Year: 2009

I’ve only recently come across the blog 1001 Rules for My Unborn Son, whose advice I think any modern-day gentleman will find useful. The author of this blog posts a new rule regularly; he’s currently up to number 368.

Some of my favourites appear below:

16. You are what you do, not what you say.

20. Learn an instrument, preferably one that can be played at home in the company of friends.

58. Use the broiler. It’s an indoor grill. (I refer to the broiler as “The Inverted Grill”.)

80. Wear a sportcoat when traveling by plane. It has easily accessible pockets.

82. The most expensive restaurant is NEVER the best. (I learned this at Winston’s, which no longer exists.)

115. Short pants are for little boys. Decide for yourself when you are a man.

125. A t-shirt is neither a philosophy nor an advertisement. It’s a shirt. Wear it plain.

153. Traveling to a foreign city is an excuse to dress up, not down.

168. Be cool to the younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.

169. Be nice to your sister. You are her confidante, cheerleader, and bodyguard.

186. Have a favorite song. It doesn’t have to be hip. (The best ones never are.)

198. Don’t trust the calendar. If it’s cold, wear a coat.

201. Order the local specialty.

206. Never turn down a girl’s invitation to dance.

222. Don’t boast about projects in progress. Celebrate their completion.

239. Never post a picture online you wouldn’t feel comfortable showing your mother, your boss, and the dean of admissions. (Alternately, you can work on your shamelessness.)

240. You will have a love life one day. Be discreet.

270. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.

276. Surround yourself with smart people.

296. Never turn down an invitation to speak in public.

301. Dress for the job you want, not for the one you have.

305. Don’t be so eager to leave the kids table.

311. Don’t date your bartender. (Or your barista or cafe waitress.)

325. When excusing yourself from the table, you need not give a reason.

330. Give credit. Take the blame.

349. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry. Live up to it.

357. Trust the concierge.

358. If you have to make more than one substitution, order something else.

According to Ain’t It Cool News, the people behind the musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark will be holding auditions across the United States starting this week. The musical will feature direction by Julie Taymor (Across the Universe, Frida, the Broadway version of The Lion King) and music and lyrics by…Bono and The Edge? Since when did they write for musicals?

Currently, they’re looking for people to play the leads. Here are the descriptions of what they’re looking for:

PETER PARKER – Male. 16-20’s. Must have a great rock tenor voice. Can be nerdy with understated sex appeal and a good sense of humor.

MARY JANE – Female. 16-20’s. Beautiful girl next door. Strong pop/rock singing voice required.

LEAD FEMALE VILLAIN – Female. 25‐35 years old. All ethnicities encouraged. Must have an amazing rock voice. Think Sinead O’Connor with a Middle Eastern/Bulgarian/Greek twist. Foreign and/or world music types are great. Foreign accents are great.

I’ll bet that the show will have a big number titled With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. Yeesh.

This ad for Schaefer Beer features way more of Edd Kalehoff rockin’ out on the Moog Synthesizer than the product it’s actually selling, but I still think it’s the best beer ad ever: