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Kids Today…

who is paul mccartney on twitter

…have no idea who Paul McCartney is. Yes, his post-Wings stuff has been pretty dreadful, but I think it’s reasonable to expect to at least have a vague idea of who the Beatles are if you’re to be considered functional in First World popular culture.

(And really kids, if you can tweet your ignorance, you can fix it with a quick search.)

On the other hand, not knowing who Bon Iver are (they’re the indie rock band who won Best New Artist at the Grammys) is perfectly forgivable:

who is bon iver on twitter

“Bonny Bear” – love it!

I have both albums and they’re just okay as background music. The odds are pretty good that five years from now, even the most hardcore fixie-riding hipsters will be asking “Who wereBon Iver?”

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Random Valentine’s-Themed Graphic #5: Happy Valentine’s Day from Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scouts!

The Golden Girls Valentine’s Day graphics I posted back in 2008 are still a big hit today, and if you haven’t seen them yet, go check them out! (No, I didn’t make them; I found them while randomly surfing.)

For the benefit of those of you who grew up in the 1990s, I present to you another random internet Valentine’s find: Sailor Moon / Sailor Scouts cards. Enjoy!

Sailor Moon and Luna: "Valentine, you send me into orbit!"Sailor Scouts in civilian clothes: "Be mine!"Sailor Moon: "Valentine, you're a star in my universe!"Sailor Scouts: "You hold the power to be my valentine!"Sailor Scouts: "Valentine, together we can't be beat!"Sailor Scouts: "Valentine, we make a great team!"Sailor Scouts: "FLying high for you, valentine!"

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How I Spent My Weekend

Cat wearing a little sombrero, bellied up to a makeshift bar with a shot glass and a bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila.

…not quite like this.

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Random Valentine’s-Themed Graphic #4: Valentine’s Day Expectations vs. Reality, as Explained by “Family Guy”

"Valentine's Day expectations": Dolphin licking Peter Griffin's right nipple

"Valentine's Day reality": Peter Griffin licking his own right nipple in front of horrified onlookers

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Ghetto Hikes (or: Shit Inner City Kids Say in the Woods)

Photo of a tree leaking sap, captioned "Hey! Somebody gimme some toast, this tree leakin' Smuckers out the side."

The author of the Tumblr known as Ghetto Hikes simply describes it this way:

I’m 28. I have a full-time job leading urban kids on nature hikes. I simply write down shit they say.

Some of that shit:

  • “Them sheeps is funny lookin’, homie, wearin’ a snuggie full time.”
  • “Rocks, sticks, rivers…needa come out here with my fuckin’ art supplies, paint allll this beautiful shit.”
  • “Mr. Cody, this cool, but next time I get my cousin Dwayne to deliver us Papa Johns. Dwayne turn these woods into a pizza party forest.”
  • “Jamarcus mad cuz I change his facebook to say he like men and he can’t change it cuz this forest ain’t got no wifi.”

and my personal fave:

  • “Hey, Imma leave this cologne out for the animals. Help a brother get some pussy in the matin’ seasons.”

Ghetto Hikes, yo. Check it.

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The Dark Knight: Unemployed

The purpose of a superhero, it’s been said, to become obsolete. So what happens when Batman has brought all of Gotham’s criminals to justice? Hilarity ensues, of course.

Note that there’s one swear word in the video just in case you’re not into that sort of thing.

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Random Valentine’s-Themed Graphic #3: Coping with Valentine’s Day, the Sav-Mor Liquors Way

Liquor store sign that reads: "Valentine's Day / Blah blah blah / Drink"Click the photo to see the original.

As the song goes:

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me
Than have to have a frontal lobotomy
I might be drunk, but at least I’m not insane!

Found at Fred’s Posterous by way of Mitch Wagner.