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Easy Listening: The Full “Picking Up Girls Made Easy” Album

If you read National Lampoon back in the 1970s and ’80s, you probably saw ad like the one below near the back of the magazine:

Back before Neil Strauss’ The Game (which I wrote about in My Invitation to Become a Pickup Artist) and the rest of the Pickup Artist and Seduction communities, before the Red Pill Reddite, before evolutionary psychology douchebags and before thealpha malesites in an increasingly whiny section of the ‘net calling itself the “manosphere” — before the current glut of how-to-date-and-live resources for guys where the overarching philosophy seems to align with Peter Griffin’s (“Women are not people. They are devices built by the Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment”) — before all that, there was Eric Weber’s How to Pick Up Girls.

Written when it was still a relatively new thing to approach a woman to whom you hadn’t been introduced, How to Pick Up Girls made tantalizing promises of techniques that you could use to have the ladies eating out of the palm of your hand.

There was enough demand for the book to justify the creation of an 40-minute album, in which you can listen to people in various settings — at the beach, walking in the dog, in a clothes store, at the library — acting out textbook-perfect pickups.

The scenes sound as if they’re being acted out by “Larry” from Three’s Company (he was Jack Tripper’s womanizing buddy who lived int he apartment upstairs), and while they may have seemed a bit sleazy back then, in today’s pretty ungentlemanly dudebro/douchebro-driven dating scene, they now have a retro charm, and they remain high-larious. I’ve shared the album on SoundCloud, and you can listen to the entire thing below:

If you prefer Picking Up Girls Made Easy in single servings, the folks at WFMU have broken the pickups into individual MP3s, which you can listen to below:

Joey deVilla

View Comments

  • Hi Joey

    As I asked you on the other thread, what do you have against casual / No-strings sex? What's wrong with night stands, hooking up, flings, FwB, F-buddies, booty calls, etc ?

    Why do you equate wanting casual sex with women to "Women are not people. They are devices built by the Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment"

    Ironically, you are unwittingly endorsing traditional views of female sexuality. You are sounding like that concerned brotherly figure who is trying to protect women from douchebags. But women don't need you to save them from douchebags. Chances are they too are just using them for sex (whatever the fuck 'using for sex' means)

    http://www.xojane.com/sex/its-so-easy-have-sex-craigslist

  • Tim: Hey there, Tim!

    I've got no problem with casual hook-ups -- I've enjoyed a couple myself.

    What I don't equate wanting casual sex with women to Peter Griffin's statement. It's the attitude that the PUAs have that I find troubling. It runs the gamut from run-of-the-mill dickish buffoonery like negging all the way to this rapey little encounter that Roosh describes in Bang Iceland:

    While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.

    My philosophy is this: casual encounters are fine, but you have to remember that you're having sex with an actual person, not just a life support system for a collection of lady parts; treat them as such.

  • "What’s wrong with night stands"?

    Yeah, if not for night stands, Tim might not know where to put the cash when he leaves.

    "But women don’t need you to save them from douchebags."

    That's not "saving." It's called "cockblocking." And I don't recall electing Tim as the Pope King of my gender.

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