The Rob Ford roundup

And now, some news about our Mayor, Rob Ford…

Jailhouse Rob

More evidence for my theory that there’s a Family Guy image for every Rob Ford story.

Here are the first two paragraphs from yesterday’s story in the Globe and Mail:

Jailhouse beating meant to keep Rob Ford’s secrets, lawsuit alleges

Several prisoners shattered the teeth and broke the leg of Rob Ford’s estranged brother-in-law in a jailhouse beating that was intended to keep him quiet about the Toronto mayor’s abuse of alcohol and illegal drugs, it has been alleged in a lawsuit.

The 2012 jailhouse assault of Scott MacIntyre was orchestrated by Aedan Petros, Mr. MacIntyre has alleged in a statement of claim. Mr. Petros is a 300-pound, violent criminal who played defensive tackle for Mr. Ford when he was the coach of the football team at Don Bosco Catholic Secondary School.

Of course, Ford Nation will insist that what a man does in his private time is his own business. After all, who among us hasn’t ordered a prison beat-down at least once in our lives? This man’s saving the city a billion dollars!

Rob Ford’s Etobicoke

Toronto Life takes us on a tour of Rob Ford’s Etobicoke — the “k” is silent — and much of it is the same Etobicoke I grew up in. As a kid, I biked past the house where he grew up and the gas station where he did shady exchanges all the time. It’s all in their piece, A Tour of Ford Country: the 13 notable places that gave rise to our divisive, duplicitous mayor.

Rob Ford’s George Constanza Play

Matthew Coutts writes: “Rob Ford is apparently familiar with an approach made famous by George Costanza on Seinfeld: Keep showing up places and sooner or later people will become resigned to your presence.”

Ford was originally invited to a Toronto Region Board of Trade dinner, but in light of all the scandals, was un-invited by phone. Ford, unapparently unaware of his change in status, showed up anyway, and was given a last-minute seat near the back of the room. Uncharacteristically, he didn’t stay for the actual meal, as Board of Trade President and CEO Carol Wilding made indirect but obvious references to Ford in a speech about a need for new Toronto leadership, the city’s tarnished image, and calling for the Board of Trade members to forget about the distractions — he scooted, sensing that he was unwelcome. If only we can do this on a city-wide basis.

Church bullies and why Rob Ford won’t go quietly

After all the scandals, the news reports, the late-night TV mockery, the calls to resign, why doesn’t Rob Ford step down? Because he likes where he is now. In fact, the reason it’s nice to be Rob Ford is the same reason it’s good to be the church bully: it’s the easiest way to get your way, you can use your own anxieties against others and people’s anxieties against them, you can play the victim when caught, and the stakes are so low for you and high for others. The Millennial Pastor sums it up nicely in his article, 12 Reasons Why it is Good to be a Church Bully.