“London Underground”

I should’ve posted this video during the recent (and blessedly short-lived) transit strike here in Accordion City, but I remembered it just now. It’s London Underground, a musical rant about Jollie Olde London’s subway system, performed by the team of Adam Kay and Suman Biswas, known as Amateur Transplants. Be advised, it’s pretty sweary:

Here are the lyrics:

Some people might like to get a train to work
Or drive in in a Beemer or a Merc,
Some guys like to travel in by bus,
But I can’t be bothered with the fuss today
I’m going to take my bike,
Coz once again the Tube’s on strike.
The greedy bastards want extra pay
for sitting on their arse all day
even though they earn 30K.
So I’m standing here in the pouring rain,
Where the fuck’s my fucking train?

London Underground
London Underground
They’re all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground
London Underground
They’re all greedy cunts I want to shoot them all with a rifle.

All they say is “Please mind the doors”,
and they learned that on the two day course,
This job could be done by a four year old.
They just leave us freezing in the cold.
What you smell is what you get
Burger King and piss and sweat
You roast to death in the boiling heat,
With tourists treading on your feet
and chewing gum on every seat,
so don’t tell me to “Mind the gap”
I want my fucking money back.

London Underground
London Underground
They’re all lazy fucking useless cunts
London Underground
London Underground
They’re all greedy cunts I want to shoot them all with a rifle
La la la la
La la la la

The floors are sticky and the seats are damp,
Every platform has a fucking tramp,
But the drivers get the day off when we’re all late for work again,

London Underground
London Underground
Wah-wah-wankers! They’re all wankers!
London Underground
London Underground

Take your Oyster Card, and shove it up your arsehole.

If the TTC go on strike again, I’ll write and record a Toronto version.

Here are Amateur Transplants performing London Underground live. I love how in this version they’ve replaced the line “chewing gum on every seat” with “nailbombs on every seat”:

If the Tune Sounds Familiar…

If London Underground gave you a certain feeling of musical deja vu, that’s because Adam and Suman borrowed the tune from Going Underground by legendary late-70’s/early-80’s Brit band The Jam. This tune as well as another hit by the Jam, A Town Called Malice, are part of the soundtrack of my youth.

Here’s the video for Going Underground: