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In the News

If You’re Throwing a Hallowe’en Party…

…you might want to include this with your invitations. The U.S. election campaign is giving hallowe’en-ers a lazy costume option; use this notice to head them off at the pass:

Sarah Palin costumes are strictly forbidden on these premises
Image courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

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They Know Their Market

The folks at the Las Vegas tourism site Vegas.com have done their homework. They understand that a large number of people who come to visit fall into a very special demographic:

"Are you a douchebag?" promo at Vegas.com

Yup, it’s real. If you go to vegas.com/douchebag, you’ll hit their page catering to the douchebag demographic — those guys who “love clubbing in Vegas, sleeping 8 guys to 1 room, and spray-on tans” and constantly refer to each other as “bro”. They’ve set up a Twitter account you can follow, as well as a “Vegas Douchebag” page on MySpace.

[Found via The Triumph of Bullshit.]

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Oddball Book on Drinking Your Own Pee

Front cover of the book "Auto-Urine Therapy"
Original photo taken by “counterclockwise”.
Click the image to see it on its Flickr page.

“Auto-urine therapy” is just a nicer way of saying “drinking your own pee”, which some people believe has healthful effects. There are a number of famous people who tried auto-urine therapy for health reasons: Gandhi did it, as did Idi Amin, Steve McQueen, Keith Richards and Jim Morrison. You know what they have in common? They’re all dead!

(Some of you might say “Wait a minute — Keith Richards isn’t dead! I suggest that you take a look at the photo of Mr. Richards below:

Keith Richards

Whatever that is, that ain’t what I’d call “alive”.)

The front cover of the book Auto-Urine Therapy (shown at the top of this article), while amusing, is nowhere near as entertaining as the back cover:

Back cover of the book "Auto-Urine Therapy"
Original photo taken by “counterclockwise”.
Click the image to see it on its Flickr page.

The text on the back cover is filled with unintentional hilarity, such as refering to urine as “salubrious water”, but the best line of all is:

If we can drink the urine of cows, why can’t we drink our own urine?

I said the same thing at age 8 to freak out any gullible classmate who was drinking milk in the lunchroom. Clearly the book’s author (or perhaps the publisher) is missing the whole idea of what it means to be a mammal.

Recommended Reading

The Urine Cure and Other Curious Medical Treatments is a brief history of urine as a curative. It includes excerpts from the pamphlet Urine-Therapy: It May Save Your Life.

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It Happened to Me

Licence Plate of the Day

I saw this on Queen Street West yesterday. Maybe “GULLIBLE” was already taken:

FOX News licence plate

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Cars You Can Live In After Your House Has Been Repossessed

Cars you can live in after your house has been repossessedp>

Since the “financiapocalypse” threatens to leave some people homeless, the car blog Jalopnik has put together a list of cars that they consider habitable should you be forced to live in them after your house is repo’d. Here’s their list:

10. Volkswagen Golf/Rabbit
9. Mazda Mazda5
8. Ford Econoline
7. Honda Element
6. Chevy Suburban
5. Volvo 740 Wagon
4. Dodge Caravan
3. Ford Flex
2. Volkswagen Vanagon/EuroVan Westfalia
1. Dodge Sprinter

Volkwagen Golf/Rabbit? Really? It’s not the most comfy vehicle in which to “park”. Er, or so I’m told.

I’ve camped out in my car, a 1998 Honda CR-V, once. It’s roomier than a lot of other cars, and you can make a nice bedding-down area if you extend the cargo space by folding down the back seats. Still, I’d hate to have to live in it.

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If Jesus Ran for President…

…then Republican ads would look like this:

[found via AZSpot]

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It Happened to Me

Hail Satan! (or: Day 1 at Microsoft)

Bart Simpson chalkboard gag: "The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with 'Hail Satan'"

Many cultures have “big players” that form part of their collective demonology, symbols that are reviled, yet envied at the same time. Small-town folks in the U.S. point to New York City and Los Angeles as bad places filled with bad people who get a disproportionate share of the pie; small-town Canada does the same with Toronto. For indie musicians and filmmakers, the reviled and envied demon is Hollywood. In the world of software, the world in which I work, it’s Microsoft.

And as of this morning, they’re my employer. Hail Satan!

Truth be told, I’m pleased to be working on a team with a lot of smart people, some of whom were already my friends. I’m also happy to be employed again, and for a company that’s going to give me the chance to reach more people than ever before. I’m also thankful for the new company-issued laptop, which has a working up-arrow key!

(My personal laptop’s up-arrow key doesn’t work, and I’ve come to appreciate how important the up-arrow key is. If you haven’t yet done so today, go to your computer right now, look at your arrow keys straight on and tell them how much you love and appreciate them!)

Ahem.

The next few months on my tech blog, Global Nerdy are going to be interesting ones. Part of my new job as a Developer Advisor (a.k.a. Developer Evangelist) is to blog, and since my tech blog already has a decent-sized audience, it’s the best onhline vehicle for my work.

I’d like to point a couple of new articles on Global Nerdy about the new job, and for the most part, they’re layperson-friendly.

Company Man (or: The New Job)

Microsoft logo with an accordion

In case you haven’t yet read Company Man (or: The New Job), it’s the article in which I announced to the world that I’ve accepted a position at Microsoft.

California Bound (or: I’m Going to PDC2008)

Cast from the original "90210" with Steve Ballmer's head on Luke Perry's body.

Next up is California Bound (or: I’m Going to PDC2008), the techiest of the articles I’ll point to here. It’s about my flying down to Los Angeles next week to attend Microsoft’s Professional Developers Conference.

The Journey Begins

Anakin Skywalker leaves home as his mother, Shmi Skywalker, watches.

Finally, there’s The Journey Begins, which covers what I plan to do for my first few months at Microsoft.