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Quebec Trip, Part 6: Schwartz’s and St-Viateur Bagel

No trip to Montreal is truly complete without a visit to Schwartz’s. Since this was The Lady Friend’s first trip ever to Montreal and La belle province, it was my patriotic duty to bring her to everyone’s favourite charcuterie Hebraique for their legendary smoked meat.

The trick was to pick the right time to go. The Saturday of the Labour Day weekend would’ve been a particularly bad time, even during times when you’d think there’d be a lull. I took the photo below that Saturday at about 2:45 p.m., and the line to get into Schwartz’s went to the end of the block and around the corner.

The trick is to go when Montrealers aren’t up. “Between ten and ten-thirty on Sunday morning ought to do it,” I told The Lady Friend.

“Ten and ten-thirty? Won’t lots of people be up already?” she asked.

“In Tampa [where she lives], sure. But these are Montrealers. They go to bed late, like civilized people.”

She shot me a dirty look, but it had the opposite effect on me. I live for those dirty looks she gives me when it’s my intention to misbehave.

We arrived on Sunday morning at 10:30 and half the tables were still empty. However, by 10:45, well after we’d landed our seats, it began to fill up:

It was great to see the place again. I’ve been going here since 1986, and it really hasn’t changed all that much, at least as far as I can tell.

The placemats haven’t changed all that much, either:

Click the photo to see a larger version.

And the sandwich remains a feast for both eyes and palate. We ordered mediums, but I think The Lady Friend might’ve preferred a lean. Next time, we’ll order that for her, and I’ll go for the platter with the full-fat meat and skip the bread.

I’m always in my happy place at Schwartz’s!

With our meal done, it was time to start making our way back to Accordion City. We made out way to the exit:

I promised my sister that I’d pick up some take-home pre-packaged smoked meat from their shop next door and some proper Montreal bagels. The latter required a quick detour north to St-Viateur Bagel to pick up their legendary toroidal carbohydrate modules:

Like Schwartz’s, they haven’t changed much through the years, and I’m glad for that.

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PSY, Britney Spears and Ellen DeGeneres: Together at Last!

I suppose this means that Korean pop star Park Jae-Sang (better known as PSY) is now mainstream: he recently made a surprise appearance on Ellen, in response to a tweet by Britney Spears in which she said she loved the Gangnam Style video and was wondering if anyone wanted to teach her how to do the dance. As you can see in the video above, he seems rather fluent in English, remarking that his performance philosophy is “Dress classy, dance cheesy”. I can get behind that.

PSY led Britney and Ellen through a quick Gangnam Style dance tutorial. Ellen, as always, appeared to have fun. As for Britney? Well…

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Professor X and the Metalhead

"Fumetti" style dialog between Professor X and a metalhead

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What the iPhone 20 Might Look Like

Obi-Wan Kenobi (the Ewan MccGregor version) wielding a very long iPhone like a lightsbaer

This article also appears in Global Nerdy.

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They Know Their Customers Well

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Sign of the Day

Found via Brad Leclerc.

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A Very Niche Market

Condom packages featuring a picture of Gandalf and the line 'You shall not pass'

Designed for that teeny-weeny sliver of the Venn diagram where “Hardcore Lord of the Rings fans” overlaps “People who have sex”.

(Yes, I know that knowing stuff about Lord of the Rings actually puts you in the cool crowd…)