Help Penny Whistleton Get Into Professional Wrestling School!

If you like to get out and about here in Accordion City, you might have heard of my friend Penny Whistleton. She’s a notable burlesque artiste, rock and roll promoter extraordinaire and entertainer-about-town. You may have caught one of her burlesque acts or vaudeville numbers at one of this city’s countless burlesque shows, or perhaps you ogled her pictures from my Great Birthday Hot Tub Party of ’03 (some pictures might not be safe for work; a sample of one of the racier pictures is on the right).

Penny has decided that it’s high time she followed her dream: she wants to become a professional wrestler.

Those of you who know me well have probably long suspected that I am a long-time supporter of women’s wrestling, and you would be correct in your suspicion. That is why I am encouraging you, Gentle Readers, to come to the Cadillac Lounge (1296 Queen Street West, a couple of blocks west of Dufferin) next Wednesday, April 18th, to attend “The Kickass Ass-kicking Fundraiser”. The money raised at this event will go towards Penny’s tuition at professional wrestling school.

Penny says:

That’s right, kids, I’m finally doing it for real, I’m gonna go become a

pro-wrestler! But first I have to get money to pay for training (which is

pretty darn expensive) so I thought, “what the heck, lets make the money by

doing what I do best and putting on a killer show!”

We’re gonna have raffle prizes, and a Silent auction including some great

artwork, tattoo gift certificates, a pin-up photo shoot session, an

apperance by Mysterion at your next event or party, and a custom-made for

you lucha mask!

And not only that but Wolfman and I have some pretty big surprises planned

that you’ wrestling smarks will lose your minds over, and everyone will

love!

It’s also going to be my Semi-official 25th b-day party!!

Among the acts appearing at the show will be (note — some of the links might not be safe for work):

• That most hirsute of masters of ceremonies, The Wolfman!
• Live performances by these bands:
  • Tripping Hazard
  • The Z-Rays
  • The Famous Monsters
• Mentalist, illusionist and guy who like to drive nails up his nose, Mysterion the Mind Reader
• Human pincusion Kayla Pin Lynn
• Burlesque performances by
  • Penny Whistleton (of course!)
  • Ginger Wilde
  • Miss Mittins
  • Contortionist Pyrate Paradox
  • Miranda Askew
  • Virginia D’Vine
• Tattoo artist Jimmi Hellbent
• Beau Monde Photography
• Artist Anthony Brennan
• Artist Jen Hall (lead singer/guitarist/songwriter for Tripping Hazard)

Cover for the show is a mere $10. Catch the show, get entertainment you can’t get on TV and come help launch the career of a professional wrestler!