This American student who got stuck inside a giant vagina statue and had to be rescued by 22 men in rubber raincoats is a metaphor for something, I’m almost certain

The large outdoor sculpture pictured above is located in Tübingen, Genmany (30 km south of Stuttgart) and named Chachan-Pi. The name means “making love”, and yes, the sculpture is a giant marble vagina.

I suspect that there are thousands of people, who upon encountering Chachan-Pi, have told a friend “Photograph me whilst I strike some comical pose beside this Brobdingnagian baby-cannon!”…or words to that effect. I also suspect that they’ve all ended with a photo and no other incident.

One American student travelling abroad wasn’t so lucky. Somehow, in positioning himself for a high-larious pose, he got stuck:

But hey, the guy wanted his friend to take a funny picture, so he did just that. And, as any good citizen with a funny picture is morally compelled to do, he posted it on the internet. “Hey bro, I need the Reddit points!”

This will likely just reinforce the stereotype of the dorky Asian guy. Thanks, dude. Thanks for nothing.

For reasons that have not yet been made clear, reports say that it took 22 firefighters to free the stuck student. It’s almost as if they were trying to create a brand new metaphor about how little we men understand women:

The rescue was a success, and being guys in rubber raincoats who just had a close encounter with a vagina, they had to brag a little. They claimed that they freed the student “by hand and without the application of tools”. I say this with all seriousness and only a little jest: a little lube might’ve helped.

And finally, as the cliche cherry on the stereotype sundae that is this story, the mayor of Tübingen came across as the sort of stoic Teutonic psychoanalyst you’d expect as part of an ensemble cast in a black comedy with his statement on the incident. He said that he couldn’t figure out how the student got stuck in the first place, “even when considering the most extreme adolescent fantasies. To reward such a masterly achievement with the use of 22 firefighters almost pains my soul.”

Sigmund Freud would’ve had a field day with this.