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Have you ever asked Google if it’s normal to do something?

Older woman and man at a computer, looking with shocked expressions at the screen.

When you type search terms into Google, it makes suggestions based on similar searches that other people have made. Here’s what I see when I go to Google and type “Is it normal to” in the search box:

Screen capture of Google's suggestions for the search phrase 'Is it normal to'. Suggestions are: 'Is it normal to have a white discharge', 'Is it normal to be sexually attracted to numbers', 'Is it normal to poop blood', 'Is it normal to spot while pregnant'

What I see when I type “Is it normal to” into Google.
Click the screen capture to see it at full size.

Google results vary from person to person because it uses individual factors such as your browser history. Here’s what someone else got when typing “Is it normal to” into Google. I wonder what sites this guy’s been visiting:

Screen capture of Google's suggestions for the search phrase 'Is it normal to'. Suggestions are: 'Is it normal to let her do that', 'Is it normal to hide skittles in your foreskin'

What another person saw when typing “Is it normal to” into Google.
From AcidCow.com. Click the screen capture to see it at full size.

(For those of you who live outside North America, Skittles are fruit-flavoured candy.

Bag of Skittles with some inidividual Skittles candies beside it.
Do you get any…odd suggestions?

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Recommended holiday movie: Zero Charisma (2013)

Still from Zero Charisma: Scott leading a fantasy role-playing gaming session with his friends.

If you’re lining up videos to watch during the upcoming holiday downtime and you’ve ever played Dungeons and Dragons or similar fantasy role-playing games, you might want to get your paws on Zero Charisma. If you’ve ever had to contend with a misanthropic overbearing gamemaster who’s never quite grown up out of that oh-so-painful adolescent fanboy phase and has no life beyond the GM screen, you’ll find Scott, the protagonist, oh-so-familiar. In the film, Scott’s world comes crashing down when all sort of unwelcome changes come into his life, from the return of his estranged mom, to the entry of a new, much hipper nerd into the gaming group, to a visit by a Gary Gygax-esque game designer.

Zero Charisma won an audience award at SXSW 2013, JoBlo.com calls it “like TAXI DRIVER for fanboys”, and Anitra both let out sighs of rueful recognition and guffaws when we watched it last night (she also noted some similarities between me and one of the characters). You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll want to make a saving throw.

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The Wreath of Khan: The perfect Christmas decoration for Star Trek fans

The Wreath of Khan: A wreath made of black-and-white photos of Ricardo Montalban playing 'Khan', with a big red ribbon at the bottom.

The Wreath of Khan is a creation of Annie Shapiro’s, and yes, it features the original Khan played by Ricardo Montalban in what’s still considered to be one of the best (if not the best) Star Trek film.

Here’s the original, cheesetastic, so-eighties-it-hurts trailer for the 1982 film:

Found via Laughing Squid.

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Mystery solved!

why girls travel in pairs to the bathroom

as they used to say on G.I. Joe, “…and knowing is half the battle.”

Found via Reddit, which probably explains a lot.

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I wonder what the guy with the “Brian Griffin R.I.P.” tattoo is thinking now

family guy brian death

In cartoons, especially ones with genius-level babies who have their own time machines, death is not forever.

Or, as Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane more colourfully put it in a recent tweet:

However, in reality, tattoos are a little more permanent. I wonder what the guy with this tattoo is thinking now that Brian is alive again:

r.i.p. brian griffin tattoo

This is probably a good time to revisit screenwriter Max Landis’ celebrity- and curse-word laden video essay, The Death and Return of Superman, his (mostly accurate) take on that time in the 1990s when they killed off Superman:

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My Accordion-Assisted Airline Upgrades

The Dallas Upgrade

empty dallas-fort worth airport terminal

It was 8 p.m. on a Saturday night in Dallas-Fort Worth airport when I arrived from Las Vegas to catch a connecting flight back to Toronto. The airport was pretty empty, and all but a few of the shops and restaurants had shut down for the day.

I was on the inter-terminal train system with a couple of my fellow passengers from the flight that left Las Vegas when I overheard a couple talking about something they’d missed on their trip.

“Would’ve loved to have seen the Nine Inch Nails show at the Hard Rock,” the guy said.

It turned out to be the show in which Trent Reznor took a moment onstage to FaceTime terminally ill Nine Inch Nails superfan and rock photographer Andrew Youssef, who was too sick to attend the concert. He stopped the show to place the call, got the audience to say hello to him, and then dedicated In This Twilight to him. Andrew died two weeks later.

“Well, honey, we didn’t know it would happen ’round the time we were there,” replied the girl.

It seemed appropriate, so I piped in. “Are you talking about the Nine Inch Nails show in Vegas tonight?”

“Yeah,” said the guy. “We didn’t know about it, so we booked a flight back on Saturday so we could have Sunday to unwind before getting back to work.”

“Hey, I didn’t know about it either, until my girlfriend’s cousin, who works at the Hard Rock, told us about it,” I said. “By the time we heard, the show was sold out.”

“Oh well,” the girl said, leaning up against the guy and taking his hand.

“I can give you the next best thing,” I said, taking the accordion off my back, after which I played Head Like a Hole. They sang along until the end of the train ride.

american airlines a319 interior

There were four employees at the desk when I walked up to the gate for my Toronto flight. The departure lounge couches were mostly empty, and there was little for them to do. They looked bored.

I checked with them to see if the flight was on time, and as I turned around to get a seat to eat my fast-food dinner, one of them said “Is that an accordion?”

“Not just any accordion, but a rock and roll accordion. Would you like to hear something?”

One of them said “AC/DC”, and that’s all I needed. I had them singing along to You Shook Me All Night Long.

“That,” one of them said, “was exactly what we needed tonight. How would you like an exit row all to yourself?”

“I would love one,” I replied.

Moments later, I’d exchanged my boarding pass for one granting me my own exit row. To make things even better, the plane turned out to be one of American Airlines’ new A319s with the leather seats and the entertainment units. Not bad.

american airlines a319 exit row with accordion

Photos by Yours Truly.

The Kansas City Upgrade (October 2013)

joey at buffalo airport

Me at Buffalo-Niagara airport, waiting for the flight about to be cancelled. Photo by Yours Truly.

The First Delay: Buffalo

I was flying to Kansas City early one Saturday afternoon. There, I would play accordion at my friend Matt’s party, where all save a handful of guests thought was just a Halloween bash. The secret was that he and his fiancee Lori were going to have their wedding ceremony in the middle, and I would play the Wedding March and other appropriate tunes, presumably including Billy Idol’s White Wedding. My schedule gave me a couple of hours’ leeway, so I felt pretty confident that I’d be at the party with time to spare.

And that’s when they wheeled my flight’s pilot away on a gurney.

Shortly after that, they announcement was made that the flight was cancelled since they couldn’t find a replacement pilot. I made a beeline for the ticket counter, where they changed my flight from Buffalo – Chicago – Kansas City to Buffalo – Cleveland – Kansas City. I’d be a little late, but still in time to catch most of the party and possibly even play at the ceremony. I texted Matt with the news.

The Second Delay: Cleveland

I’d just gotten comfortable in my seat on the Cleveland – Kansas City flight when the lights went out on the plane. The plane had been connected to the airport’s power supply, but the power supply hadn’t been turned on, so the plane’s batteries ended up being drained. There wasn’t enough juice to start the plane’s generator, and we all had to disembark and wait for someone to either recharge our aircraft or the pilots to locate a new one. At that point, I knew I was going to miss not just the wedding ceremony, but most of the party as well.

It took them only a half hour to find another aircraft that the pilots were qualified to fly, and we boarded. I was in a row near where the flight attendants were stationed, and I’d been telling them about all my delays. They offered me a free drink once we’d gotten airborne, which I accepted.

One of them saw the accordion and said “Can you play that thing?”

I said “Of course. Would you like to hear something?”

She said “You might as well do it right now. The pilots are going to need some time getting set up.”

“Well, let me do a couple of numbers for the plane.” I stood up in the aisle, and a number of people shot video of the performance, including one Ann Wesley Hardin. In the video she shot, you can hear her say “It’s gonna be on YouTube tomorrow!”:

After my numbers, I took my seat and the flight attendant handed me a pre-flight can of Corona in a paper bag, presumably so it wasn’t that obvious, and I had another free and more openly-enjoyed beer when the drinks cart came around:

joey devilla - reward for a job well done

Photos by Yours Truly.

I do love travelling with the accordion!

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You! Shall! Not! Pass…the mashed potatoes.

lord of the rings dining table

This Lord of the Rings-themed dining table is geek-tastic. I give it a natural 20.