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From My Rough Drafts

While doing some “housekeeping” on this blog, I went through the articles that have been sitting in the “drafts” folder, awaiting completion and being published. I deleted many because they were no longer relevant, uninteresting or just going nowhere, and cut and pasted the more interesting drafts below. Enjoy!

The 38 States of America (October 2008)

An interesting idea: a map proposed by C. Etzel Pearcy, geography professor at California State University, Los Angeles, that redraws state lines to better fit the way populations across the U.S. ended up being distributed, where the big cities and lines of transportation are, as well as to make the states more evenly-sized. This page explains his rationale further.

Map showing a proposed 38 states of America

R.I.P. Alfred Shaheen, Who Popularized the Aloha Shirt (January 2009)

A tribute I never finished, in honor of the passing of Alfred Shaheen, the guy behind a staple of my summer wardrobe: the aloha shirt (also incorrectly called “Hawaiian shirt”).

Alfred Shaheen in an aloha shirt

Alfred Shaheen

Elvis Presley in "Blue Hawaii", in an aloha shirt

Elvis!

Tom Selleck as "Magnum, P.I." in Robin Masters' Ferrari, in an aloha shirt

Tom Selleck as Thomas Magnum from Magnum, P.I.

Nick Nolte's crazy-haired mugshot featuring him in an aloha shirt

Nick Nolte’s famous mugshot

Al Pacino as "Tony Montana" from "Scarface" in an aloha shirt

Al Pacino as Tomy Montana in Scarface

Breaking up the brawl between Ernest Borgnine and Frank Sinatra in "From Here to Eternity", bith men wearing aloha shirts

Ernest Borgnine vs. Frank Sinatra in From Here to Eternity

Don Ho, in an aloha shirt, with his daughter Hoku

Don Ho and his daughter, Hoku

Montage ofphotos of Mikey from Weezer in an aloha shirt

Mikey Welsh from Weezer

Jack Black in an aloha shirt

Jack Black

"Weird Al" Yankovic in an aloha shirt

“Weird Al” Yankovic

Larry Wall in an aloha shirt

Larry Wall, inventor of the Perl programming language

Joey deVilla in an aloha shirt

Yours Truly, looking suave

Former Marijuana Smuggler (or: Employment Ad of the Day) (February 2009)

Gotta give this guy credit for his candor.

former_marijuana_smuggler

L.A.’s Dopest Attorney (May 2009)

I assume that she’s intended to use “dope” in its hip-hop slang sense, meaning “cool”:

Newspaper ad for "L.A.'s dopest attorney"Photo courtesy of Certified Bullshit Technician.

I wonder how many people have been idly leafing through their local “alternative” newspaper, saw this ad and thought yes, this is the person I want representing me in court.

I wonder if Rob Hyndman would ever consider running an ad in which he called himself Toronto’s Dopest High Tech Attorney

More Spaghetti Dogs (May 2009)

This was meant to be a follow up to Spaghetti Dogs: The Cheap and Cheerful Treat.

spaghetti_dog_01 spaghetti_dog_02

spaghetti_dog_03 spaghetti_dog_04

spaghetti_dogs_5

spaghetti_dogs_06

spaghetti_dogs_07

spaghetti_dogs_08

spaghetti_dogs_09

spaghetti_dogs_10

spaghetti_dogs_11

Skills (May 2009)

I love this photo. I’m sure it’ll eventually end up in one of my presentations.

skillz

Nomad (July 2009)

A couple of photos of Hacklab at the time, which I used as a downtown office, even when I was working at Microsoft.

hacklab_1

hacklab_2

How to Live Given the Certainty of Death (February 2011)

I’ll admit it: I listened to this lecture from Yale’s Philosophy 176 course a number of times in the weeks after the whole nearly-dead experience in January 2011. It was certainly a contributing factor in a number of changes I made in the wake of The Great Reset, including leaving Microsoft, joining Shopify, relocating to Ottawa for the summer and taking up a more nomadic lifestyle. Yes, it’s 47 minutes long, but I think it’s worth your while to give Professor Kagan a listen. It might change your life too.

Milwaukee Travel Diary, Part 2 (October 2011)

Scenes from a fun trip that I never finished writing about. I went to Milwaukee last October as part of my participation in the BarCamp Tour and had an excellent tour guide: my friend Anne, who took me all sorts of places, from German pubs to spy bars to the Harley-Davidson Museum.

01 museum

02 no cages

03 anne

04 joey

05 earley harley

06 timeline 1

07 timeline 2

08 tank timeline 1

09 tank timeline 2

10 exploded bike

11 suck squeeze bang blow

12 from second floor

13 lineup 1

14 lineup 2

15 easy rider bikes

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Know the Difference, Part 2

Electric razor with two attachments, one labelled "BALLS", the other labelled "FACE"

Never underestimate the importance of clear labelling.

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Know the Difference!

Two photos: Small owl on branch - "Owlet". Small owl on branch being sprayed with hose - "Moist owlet"

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A Recipe for Your “Mad Men” Premiere Party: Hellman’s Mayonnaise Cranberry “Candles”

The premiere of season 5 of Mad Men takes place this Sunday! If you’re having a Mad Men viewing party and have been trying to think of period-appropriate food to serve, you might want to try this recipe for cranberry “candles” made with mayo, an idea straight from the era when people were doing weird things with processed food like suspending stuff in jello, making crowns of hot dogs and performing other gastronomical atrocities. I’ve posted the text in the ad above below:

Who’d dream a salad so impressive could be so easy to make! The delicate creaminess and fresh flavor of Hellman’s Real Mayonnaise make it possible.

Smooth, light Hellman’s mellows the tart cranberries to create a holiday salad with elegant new flavor — in an elegant new candle shape. Server it once…and you’ll be asked to serve it again and again.

  • 1 1-lb. can Ocean Spray Whole Cranberry Sauce
  • 1 3-oz. pkg. red, yellow or orange fruit-flavored gelatin
  • 1 cup boiling water
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup HELLMAN’S Real Mayonnaise
  • 1 apple or orange, peeled and diced
  • 1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Heat cranberry sauce, strain, set berries aside. Dissolve gelatin in hot juice and water. Add salt and lemon juice.

Chill until thickened enough to mound slightly when dropped from a spoon.

Beat in real mayonnaise with rotary beater till light and fluffy. Fold in cranberries, fruit and nuts.

Divide mixture evenly into eight 6-oz. fruit juice cans. Chill 4 hours or longer. Unmold. Garnish with real mayonnaise to taste.

To flame: Cut thin birthday candles in half to shorten. Insert into tops of cranberry candles. Light.

This is no place for second best…this is the place for Hellman’s

If you give this recipe a try, let me know how it worked out…either drop me a line or leave a note in the comments!

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Derek Sheen’s Hilarious Reading of Erotic “Charlotte’s Web” Fan Fiction

Crocheted pig: "I'm bringin' sexy back!"Exactly what the title says. Not safe for work, obviously, but it made me laugh — especially the ending. It’s the perfect antidote to this disturbing topic that recently appeared on Reddit.

 

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The Scene Last Night

The view from my seat in Air Canada's Business Class. A movie plays on the in-flight entertainment system while I work on my computer.

Here’s what I saw around 9:30 p.m. last night on my way home. I got bumped up to business class (a happy side-effect of flying around so much), where you can open up a 15″ laptop even when the person in front of you has reclined fully. Hot towel, turbot in white wine sauce on a bed of rice, chocolate cake, a couple of glasses of Penfolds shiraz, Midnight in Paris on the in-flight entertainment system and a little noodling with code on my newly-Nyanned computer. I can’t complain.

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A Space Makes a Difference

Sign over electronic credit card signature pad: "Pen is broken. Please use finger!", with very little space between "pen" and "is".

Titled as found. A wag I know said “That notice works either way you read it, you know?”