The “Single in Toronto” Tumblr

No matter where I’ve gone in North America, people have the same complaint: “It’s really hard to date in this city”. Toronto is no exception, and an anonymous, single, not-yet-30 Toronto woman has decided to express this with her Tumblr, Single in Toronto. The intro to the site reads:

It’s been said that Toronto is the worst city in the world to date, meet someone, or find love. That is what it’s like for me. P.S. Toronto still kicks ass a part [sic] from this.

It’s one of those “What Should We Call Me” Tumblrs, which is a reference to What Should We Call Me, a Tumblr that became popular — and then, widely imitated — where entries were everyday situations followed with animated pictures of reactions to them.

Here’s Single in Toronto’s reaction to: “When I find out he lives west of Ossington, north of Bloor, or east of Parliament”…

For you non-Toronto people, those streets mark the boundaries outside which most hipsters never venture.

Here’s: “When he suggests meeting up at Jack Astors, Milestones or Pickle Barrel”…

Do people in Toronto intentionally have first dates at Jack Astors, Milestones, or Pickle Barrel? They’re perfectly decent places, but unless you live deep in the ‘burbs, are doing dinner-and-a-movie and dinner at one of these places is the only possible way the timing will work, or are a character in The Office or Office Space, you should try a little harder and pick a place with some charm and ambiance that wasn’t defined by a specification department from a distant head office. This is especially true for people in Toronto, the city where new restaurants pop up all the time.

And Earl’s is a definite no-no for a first date. It’s for you and your bros to stare at the waitresses, who are hired primarily for their looks. You might as well have your first date at Hooters.

The only acceptable chain restaurant for a first date is Montana’s, only if (a) you go ironically, and (b) you order their best dessert: the straight-from-the-deep-fryer teeny donuts with the powdered sugar and chocolate and caramel dipping sauces. They are magnificent. Okay, the baked-in-a-skillet chocolate chip cookie a la mode’s not bad, either.

Not all the posts are Toronto- or Canada-specific. Here’s one that many people, no matter where they live, can sympathize with: “When I try really hard to remember what sex was like”…

Ouch. We’ve all been there.