Month: July 2006

(The links in this article are slightly racy, so be warned.)

In the comments for the entry titled Exciting New Doritos Flavour!, a commenter going by the name of “manfire” explains that these characters (in the right column of Japanese writing on the Doritos bag pictured to the right):

read as denki anma.

As “manfire” says and a little Googling confirms, “denki anma” translates roughly as “a crotch noogie done with the foot” and it seems to be popular in the strange world of porn from the Land of the Rising Tentacle.

Doing a search for the term “denki anma” is an act for the brave, as it will lead you to many disturbing sites with even more disturbing imagery. Here’s one of the tamer images I found; I find it oddly reminiscent of the customer service at the Bell Mobility store at the Eaton Centre:

I still have no idea what those Doritos taste like.

Jason Kottke recently linked to a poem by Joan Murray about the old white-guy-voting-Republican demographic, titled We Old Dudes:

We old dudes. We

White shoes. We

Golf ball. We

Eat mall. We

Soak teeth. We

Palm Beach; We

Vote red. We

Soon dead.

…and I thought: Wait a minute. That sounds familiar. A little Googling for a half-remembered line of poetry from a high school English textbook got me the poem I wanted, Gwendolyn Brooks’ We Real Cool. It’s about pool-playing dropouts, often presumed to be black and from Chicago, like Brooks herself:

We real cool. We

Left school. We

Lurk late. We

Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We

Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We

Die soon.

…and then I thought that maybe Asian dudes like myself might be feeling a little bit left out, so I decided to compose this poem just for us — We Real Smart:

We real smart. We

Science, not art. We

Not on TV. We

Hack Ruby. We

Eat rice. We

Polite and nice. We

No fool. We

Soon rule.

(While writing the poem, I discovered that the English language doesn’t have enough rhymes for “black Honda Civic“.)

The deadline for requests for squshy cows has passed. I’m afraid that due to demand, I can’t fulfill any more requests, but keep in mind that this won’t be the last time we have such an offer!

Thanks to everyone who participated — your cows will be in the mail soon!

Due to the demand for squishy cows (see this entry), I have to impose a deadline. If you want me to send you a squishy cow free of charge, you must:

• Email me your mailing address before 12:00 a.m. Eastern (GMT – 4), Wednesday, July 12, 2006
• Promise to take a picture of the squishy cow in some interesting locale and post it online

Hurry up, because the clock is ticking!

Never mind “Cool Ranch” or “Black Pepper Jack” Doritos — all the cool kids eat “Swift Kick to the ‘Nads” Doritos!

But seriously, if any of you can read Japanese or know what’s going on with the packaging, please leave a note in the comments and explain what’s happening here.

[Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele]

At Saturday night’s exclusive-to-bloggers gathering where we got to have a one-on-one with David Cronenberg, guest curator for the Andy Warhol “Supernova” exhibit, Rannie “Photojunkie” Turingan took this photo which captures Cronenberg at his Cronenbergiest. I couldn’t help adding a caption:

A deliciously eeeevil photo of David Cronenberg, taken by Rannie “Photojunkie” Turingan. Click the photo to see it on Rannie’s blog.