Go Home, Your Worship, You’re Drunk

Photo by Jaime Castillo. Click to see the original.

The annual street fair known as Taste of the Danforth got some extra media attention, thanks to Toronto’s Peter-Griffin-esque mayor and taxpayer-funded constant source of amusement Rob Ford, who got wasted on the Danforth on Friday night. When it comes to the abuse of drink and even more hardcore substances, there are two different pictures of His Worship (the proper honorific for the Mayor of Toronto, even if it’s this assclown):

The sober, hard-working Rob Ford image painted by his cronies (and bought by Toronto’s increasingly-in-denial “low-information voters”) — including Deputy-Mayor-turned-MPP Doug Holyday, Michael Thompson, Gary Crawford, and Frank DiGiogio — who’ll swear that they’ve never seen him take a drink.
The Rob Ford image painted by a whole lotta evidence, including:
- The incident in which he dodged getting charged with possession of marijuana because he was busy being charged with failing to provide a breath sample because he was driving drunk.
- Getting ejected from a hockey game for drunk and disorderly behaviour, which yelling bizzarro threats at a man and woman, such as “Do you want your little wife to go over to Iran and get raped and shot?”
- Buying mickey bottles of cheap-ass vodka in the middle of the day, something you really shouldn’t be doing if you’ve graduated from high school and don’t live in a cardboard box under a bridge
- February 2013: Being asked to leave an military ball that raised funds for Wounded Warriors Canada because he was too drunk in February
- Members of his own council have said to the press that he has a drinking problem

A couple of videos of His Worship’s drunk-walk, both taken by “Mala”, a student at George Brown College, have made the YouTube rounds. Here’s the first one, with a very wobbly Ford surrounded by a lot of young people:

Ford seems to be under the impression that they’re throngs of youthful admirers, a delusion probably fuelled by his self-image as the Greatest High School Football Coach Ever. They actually seem to be gathering around him to get some amusing photos and videos at the expense of the city’s most famous clown. You can even hear an off-camera voice at the 0:35 mark sum up what appears to be the general sentiment of the people lining up to get their Instagrams: “He’s an idiot”.

In the second video, he insists, drunk-uncle-style, “I’m not driving! I’m not driving”, despite having been seen having driven in to the street party in his trademark SUV:

Even more worrisome: at the 0:17 mark in this video, he seems to be saying “Give me some blow. You want some blow? I got some blow.”

A friend suggests that perhaps he’s saying “cologne”. Hopefully for wearing and not for drinking.

Being a bit of a bacchanalian myself, I have no objection to the mayor (or anyone else who isn’t driving or operating heavy machinery) tying one on. However, the mayor, as is his insistent habit, likely drove himself to and from Taste of the Danforth. There’s also this matter, which The Atlantic brings up in their article, Maybe Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Enjoyed This Festival Too Much:

This would be acceptable behavior for a politician — hey, we all get a little wet behind the ears sometimes — but Ford’s leash is shorter than most. This is the mayor who has a history of getting loaded and embarrassing in public. Ford was thrown out of a military gala last year allegedly for being intoxicated. He also got into a confrontation of sorts after chewing out a woman at a Maple Leafs hockey game a few years ago. Oh, yeah, and don’t forget the whole (alleged!) fan-fiction inspiring crack video scandal, too.

Ford’s visit to the party to Taste of the Danforth has appeared in a number of media outlets: