Do the math — add the percentages on the label. Even the most hardcore high school football coaches only ask players to give 110%.
Today’s high temperature in Toronto is expected to be -14 degrees C (7 degrees F), which will feel like -22 degrees C (-8 degrees F) once you factor in the wind. You might want to wear a sweater like the one above.
Found at the Glory and Gore Tumblr. Click the photo to see the source.
I can almost hear the director on the Today show saying: “A little to the left, Al. Just a little more…and hold it — perfect! Don’t move!”
And that’s how Winter Storm Janus will eventually be remembered as Winter Storm Anus.
Here’s an object lesson on the problems that could arise when you put dark text over a dark background:
And since when did we start naming winter storms?
He’s sporting a fake Jamaican accent now, so it only makes sense for him to sport a new fake Jamaican ‘do. How about this?
Photo from James Duncan. Click to see the source.
Rob Ford started it with his (apparently) drunk fake patois rant about the chief of police caught on video, and I decided to join in with a very short little ditty. Why should His Worship have all the fun?
Mark McKinney does a better fake accent in this episode of The Kids in the Hall in the disturbingly amusing “Sex Girl Patrol” skit (it starts at 13:10):
Toronto’s most famous white guy doing patois remains our one hit ’90s hip-hop wonder, Snow, and his one hit, Informer. Licky-boom-boom-do-own!
I’ve got to mention Adam Sandler’s reggae number, Piece of Shit Car:
Rob Ford, for all his “Aw, shucks, I’m just an average guy like you” posturing is a millionaire and owns a handful of condos in Florida, despite not having put much work into the family business. It’s only fitting that we dedicate Lonely Islands’s Ras Trent, a song about a spoiled white fake rasta to the mayor:
How could I forget Snow? Thanks to Emmett Plant for the reminder.
It’s been a while since we’ve seen a droll and embarrassing-to-Toronto video starring our Peter Griffin-esque mayor, Rob Ford, but we were long overdue for a new one, and thankfully, he’s delivered.
The video below appears to feature His Worship making small talk with the locals at a fast food joint (of course) in the Toronto suburb of Rexdale. He doesn’t sound all that coherent, and were it not for his declaration that he’s given up drinking — and hey, who’s more credible than Rob Ford? — I’d swear he was a number of jumbo-sized sheets to the wind.
For all the things one can say about Rob Ford, he’s got a knack for getting down with people of colour in a way that most of the other municipal leaders in the Greater Toronto Area — all of whom are white, despite Toronto and area being nearly 50% non-white — just can’t. He even makes sure to use the Jamaican patois term “bumbaclot”, which any good Etobicoke kid, myself included, should have learned during those formative teen years. There’s hasn’t been a substance-abusing white-guy-talking-black this entertaining since Gary Busey!