Area Man Not Putting Up with The Onion’s Crap

Since I live in Canada, I now see this when I visit The Onion’s website:

That little “Subscribe Now” window doesn’t appear immediately when you arrive at The Onion. You see the page you meant to visit for a couple of seconds, and then it appears. You can still scroll the page away from the window and it looks as if you can continue reading, but a moment later, the little “pay up!” window snaps into position on the centre of the screen, almost as if to say “Oh no you don’t! Not until you cough up thirty bucks!” I’m sure there’s a clever web developer patting himself or herself on the back for this little programming trick, but if I meet this person, I will stab him or her in the eye. With my accordion.

What’s going on? It turns out that The Onion is testing a paywall for readers outside the US. If you’re an international user who wants to read more than 5 articles in 30 days, you’ll be hit up for money. If you’re within the US, the country that makes up for most of The Onion’s audience, who are most likely to get the jokes requiring a good understanding of American popular culture, who have one of the highest (if not the highest) average discretionary incomes and for whom The Onion’s credit card payment system is most likely to work, it’s free.

The one concession that The Onion is making is that US troops deployed in combat overseas will be able to read it for free. They realize that would be cruel and unusual punishment:

The Onion recognizes that it has a large fanbase in the armed forces, and it doesn’t wish to charge them for being overseas. They also have better stuff to worry about.

The more cynical have might surmise that they’re concerned that Onion staffers will run into soldiers on leave and get stabbed in the eye. With an M-16.

I don’t mind paying for my entertainment, but right now, the street performers in ByWard Market are giving me far better value than The Onion, and hey, I’m supporting a local small business. They’re getting my bucks. As for getting my laughs online, I count on Cracked, College Humor, Toronto Councillor Giorgio Mammoliti and the rubes who comment on the National Post’s site.