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The Worst Yom Kippur Card Ever [Updated]

I was going to make Yom Kippur cheeseburgers for my Jewish coworkers on the company barbecue, but it looks like they’ve all taken a sick day today. What the hell?

But Seriously, Folks…

Yom Kippur is the Jewish day of atonement and the most solemn day in the Jewish calendar, marked by fasting and . As such, it’s a little inappropriate to say “Happy Yom Kippur!”; it’s kind of like saying “Happy Remembrance Day!”. Better by far to say something along the lines of “Hope your fast passes easily”.

DeepestFeelings.com: Unclear on the Concept

The meaning of Yom Kippur seems to have eluded the e-greeting card site DeepestFeelings.com. As a greeting card site, they really should know better. This gem is among their Yom Kippur cards:

If you think that’s where the cultural gaffe ends, you’d be wrong. That’s because DeepestFeelings.com also lets you include music with your “Happy Yom Kippur” greeting card. Here are the choices available:

Not only can I send my in-laws a nice “Happy Yom Kippur” card, but I can send them happy holiday music too! Now, which one should I send — Du Hast, the big 1998 hit by German industrial rock band Rammstein (most of whose lines translate from German as “You…You hate…You hate me!”), or J.S. Bach’s Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring, quite possibly one of the best classical pieces about Jesus ever written (and ooh, covered by Josh Groban!)? Decisions, decisions…

UPDATE: “Du hast” translates as “You have”; the lyrics page I link to misinterpreted it as “You hate”, which in German is “Du hasst”; note the extra “s”.

(By the bye, can anyone tell me if there is an occasion when Du Hast is a appropriate greeting card music?)

Hey, today’s about atonement. I’ll use Johnny B. Goode!

Joey deVilla

View Comments

  • Just a quick comment on the "Du hast" note: It's not "You hate", though it could be understood as such. "You hate" would be "Du hasst", but in actual fact the song translates as "You have", ending in "Du hast mich", which translates to "You have me". CAN be heard as "You hate me", but the german lyrics are quite clear :)

  • That's what I thought -- "You have me" -- but then I checked this lyrics page, which led me to believe that it's "You hate me". I mean, those are what the lyrics would've been had Du Hast been a Nine Inch Nails song...

    I'll update the entry.

  • Hey brother Joe,
    So, would a 'Yom Kippur Bouquet' also qualify as inappropriate? Have fasting and flowers always gone together?
    I came across such a treat this past weekend while shopping at the local Jewel Osco with Les. It was next to the 'Mexican Heritage Bouquet' [?!] in the grocery store's flower section.

  • There's an after-fast meal that's supposed to be festive, so flowers would be appropriate then.

  • Well, you're supposed to think it means "You hate", that's why they're taking their time 'til they sing a full sentence. (BTW, worst translation ever. There were no English classes in East Germany...) If Hallmark ever makes a card where you re-state the fact that you rejected a marriage proposal, that would be the theme song...

    I'd just like to add that with sufficient amounts of weed, a connection between Hotel California and Yom Kippur could be found. Then again, with sufficient amounts _anything_ can be connected with Hotel California...

  • Actually the way it IS sung makes it clear that it isn't clear. I agree that the written lyrics are a different thing and they are clear, but I would bet that Rammstein on Purpose fiddeled a bit with the double meaning of the words.

  • > As such, it's a little inappropriate to say "Happy Yom Kippur!"

    I prefer, "I wish you a sentiment appropriate to whatever holiday you are observing, in whichever religion that is. Please don't hurt me."

    This may be delievered to followers of any religion.

  • Actually, just to add a bit more confusion, we have the Wikipedia entry which states that the band's english translation was a non-literal translation. So the band is fucking with us too! :)

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