Categories: Uncategorized

Chuck Norris Identifies the One Man Who Can Kick His Ass

Chuck Norris has been riding a wave of fame recently thanks to the “Chuck Norris Facts” meme that’s been floating around the ‘net for the past little while. He’s parleyed it into appearances on talk shows, and now he’s got a columnist gig over at the WorldNetDaily, the online rag that’s so right-wingnut that even most conservatives treat it like a Weekly World News (Current headline, I kid you not: “Bigfoot tracks indicate salsa lessons”).

In his inaugural column, Chuck wants to set the record straight about the powers and abilities that people claim he has:

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact:“Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.”

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris’ tears, it’s Jesus’ blood.

Apparently, he doesn’t buy into that evolution thing, either.

After reading the article, I was inspired to create the graphic below, which depicts the man who not only can kick Chuck’s ass, but afterwards can turn water into a cold refreshing post-ass-kicking brewski:


Click the picture for a full-size kick-ass Messiah.

Joey deVilla

View Comments

  • Very nice graphic but can you give credit to its source -- Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter? It's one of the few film gems that this country has produced in recent years

Recent Posts

Let the ritual humilation begin!

There’s a good chance you’ve seen this photo by now: Pictured seated from left to…

13 hours ago

Sunday picdump for November 17, 2024

Here’s a collection of interesting memes, pictures, an cartoons floating around the internet that I…

2 days ago

U.S. post-election post #7: Don’t worry, it’ll trickle down…

Tap to see the source. This is yesterday’s daily New Yorker cartoon, created by Brendan…

1 week ago

U.S. post-election post #6: One key election is still undecided…

C’mon, let it not be Asians this time. Last time was pretty bad. Here’s the…

1 week ago

U.S. post-election post #5: Come bend the arc with me!

Jon Stewart’s right, and we’ve been here before. Where we are now, I’ve been before…

1 week ago