Categories
Uncategorized

Meanwhile, in Japan… (or: The Land of the Rising Men’s Bra)

A Bra for Dudes

Back when I worked at Shopify, I racked my brains trying to think up an idea for an online store, but couldn’t come up with one that hadn’t already been done by hundreds of other vendors with a considerable head start. I once joked with my co-worker Edward that I should sell “manties” — panties for men into that sort of kink — and now I know that I wasn’t that far off from the next big thing in online shopping:

men premium brassiere

Japan, still at the vanguard of exporting high weirdness to the rest of the world, is the home of the online shop Rakuten, which boasts page after page of dudes’ over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. Here’s a screenshot:

mens bras shopping

Rakuten’s customers come from all over the world. According to Rocket News 24 (my go-to site for all sorts of Asian WTF), a satisfied customer from England says that wearing a men’s bra makes him feel “relieved and protected”. Another from Italy talked about the back-support benefits of the male brassiere. Other men say it feels like a sort of security blanket.

Before these guys discovered the “BROssiere’s” benefits, they had to have some reason to try them on first. Rocket News 24 reports a couple of reasons, including losing a bet, an excuse that sounds as lame as explaining to the folks at the emergency room that you just happened to be at home in the nude, fell over backwards, and that is the perfectly innocent explanation why you now have a beer bottle up your ass.

If any of you can read Japanese, could you please tell me what’s this ad says? I like Topless Robot’s interpretation of its text as “Halo of Awesome”, but I’m sure that’s not an accurate translation:

halo of awesome

Ironically, for all the feelings of safety, support, and security that the male bra provides its wearers, it’s also a source of great anxiety. In the world of men, where an effective insult is “You know what we calls guys like you? Chicks!“, I’m sure a male bra wearer, like a Nickelback fan, secret furry or Surface RT owner, lives in perpetual shame and fear of being found out.

The “Male Bra” Segment from The World of Golden Eggs

How did I not know of the existence of the anime series The World of Golden Eggs? It’s every little bit as twisted as you’d imagine a Japanese comedy series set in a midwestern rural American high school could be. It’s so very, very wrong.

Here’s a segment from The World of Golden Eggs in which one bodybuilding jock asks another why he’s wearing a bra. “It’s not a bra! It’s a supporter for my pecs!” replies the other, in this sequence in which they beat a joke to death much better than Family Guy ever has:

Categories
Uncategorized

This Week’s Patio Friday is at the Town Crier Pub

patio friday at the town crier pub

If you’re in Accordion City and looking for something to do tomorrow after work, I recommend checking out Patio Friday, a loosely-organized gathering of people at a randomly-selected bar patio somewhere in Toronto. It’s normally organized by Toronto graphic designer Lee Dale, but he’s out of the country this summer. Luckily for us, Lady Miss Verna “Lake Louise” Kulish took the reins and got the Patio Friday ball rolling this summer. Verna won’t be able to make it this week, but she deputized RJ “World’s Nicest Lawyer” Moorhouse to run the show this week, and he has selected the patio at the Town Crier Pub (115 John Street), located in that row of pubs on John Street across from Chapters. If you’re reading this article, you’re invited! I’ll be there.

The fun starts at 4 p.m. and is reserved under the names “Patio Friday” and “Robert Moorhouse”. It runs until whenever we decide it runs until. The first Patio Friday of this summer took took place at Remy’s, ran until closing time and featured me entertaining lots of ladies:

accordion lessons

Always give a lady an accordion lesson if she asks for one.

Last week’s Patio Friday took place at the Kennedy Public House near Bloor West Village and ran until about 11. It was great fun as well:

patio friday kennedy

And here are some shots of Patio Fridays from previous years, courtesy of Lee Dale:

patio friday 2

patio friday 3

patio friday 4

patio friday 5

patio friday 6

Once again, if you’re looking for something fun to do after work tomorrow, go hit Patio Friday!

Categories
Uncategorized

I’m Over It, But Google Still Isn’t

As you type your name into a Google search box, what suggestions do you get? Here’s what happens when you type in mine:

joey devilla google suggestions

That’s probably a result of my posts on That Particular Situation, listed below in the proper chronological order for the first time:

I’m all right with Google showing “joey devilla divorce” as one of its top suggestions, but maybe it’s time to mix it up a little. I’d like the following to be one of the top suggestions when you type in my name:

if you die in joey devilla do you die in real life

If you’d like to help me make this a reality, you can do one simple thing: do a search for “if you die in joey devilla do you die in real life”! Click that link or the screen capture above and help me mix up my search results a little.

In case you don’t get the reference, it’s from this XKCD comic:

if you die in canada you die in real life

(By the way, the top result for “if you die in joey devilla do you die in real life” is an article in Guyism on what your drink order says about you. It features a photo I took in Seattle.)

Categories
Uncategorized

Shitlists

If you’re on the Harper Government’s “enemies list”, the Eye of Stephen may seek you out!

As a follow-up to my previous post about the Canadian Prime Minister’s office sending “enemies lists” as part of the orientation materials for his new people, here’s a collection of similar “Shit Lists” and other related goodies.

The “You Just Made My Shit List” Poster

First, you can buy this poster at Amazon:

you just made my shit list

Click the poster to see its page on Amazon.

Shitlist by L7

Remember the grunge band L7? They were the poster children of the Riot Grrrl movement of the early ’90s, and if you played Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, you likely heard their single Pretend We’re Dead on the radio in one of your stolen cars:

L7 grunge for rent

They had a track titled Shitlist, which featured this first verse:

When I get mad
And I get pissed
I grab my pen
And I write out a list
Of all the people
That won’t be missed
You’ve made my shitlist

Moe Szyslak’s Enemies List

A somewhat sped-up version of the Simpsons episode Homer’s Enemy.

In the Simpsons episode Homer’s Enemy (the one with Frank “Grimey” Grimes), there’s a scene in which Homer is shocked that Grimes — after watching how everyone lets him get away with everything — has declared him an enemy.

moe's enemies list

Here’s the conversation that Homer has with his buddies at Moe’s Tavern:

Homer: Oh, I can’t believe it, I got an enemy. Me, the most beloved man in Springfield.

Moe: Ah, it’s a weird world, Homer. As hard as it is to believe, some people don’t care for me, neither.

Homer: No, I won’t accept that.

Moe: No, it’s true. I got their names written down right here on what I call my, uh, “enemies list.” [reaches under the bar for a sheet of paper]

Barney: [takes list and reads it] Jane Fonda, Daniel Shore, Jack Anderson…Hey! This is Richard Nixon’s enemies list. You just crossed out his name and put yours.

Moe: Okay, gimme that, gimme it back. [takes list and writes Barney’s name in] Barney Gumble.

Barney: Oh.

Speaking of Nixon’s “Enemies List”…

I mentioned Nixon’s enemies list in my previous post and linked to the searchable online edition of the list. Here’s a bonus video covering the list; it’s from PBS’ series American Experience:

Sarah Palin’s “Take Back the 20” List

You might remember Sarah Palin’s “Take Back the 20” site, which called on people to vote against the 20 House Democrats in areas carried by Republicans who voted for the health care bill. The locations of these 20 people were marked on a map as shown in the screen capture below:

take back the 20 2

If you tried to go to the actual “Tack Back the 20” site, it’s no longer there. That’s because it got taken down after one of the 20 Democrats marked in crosshairs was shot in the head outside a grocery store while at a public function.

Mona Lisa Overdrive by William Gibson

mona lisa overdrive

There’s a scene in Mona Lisa Overdrive the final novel from William Gibson’s “Sprawl” series of near-future cyberpunk novels in which street samurai Molly talks with hardware/software fence The Finn, and explains that she’s figured out that the person who’s coming after her is an adversary from their past:

“So I put her on the list, right? You get big enough trouble one day, you’re being got at, you check that list.”

“And you figured it for her, right off?”

“No. I gotta pretty long list.”

Categories
Uncategorized

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper Channels Richard Nixon (and the NRA) with an “Enemies List”

harper nixon thug life

From the big things, like trying to make Canada more petro-state-like and muzzling environmental scientists to tiny tyrannies like watching for “disloyalty” from federal librarians and archivists on their personal time, the fact that Canada’s Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, is a control freak isn’t news to anyone here. Based on his observed behaviour, it shouldn’t be surprising that his office uses the term “enemy” to describe those who don’t go along, but it still is — it just seems so un-Canadian.

The Globe and Mail reports:

The Harper government is facing questions about whether Conservative staffers were compiling enemies lists as part of transition plans for Monday’s cabinet shuffle.

A July 4 email obtained by Global News shows a Prime Minister’s Office official asking staff working for cabinet ministers across the government to draw up lists of pesky bureaucrats and “enemy stakeholders.”

These include: “Who to avoid: bureaucrats that can’t take no (or yes) for an answer” as well as “who to engage or avoid: friend and enemy stakeholders.”

It’s unusual in Canadian politics for political staffers to openly call those who disagree with them “enemies.”

Critics of the Harper government sometimes compare it unfavourably to the administration of former U.S. President Richard Nixon, citing the Tories’ penchant for secrecy and their distrust of outsiders.

Global News said Ms. Furtado later sent a follow-up email saying that the PMO “no longer required” a list of troublesome bureaucrats.

It quoted a source saying the PMO also verbally requested that ministerial staff develop a list of “enemy reporters,” but that this request was later withdrawn.

There’s a metric ton of training and literature on more constructive ways to define how to handle people who don’t or won’t agree with you. One classic example, made popular on my tech blog, Global Nerdy, is the U.S. Air Force’s “rules of engagement for blogging”, sent to me by Dave Faggard, Chief of Emerging Technology at the Air Force’s Public Affairs Agency, and shown below:

The idea of unpleasant people or organizations having an “enemies” list isn’t anything new. Richard Nixon famously had one, and there’s a site that provides a searchable version for you hardcore history buffs. The NRA had a similar list online that didn’t use the (ahem) loaded term enemy. In light of how bad it made them look (and events such as Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford’s getting shot after appearing on Sarah Palin’s “target list”), they took it down in February. The version I’m linking to is a cached version from the Internet Archive.

Categories
Uncategorized

Patio Friday at The Kennedy (Toronto) and Tavern on George (Hamilton)!

beer

It’s Friday, which means Patio Friday — time for local techies, media, creatives, and hey, anyone who likes good food, drink, and conversation to gather.

If you’re in the Toronto area, Patio Friday will be taking place at The Kennedy Public House (2199 Bloor Street West, a block east of Runnymede Station). Lady Miss Verna “Lake Louise” Kulish will be holding court. I’ll be there with the accordion.

If you’re in Hamilton, Patio Friday will be taking place at Urban Tavern on George in Hess Village (109 George Street) from 4 – 7 p.m. before VoxPopCon begins. Lady Miss Merlene “Needs a Nickname” Paynter will hold court at this one.

Categories
Uncategorized

Uber, The Toronto Storm, Price Gouging, and a Lesson from Coca-Cola

uber user interfaces

There’s an article that’s making the rounds in techie and entrepreneurial circles in Accordion City: it’s The Don’t Be an Asshole Rule, written by Aron Solomon. The asshole to which he’s referring in the article is Uber, the online service in the business of connecting people who want rides with taxis, limos, or enterprising people who’d like to make some extra money driving people around. During Monday’s storm, which left large areas of the city flooded or without power, the roads gridlocked, and thousands of people stranded in the rain, Uber increased the price of their private car service to nearly twice the normal rate. Uber calls it “surge pricing”, but many people called it “price gouging”. Kerry Morrison was one of the first people I saw tweeting his displeasure over surge pricing:

kmore uber tweet

If you look at Uber Toronto’s Twitter feed at the time of this writing (almost noon on Wednesday, June 10th), they’re still in full PR defensive mode, explaining their decision to use surge pricing on their private car service, stating that it never applied to taxis, and stating that the increased prices, some of which would be passed along to drivers, was needed to provide an incentive to private car owners to go out onto gridlocked, unlit, and possibly flooded streets without traffic lights.

This isn’t Uber’s first controversy over surge pricing. They doubled the price of private car service in the New York City / New Jersey area during Hurricane Sandy, which was also met with calls of price gouging. The PR backlash was bad enough that they had to reduce their rates back to standard, but in order to keep drivers happy, continued to pay them at double their going rate. This damage control is reported to have cost them $100,000 a day, and it looks as though they haven’t learned their lesson, in spite of the tuition fee.

Uber isn’t the first company with a self-inflicted wound over variable pricing. In fact, there’s a lesson that Coca-Cola learned at the turn of the millennium that’s often taught in business school.

coke vending machines

In 1999, Douglas Ivester was the CEO of Coca-Cola. Hailed as a brilliant guy, hand-picked and groomed by his predecessor Robert Goizueta and so data-driven that Fortune wrote “Ivester may give us a glimpse of the 21st-century CEO, who marshals data and manages people in a way no pre-Information Age executive ever did or could,” he should’ve had a successful run as leader of the world’s number one beverage company. Instead, his tenure as CEO was short, with Coke’s board of directors — one of whom was Warren Buffett — asking him to resign a mere two years after he got the job.

While Ivester had a talent for business and number-crunching, he lacked the ability to handle the sensibilities of people, whether they were in the company or Coke’s customers. He snubbed key people within the organization, micromanaged, and alienated the bottlers, who in the soft drink industry, are key allies. He also did a terrible job with customers, most notably responding way too slowly when bad batches of Coke made people in Belgium ill, and attempting to introduce variable pricing at Coke vending machines.

variable pricing

Illustration by Liz Meyer for a Time magazine article.

The idea behind variable pricing is a simple one: you adjust the price of a good or service that you’re selling based on some kind of factor, such as demand, where the product is being sold, the time of year, and so on. Ivester wanted to do was rig Coke vending machines so that the price would vary depending on the outside temperature that day: on hot days, a can or bottle of Coke would cost more, on cold days, they’d cost less.

The New York Times explained the logic behind Ivester’s thinking back in 1999, and it’s the sort of thing that you’d find in an Economics 101 textbook, in the section that introduces demand curves. Your desire for a nice cold Coke during a big championship game on a hot summer day would be much higher than usual, and presumably, you’d get more of what economists call utility from a cold drink on such a day. So it’s worth more, isn’t it? Ivester, ever the number-cruncher thought so, saying — and I’m using an actual quote here:

“So, it is fair that it should be more expensive. The machine will simply make this process automatic.”

polar bear facepalm

What makes perfect sense in the overly-simplified, assumption-heavy world of Economics 101 doesn’t always make an equivalent amount of sense in the real world, and the variable-pricing vending machines came off as a form of high-tech price gouging. It didn’t make Coke look like a rational actor simply collecting a fair profit from increased utility for a product sold; it them look like sugar-water-shilling douchenozzles.

People accept variable pricing in a number of situations. We accept that airline ticket prices change daily, with the price climbing as the date of the flight nears. We also accept that airline tickets are more expensive during peak travel times. We accept that gas prices fluctuate, sometimes a number of times during the day, and the most certainly climb during weekends and holidays. We accept that housing prices climb as the supply of houses diminishes.

In all of these cases, we’ve accepted these differences in price as reasonable, partly because we can see the reasons behind the pricing are complex, and partly because the price changes are predictable. We know that flights will be more expensive around Christmas, and we know that the demand for them will be high.

It’s a different situation with Coke, however. This New York Times article analyzing Coca-Cola’s variable pricing idea suggests that we have an intuitive sense of what a Coke should cost, and that messing with that price violates our expectations. Varying its price with the heat makes the pricing seems cruelly arbitrary; it seems to send the message “your pain is my profit”. It sounds like the sort of thing a cartoon villain (or the Ferengi on Star Trek) would pull.

ferengi business ethics

It’s one thing for Uber to use surge pricing for events like holidays or tourist season; these events are predictable, an increase in price seems fair, and it doesn’t look like crass opportunism. However, in an unpredictable event that brings the city to its knees and strands thousands of people in the rain, surge pricing looks like making money off people’s misery.

Some businesses took the opposite tack — my friend Sandy Kemsley wrote on Facebook that she was “so proud to live in a city where last night, with 1000’s of stranded commuters, at least two hotel chains offered discounts”. It’s a financial risk, but I think it would’ve paid off. It would’ve been better for Uber to lower their prices during the storm and provide greater incentive for drivers to get out there and pick people up and treat it as a marketing expense rather than use surge pricing. However, I don’t think that will happen; if a serious disaster like Hurricane Sandy didn’t convince them, a far less serious problem like Monday’s storm has no chance of doing so.