As long as I get to do programmer things — talking to developers, writing tech stuff, doing some coding and ‘keeping my hands dirty’ in the techie sense — I can’t think of any real objection. And Ken’s [the VP of Marketing] a great guy.”

“Better go talk to him, then.”


One of the functions of the Research and Innovation department was to identify a need, come up a service to fill that need, do the research, build a prototype version (or buy an existing solution) and help it through the transition into a ready-for-prime-time offering for our customers. Once the service was declared a ready-for-prime-time product, it becomes part of our mainstream product line and is assigned to a product manager.

The way we develop new services has recently changed a little, so the description above doesn’t accurately describe the way we’ve been doing things since last year. However, it’s a reasonably accurate way of describinghow Tucows got into the domain name wholesaling business and how products like Blogware were developed.

It may also accurately describe my position of “Technical Community Development Coordinator”. The TC/DC position, as I like to call it, is essentially another Research and Innovation department project. My job position — essentially developer relations — is still new enough that the first conference on the it was held only this February. I consider it to be like a prototype product; it’s been incubating in Research and Innovation and is now ready for prime time.

So there you have it: as of next Monday, I’ll be fully insinuated into Tucows’ Marketing department, complete with a change of desks to the newer upstairs part of the office and a new boss: Ken Schafer, VP Marketing.

My job focus will remain the same: I’m the developer relations guy, which means making life easier for developers who build on the Tucows platform. I’ll still be making sure that the information and resources that developers need are out there, acting as a bridge between the developer community and Tucows and even cranking out some code. The bonus will be that I’ll have the marketing engine to back me up (and more swag to hand out, too). I’m looking forward to working with Ken, Jacqui, Adam and Scott.

I’ll miss working with Boss Ross, with whom I’ve worked since Bastille Day 2003. He’s the guy who suggested that the company hire me as the developer relations guy and has been a great guy to work with. I couldn’t have made my job what it is today without his help. Although I won’t be reporting to him anymore, I expect that we’ll still be collaborating from time to time on various projects, and I’ve already roped him into a podcast for later this summer.


Next: Oh crap, I work in…marketing!

Categories
Uncategorized

I Think I’d Rather Be Thrown Clear

Pictured above is a prototype of Yamaha’s advanced safety scooter, the ASV-3, at the Automotive Engineering Exposition in Yokohama, suburban Tokyo. One of the safety features is a multi-chambered air bag which opens from under the seat. I suppose that your seating position on the bike is of paramount importance; if you’re a little too close to the airbag when it deploys…ouch.

Categories
It Happened to Me

Get Well Soon, David!


Me and David Crow, pictured at the Rails Pub Night in April.

At the last DemoCamp gathering, I thought the biggest glitch was the cantankerous projector in the conference room; that night, it often refused to display what was on the presenter’s laptops. I was wrong: the biggest glitch happened to David Crow.

About twenty minutes prior to the start of the event, it was becoming quite obvious that David wasn’t looking or feeling well. Jay Goldman and I offered to take over the hosting duties.

“You’re not looking so hot,” I remember saying, “Maybe you should go home.”

“I’m thinking more like going to the emergency room,” he said.

“Shit,” I replied, noting that he was beginning to look really flushed. “Someone should go with you.”

Sutha Kamal went with David to the ER, while Jay Goldman and I took over and MC’d the event.

Later that evening, Jay got a call from Sutha and relayed the message to me.

“It was a heart attack,” he said. “He’s all right, but — wow. A heart attack.”

As you can see from the photo above, David doesn’t look like your typical cardiac ward case: he’s young (a relative puppy at 32) and he’s not obese. He neither smokes nor partakes of the Devil’s Dandruff. He doesn’t have a strong family history of heart disease. In the end, although you can mitigate some of the risk factors, there’s always a mathematical chance that you’ll have a heart attack. The best you can do is do what you can to improve your odds and hope that you’re near help should your number come up. As unfortunate that David was for having a heart attack, he was also fortunate for being spitting distance from the row of hospitals on University Avenue.

David’s doing much better now — at least well enough to write a quick blog entry about the experience, complete with ultrasound pictures — and I’m glad. On behalf of myself, Wendy, all your DemoCamp friends and Tucows, we wish you a speedy recovery, David!

(And yes, David, we’ll drop by. Wendy and I have a get-well present for you, and by the power vested in me as Tucows’ developer relations guy, we’ve got a gift for you on behalf of the company to boot!)