![\"Sandwich board\" on street: \"Hey! If you don\'t want to be a rock star, you don\'t have to be! -- Johnny Rotten\"](https://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/if_you_dont_want_to_be_a_rock_star.jpg "\\"Sandwich board\\" on street: \\"Hey! If you don\'t want to be a rock star, you don\'t have to be! -- Johnny Rotten\\"")
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Month: August 2008
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Handy Pizza Cutter or Cry for Help?
Optimist Club has this photo of a pizza spatula with integrated scissors taken from the Skymall catalog:
“Every new utensil is another cry for help,” they say. If that’s true, then the Skymall and Brookstone catalogs are the twenty-first century’s equivalents of The Bell Jar.
Does anyone remember this myth? I remember first hearing it in high school…
![\"If your ring finger is bigger than your index finger, you\'re a real MACHO MAN. But if your ring finger is equal to your index finger...you can be...GAY!!!\"](https://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/gay_finger_length_myth.jpg "\\"If your ring finger is bigger than your index finger, you\'re a real MACHO MAN. But if your ring finger is equal to your index finger...you can be...GAY!!!\\"")
Image courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.
(Wait…wasn’t Macho Man a big Village People single and a gay club culture anthem?)
I’ll bet that you looked at your hands right now, didn’t you? I’ll bet everybody looked at their hands. And when that happens, you know what it’s time for: Safety Dance!
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The “Business Shorts” Look
With the notable exception of prep school uniforms for the under-10 set and AC/DC’s Angus Young (whose trademark onstage look is modeled after a prep school uniform), I don’t think the “shorts-plus-business-attire” look works:
![Men displaying \"officewear shorts\"](https://www.joeydevilla.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/office_shorts.jpg "Men displaying \\"officewear shorts\\"")
Pairing shorts with business attire is bad enough — especially in the case of the guy on the left, who looks like he had the pants from his suit tailored into shorts — but the “dress shoes minus socks” look takes these outfits into a new realm of horrible.
Perhaps these fashionistas dream of a future like the one shown in the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where some crew members of either sex wore “skants” — a cross between a skirt and pants — a subtle note by the series’ creators that gender equality had been achieved in the 24th century:
“Even Wesley Crusher is laughing at me!”
There’s a reason that even in the hottest countries in the world, long pants are the only acceptable business attire. Shorts are fine, but they work best with shirts and shoes that match them.
For more on these business attire shorts, see the International Herald-Tribune article Shorts Crack the Code.