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It Happened to Me

Blood, Sweat and Tea

Cover to Tom Reynolds' book, 'Blood, Sweat and Tea'.

Here’s something I’d been meaning to blog for a while now: Tom Reynolds, a Blogware user whom I met through blogging, has got a book coming out titled Blood, Sweat and Tea. It’s based on his blog, Random Acts of Reality, which chronicles his experiences as an ambluance driver in the London Ambulance Service.

Tom’s a sweet guy — it comes through in his writing, and even more so when you meet him in person (he flew from London to Accordion City to attend my birthday/engagement party in November 2004). Do youself a favour and go check out his blog and buy his book!

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Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence

Wikipedia parade celebrating 750 years on American Independence on July 25th.

In The Onion article titled Wikipedia Celebrates 750 Years Of American Independence: “At 750 years, the U.S. is by far the world’s oldest surviving democracy, and is certainly deserving of our recognition,” [Wikipedia founder Jimmy] Wales said. “According to our database, that’s 212 years older than the Eiffel Tower, 347 years older than the earliest-known woolly-mammoth fossil, and a full 493 years older than the microwave oven.”

Super Geek Bonus Fact

The article makes reference to the Treaty of Algeron. If you’ve never heard of it, that’s because it’s fictional. It’s a treaty mentioned in Star Trek: The Next Generation that formalized a peace between the United Federation of Planets and the Romulan Star Empire. Among other things, it stipulated that the Federation would not pursue the development of cloaking device technology for its ships.

The scary thing: I knew that without having to look it up.

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Blogging with the Whales

Photo of whale tail from Quoddy Link marine's blog, 'Sightings and Updates'.

Over at the internet marketing blog One Degree, Accordion City-based online business guru Bill Sweetman writes about how a non-computer, non-tech, non-internet business is making use of a corporate blog. The article, titled Blogging with the Whales, covers the blog run by a New Brunswick company that offers whale-watching cruises. Bill writes:

The blog is maintained by Danielle, a marine biology graduate in charge of photographing, identifying and recording the whales and sharing that information with various marine research organizations. Danielle’s blog chronicles through words and photos (by Danielle) the recent whale sightings and had been updated earlier the day I first looked at the blog with photos of whales that had been spotted that morning.

I was immediately captivated by the near-immediacy of this information and the fact it chronicled the spontaneous nature of whale watching. The “Sightings and Updates” blog also demonstrated to me that Quoddy Link Marine really cared about whales and the environment, not just selling whale tour tickets. Thanks to their blog, I also felt one degree closer to the people behind this tour company than with those from any of their competitors.

If you’re wondering if having a corporate blog can help your company attract new business, you might want to read the article.

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In the News Music

Happy Worm-a-Versary!

Today, July 26th, is an anniversary for two men who are infamous for unleashing their worms upon an unsuspecting world. Thanks to Dave “Dave’s Picks” Polaschek and his blog for the reminder!

Robert Tappan Morris Jr.

Robert Tappan Morris, Jr.

First, it’s the anniversary of the indictment of Robert Tappan Morris. Those of us who make a living off the internet will instantly recognize the name: he’s the author of the Morrris Worm, one of the first computer worms to porpagate via the Internet and probably the first to gain attention in the mainstream media.

Computer worms are self-contained self-replicating programs; unlike computer viruses, they do not need a “host” program to attach to. Although the worm functions by taking advantage of some design flaws in the Unix operatin systems of the era — late 1988 — Morris claimes that he wrote it for a benign purpose: to gauge the size of the internet at the time. However, do to a flaw in the design of the worm’s self-replication mechanism, it made too many copies of itself and slowed a significant number of machines on the internet to a crawl.

Morris was indicted under the Computer Abuse and Fraud Act of 1986 on this day in 1989 and convicted in 1990. He was sentenced to three years of probation, 400 hours of community service and fined US$10,000. Morris did well for himself later on, helping to create an application that Yahoo! would buy and turn into Yahoo! Store, get his Ph.D. from Harvard, become a professor at MIT and found the techie venture capital firm Y Combinator.

Paul “Pee-Wee Herman” Reubens (nee Rubenfeld)

Pee-Wee Herman's mug shot.

It’s also the anniversary of the arrest of Paul “Pee-Wee Herman” Reubens, who exposed a worm of a different sort. On July 26, 1991, he was arrested in Sarasota, Florida for masturbating in public in a porn theatre (the movie is supposed to have been Nurse Nancy). He negotiated his punishment down to a fine and some public service announcements.

Song of the Day

In honour of this momentous anniversary, I present you with the Divinyls’ song I Touch Myself [3.3MB MP3], as performed by the Scala Girls Choir. Where the hell were these girls when I was in Catholic high school?

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In the News

I’m Quiz Kid Ken Jennings and I Have a Lot of Tough Love to Give

Ken Jennings, the winningest contestant on Jeopardy!, gaves the show a little tough love on his blog, saying that it needs a serious reworking.

For starters, it just doesn’t mesh with his meat-and-potatoes, guy-from-Utah values:

First up, the categories. Maybe when Art Fleming was alive, America just couldn’t get enough clues about “Botany” and “Ballet” and “The Renaissance,” but come on. Does every freaking category have to be some effete left-coast crap nobody’s heard of, like “Opera,” or, um, “U.S. History” or whatever? I mean, wake me up when you come up with something that middle America actually cares about. I think it would rule if, just one time, Alex had to read off a board like:

  • PlayStation
  • The Arby’s 5-for-$5.95 Value Menu
  • Reality TV
  • Men’s Magazines
  • Skanks from Reality TV Who Got Naked in Men’s Magazines
  • Potpourri

He also brings up the issue of “sound body, sound mind”:

…why are there no physical challenges? It doesn’t have to be Nickelodeon déclassé, buckets of green ooze falling from the ceiling. It could be tasteful and restrained. Like, if you know the answer, you have to run from your podium to the gameboard, jump up to touch the clue in question, and give the answer. “What is an Arby-Q?” Then you run back to your podium to select again. Some of these contestants, frankly, could use the exercise. Oh, also, there are angry bees.

And finally, he addresses the really big issue: that Alex Trebek is in fact, an android:

Finally, Alex. I know, I know, the old folks love him. Nobody knows he died in that fiery truck crash a few years back and was immediately replaced with the Trebektron 4000 (I see your engineers still can’t get the mustache right, by the way.)

Whether you agree with him and think that Jeopardy! is an aging show relevant only to old-fart left coast effetes or think that these are the rants of an ungrateful Mormon version of Quiz Kid Donnie Smith with delusions of becoming a Scott Adams for the Flyover Country set, “Ken Jen’s” polemic is a funny read.

Related Reads

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The Knack and Persistence

This entry appears in Tucows Farm. I wrote it after getting a few email responses to an entry titled Separating Programming Sheep from Non-Programming Goats, which referenced a paper covering a study whose results suggested that programming was at least in part an innate skill — that is, some people just can’t be taught to program.


The first few episodes of any season of American Idol, Canadian Idol or any other country-specific version of Pop Idol are devoted to auditions. These are by far the most entertaining, as they feature the most variety; you’ll see gifted singers and incredibly tone-deaf people in the same show. There always comes a point where the acerbic judge (in the case of American Idol, it’s Simon Cowell; for Canadian Idol, it’s Zack Werner) has to break the awful truth to the less-gifted hopefuls: no amount of training practice will ever make them a singer. There may be times when we think that the judge was overly cruel in his criticism, but aside from a few delusional contestants and those of us in the audience with a strong sense of empathy, most us concur with the judges: some people just don’t have the knack. Most of us accept that, not just for singing or even musicianship, but for areas such as athletics, artistry, physical beauty and the like.

However, for things that are based on intellect, there seems to be some resistance to the idea that some people have the knack for them while others don’t. Perhaps it’s because of the sense of egalitarianism upon which our society is based: the law regards us not as bodies, but as beings — it doesn’t matter what physical blessings one has, but what one has done. Maybe it’s because there’s no shortage of examples of people who aren’t all that bright who do well in school and people who are brilliant but get poor marks because going through the education system is often a boring, stultifying experience. Maybe Calvin Coolidge, president of the United States from 1923 to 1929, is to blame, as he once said:

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination are omnipotent. The slogan ‘press on’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.

I’ve been emailed by a couple of people who have expressed concern that I’m some kind of elitist because I posted a link to the paper The Camel has Two Humps [296K PDF], which covers research that suggests that programming skill is at least in part innate. Some people just can’t do it.

Personally, I think elitism’s got a bit of a bad rap lately.

I think that there’s good elitism and bad elitism. Elitism is good when it’s used to find the best-of-breed in any field and apply that skill to some practical use. It’s bad when it’s simply used to grant unwarranted privileges to a group. For more on this sort of thinking, I recommend checking out Paul Graham’s presentation titled The Power of the Marginal, in which he talks about “good tests” and “bad tests” (or better still, watch the video of the presentation).

There is a considerable amount of research out there that suggests that out of all the programmers, there are only a few superstars. I concur — you do need some kind of knack for programming, some kind of combination of smarts and just being “wired that way”. Why this is surprising is in itself surprising; we don’t seem to be taken aback that there are only a handful of Olympic-class athletes or musical virtuosos. Reg Braithwaite has blogged about this at length — be sure to check out this entry and this entry of his.

If there is any consolation to those of us who aren’t programming superstars — hey, I’m not one by any stretch of the imagination — it’s that there’s more to software development than just code-monkeying. I know one guy who’s a stunning C coder who can write code that requires more mental gymnastics than I’m willing or able to do. He wrote what I think could be one of the most powerful video-editing applications out there, with a level of control over video data that I haven’t seen, even in dedicated Avid suites. The problem is that his user interface is a nightmare of sliders and other UI geegaws — I’ve never seen a Windows application more cluttered with controls than his. He may be a crack coder, but as an application designer, he’s downright terrible.

Calvin Coolidge is right: there’s also something to be said for having tenacity and a work ethic. I know a Lisp programmer who specialized in security (although there’s an incident that makes me question his skill in that field) — a former housemate of mine — who constantly belittled me for being a Visual Basic programmer. During the deflation of the bubble, this “superior” programmer sat around my house and built a large debt to me for back rent, groceries, utilities and the largest domestic phone bill I’d ever seen. He never produced a line of code outside of a cluster of never-to-be-finished hobby projects — software chindogu, as far as I was concerned. In the meantime, I took on client work in VB, doing dumb old database work that functions to this day, processing refugee applications for the Government of Canada. Hey Lisp guy: you still owe me a lot of back rent. Pay up and, as you might might say: kiss my cdr.

Another thing to remember is that virtuosity isn’t a guarantee that what you’ll produce is good; it just improves the odds. Consider the group Toto: a group comprised entirely of the best studio session musicians out there, each one a virtuoso on his chosen instruments. Too bad their output is just awful. On the other hand, consider the Violent Femmes: they’re competent musicians, but not virtuosos, and vocalist Gordon Gano sings with an adenoidal yawp, but they ended up producing their eponymous album, one of my favourite albums of all time.

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An "Iron Man" Movie?

In recent years, they’ve made movies of various Marvel Comics superheroes: Spider-Man, the X-Men, Daredevil, Elektra, the Incredible Hulk, Fantastic Four and Ghost Rider (am I missing any?). But there’s one who’s been waiting in the wings for some time: the superhero for hard-drinkin’ engineers, Iron Man!

Now he’s getting a movie, as this teaser poster indicates:

Teaser poster for 'Iron Man' movie.

The movie’s director, Jon “Swingers” Favreau, has started a MySpace group in which fans can discuss the movie and tell him what they’d like to see. Personally, I’d like to see me as the bad guy: Iron Man’s arch-enemy, The Mandarin! Except instead of ten rings with ten powers:

  • Left Pinkie — “Ice Blast,” with which he could encase foes in bands of ice or create walls of ice to block pursuers.
  • Left Ring Finger — “Mento-Intensifier,” which amplifies the Mandarin’s own mental energies and allows him to control the minds of others.
  • Left Middle Finger — “Electro Blast,” unleashing powerful lightning-like bolts.
  • Left Index Finger — “Flame Blast,” a flamethrower-like gout of flame.
  • Left Thumb — “White Light,” a laser-like beam.
  • Right Thumb — “Matter Rearranger,” which can rearrange the atoms and molecules of a substance. The Mandarin usually uses this ring to change the shape of objects, such as causing a giant stone hand to erupt out of the earth and grapple a foe. He has, however, used it to transmute the molecular composition of objects, such as changing the air around a target into a poisonous gas.
  • Right Index Finger — “Impact Beam,” a blast of concussive or gravitational force.
  • Right Middle Finger — “Vortex Beam,” allows Mandarin to control air and wind, allowing him to fly.
  • Right Ring Finger — “Disintegration Beam.” Unlike the others, this Ring requires a twenty minute recharge time between firings.
  • Right Pinkie — “Black Light,” which can create areas of absolute blackness.

…I’d just use ten accordion buttons.

Big thanks to RoninKengo for pointing out this poster!