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b5media is Looking for Contract PHP/MySQL Developers

PHP, MySQL and WordPress developers wanted at b5media

[This was also posted to Global Nerdy.]

Attention Toronto-area developers! If you’ve got good PHP/MySQL chops (having a little experience building WordPress templates and plugins would be a bonus, but not absolutely necessary), perhaps you’d like to do a little contract work for my company, b5media. Our regular programming staff has its hands full with our core projects, so I’m using my authority as the company’s Nerd Wrangler (a.k.a. Technical Project Manager) to cast a net for local developers who’d like to work on a project or two.

I can’t go into details here on the blog — here’s what I can tell you:

  • We’re a network of about 300 or so blogs and our revenue is based on advertising, which in turn is based on our readership.
  • Our blogs are based on WordPress. Mark Jaquith, one of our programmers, is a WordPress core developer. As you may have already reasoned out, our stuff is based on MySQL and PHP.
  • I have a couple of projects:
    • A WordPress-based promo site using a customized template and featuring some custom widgets and plugins, and
    • An ecommerce site that makes it easy for people to purchase ads on our blogs

If you’re picked to do the job, you’ll be working from a pretty complete spec written by someone who understands both the business and technical sides of the job: me! You’ll also be reporting to me, and I’m told that I’m a pretty good guy to work with.

There’s something to be said for face-to-face meetings and being able to walk up to the project lead and ask questions, so we’d rather hire a developer in town.

Interested? Drop me a line at my work email address — joey@b5media.com — and I’ll be happy to tell you more.

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Internet Memes Timeline

[This was also posted to Global Nerdy.]

Internet Meme Timeline

Feeling nostalgic for “Ate My Balls”, “I Kiss You” or “All Your Base are Belong to Us”? The Internet Memes Timeline’s got the cure for that.

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And Now, Nigella Lawson

Two of the most popular articles on Accordion Guy are the ones featuring Food Network chef Giada di Laurentiis: the inspirational poster parody and the Esquire photo. Every now and again, I get asked if I’ll post more sexy chef photos. To those people, I say: today’s your lucky day!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, Nigella Lawson

Nigella Lawson in a blue dress at the \"Golden Age of Couture\" show
Photo from ExpoSay.

Nigella Lawson in a blue halter dress, seated in a car
Red Alert! Containment failure imminent!

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The Shirt Collar That Tries Too Hard

When wearing a nice tie, it has never occurred to me that a lot of it goes hidden under my shirt collar. Luckily, an enterprising (and probably insecure) fashion genius has come up with a shirt with a “woven collar” that exposes more of your expensive neckwear to the world:

Newspaper ad for the \"Original Woven Collar Shirt\"
Picture courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

If you’re the sort of man who feels the need to put a spoiler on the Honda he uses for his daily commute, this is the shirt for you!

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Sayonara, Cassettes

[This article was also posted on Global Nerdy.]

Pictured below is the death spasm of a recording format: the compact cassette (a.k.a. “cassette tape”), sitting on the bargain shelf at a drugstore somewhere in the U.S., its price reduced so that it’s one of the cheapest items in the store. Even gum is probably more expensive:

Maxell cassette tapes on sale

Here’s another death spasm: an invitation for a farewell party for the cassette held by the book publishing company Hachette, pictured below. Audiobooks were the cassette’s last domain, but in the age of the iPod and phones that double as MP3 players, they had become obsolete:

Hachette\'s invitation to a farewell party for the compact cassette
Image from the New York Times.
Click it to see the source story.


In the first half of the 1980s, the music formats available to a teenager were vinyl records and cassette tape (formally known in the industry as “compact cassette”). CDs hit the market in late 1982, but the first pressings were mostly of classical music and cost anywhere from $20 – $35, well out of the reach of most teenagers (remember, these are 1980s dollars!).

Vinyl was far cheaper: if you were smart and shopped downtown (as opposed to the record stores in the malls, where the prices were $2 – $5 higher), domestic albums sold for about $8 – $12 and imports, special releases and double albums went for about $12 – $18. They didn’t have the signal-to-noise ratio that CDs had, but on a good turntable on a half-decent sound system, you got better sound than a lot of downsampled MP3s playing on the budget speakers that came free with your computer.

Diagram showing the internals of a compact cassette
The internals of a compact cassette.

At the bottom of the hi-fi spectrum is the compact cassette. A clunky storage medium, it was often “hissy”, with a signal-to-noise ratio equivalent to listening to a jazz band in a small club while sitting near the air conditioner. The tape was prone to stretching from the stresses involved in both normal playback and more so with fast-forwarding and rewinding, especially in the case of the C120 (120 minute) cassette, whose tape had to be made thinner so that its reel would still fit inside the shell. Finally, there was its mechanical nature: it had actual moving parts whose quality would have a direct impact on your sound. A cheap shell, a wobbly reel, a misaligned guide roller or any combination thereof could make it sound worse.

In spite of all these disadvantages, it became an incredibly popular format. Cassettes were portable and handled jostling well, which made them perfect for car audio and the Walkman. They also represented the first time that most people could create what we now take for granted in the age of digital audio: the customized playlist in the form of the mix tape. If you were dating in the ’80s, making a mix tape was an important courtship ritual:

\"Breakup Girl\" on mix tapes
From the Breakup Girl comic, Mixed Messages.
Click the image to read the full comic.

Mix tapes didn’t make everyone happy: the record companies became quite concerned about people passing around copies of their music or making copies of their music for their car or Walkman and put up some campaigns to stop home taping, including the infamous “Home Taping is Killing Music” promotion:

Home taping is killing music
History proved this was a lie.

By the way, it turned out to be a lie, as the music industry boomed as home taping blossomed, and home taping for personal use is not illegal; it’s fair use.

For a while, sales of albums in cassette form surpassed those on vinyl or CD. The lesson to be learned from this is the same one that the MP3 format taught us: in spite of what the audiophiles will tell you, versatility and convenience trumps sound quality.

In the days before MP3s and MySpace, before CD-burning was available to the masses, the cassette was the only economical way for a small band to get their music into their audience’s hands. A number of bands got their start this way; one famous local example was the Barenaked Ladies’ “Yellow Tape”, pictured below, which many fans say featured better performances than those on the CD that followed after they got the record deal:

The Barenaked Ladies\' \"Yellow Tape\"
Now a collector’s item.

Finally there’s a way I used cassettes that you may have never encountered: as a storage medium for computer data. Back in the late 70s and early 80s, before 5 1/4″ floppy drives became cheap and ubiquitous, it was the preferred way to store your home computer’s programs and data. Even the original IBM PC used them:

Commodore \"datasette\" cassette recorder and \"computer\" cassettes
Slow but reliable: cassette tapes as computer data storage medium. Some synthesizers of the era also used cassette tape for data storage.

(Somewhere in my parents’ basement sits a pile of cassettes holding my high school programming assignments written on Waterloo Structured BASIC for the Commodore PET. I’m curious to see what the programs I wrote back then look like.)


I don’t miss the cassette: I rather like a world where my music is in digital form and moves frictionlessly from my iPod to my computer to my USB key and across the net (and sometimes onto my camera chip when there’s no other place to store it). I haven’t owned a cassette player in about 8 years — come to think of it, I don’t even own a stand-alone CD Player anymore. Still, I feel I should pay tribute to that clunky mechanical piece of tech that served me so well in my youth.

Maybe I’ll pick up that USB key that comes in mix tape-inspired packaging:

\"Mix Tape\" USB key

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Accordion City in Forbes’ “World’s Most Economically Powerful Cities”

Toronto at night

Accordion City has made Forbes’ list of the World’s Most Economically Powerful Cities list, which goes like this:

  1. London
  2. Hong Kong
  3. New York
  4. Tokyo
  5. Chicago
  6. Seoul
  7. Paris
  8. Los Angeles
  9. Shanghai
  10. Accordion City (sometimes known as “Toronto”)

Here’s what Forbes has to say:

  • GDP (2005): $209 billion
  • GDP (2020): $327 billion
  • Growth rate: 3%
  • MasterCard ranking: 13
  • Population (2007): 5,213,000
  • Purchasing power (NYC=100): 113.8%

Toronto only narrowly edged out Madrid, Spain; Philadelphia and Mexico City, Mexico, to hang on at No. 10. Toronto is still the economic heart of one of the world’s wealthiest countries, and it’s projected to keep humming through 2020. Along with London, Toronto is the fastest growing G7 financial center.

For more on the Forbes piece, see their article as well as the commentary in the National Post blog Posted Toronto.

This story is doubly interesting, as it comes not long after the Fraser Institute, Canada’s conservative-and-sometimes-crazy think tank, published a report that said that Toronto was a city in decline, citing factors like median income and a decline in management jobs. I might buy the median income argument, but having dealt with management people of all sorts, a decline might be a good thing and would probably boost productivity (looking at their roster, the Institute seems to be largely made of “managers” as opposed to people who do actual work).

This article in Posted Toronto on the report brought out the usual parade of losers who beat that tired “since my family came to Canada, we’ve had nothing but trouble from the immigrants” drum.

Also Worth a Look

In BusinessWeek’s The World’s Best Places to Live 2008, Canadian cities make a strong showing, with Vancouver in 4th place, Toronto in 15th and Ottawa in 19th. Take these with a grain of salt: the highest-ranking cities were Zurich, Vienna and Geneva, which while nice places, could stand a good dose of laxatives; the highest-ranking U.S. city was Honolulu, with came in at 28th place.

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Music

“Musical Key to Unlocking Teenage Wasteland”

Mrs. Lovejoy: \"Won\'t somebody please think of the children?!\"

In Australian newspaper The Age, an article titled Musical Key to Unlocking Teenage Wasteland took the results of a study in the most recent Australasian Psychiatry journal and created a chart which seems designed to make parents paranoid about the music their teenagers listen to. I’ve reproduced the chart below:

Your Sounds: What Studies Say:
Pop Conformists, overly responsible, role-conscious, struggling with sexuality or peer acceptance.
Heavy Metal Higher levels of suicidal ideation, depression, drug use, self-harm, shoplifting, vandalism, unprotected sex.
Dance Higher levels of drug use regardless of socio-economic background.
Jazz / Rhythm and blues Introverted misfits, loners.
Rap Higher levels of theft, violence, anger, street gang membership, drug use and misogyny.

I must be severely screwed up, as my music collection has healthy doses of all the above!

Buried in the middle of the article is a statement by the author of the published study: “it’s important to point out that music doesn’t cause these behaviours. It’s more a case of teenagers who may have a mental illness or are involved in these antisocial behaviours being drawn to certain types of music.”

The remainder of the article is just the same sort of freak-out fuel for parents that’s been around since the dawn of rock and roll.

Recommended Reading

In this Southern Spotlight article, Professor Kevin Dettmar observes that rock and pop music have historically been attacked during moments of national crisis: “fears of communism and greater teen independence in the 1950s; anti-war movements in the late 1960s and early 1970s; concerns with lyrics and formation of the Parents Music Resource Center in the mid-1980s; or the emergence of rap and hip-hop music today.”

“If you look carefully at those moments, you’ll find that we are not dealing with the real issues,” he said. “We are displacing a lot of nervousness, insecurity or anxiety onto rock ‘n’ roll. It becomes a scapegoat for bigger issues and bigger problems.”