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Toronto Police’s photos show a smiling police state in Trinity Bellwoods Park [Update]

to surround and protect

The captioning added to the photo above is mine, but the photo itself is from the most recent article on the Toronto Police Services’ PR site, which sells their crackdown on fun in Toronto’s Trinity Bellwoods Park. The park is located on Queen Street West not far from the downtown core, has long been a gathering place for families, tennis players, and local subcultures in a neighborhood that mixes commercial use, nearby clubs, and a wide array of residents ranging from students to seniors. It used to be considerably more skeevy and unsafe in the 1990s when it was a place where few people went, but the influx of people, including hipsters, raver kids, drum circle types, and others, has actually made it safer and more enjoyable with their hanging out (suburbanites think quiet parks are nice; the reality is that unused public space is dangerous), and gave the place more of a “community” feel. The downside is that some parkgoers have been noisy, unruly, drunk, and urinating in public, but we tolerate that behavior from Mayor Rob Ford, don’t we?

The purpose and “spirit” of the park have been the subject of recent debates, with some residents complaining about noise and public drinking on the park (most of which is hipsters taking swigs of PBR but includes some mothers enjoying wine with their picnic).

trinity bellwoods cops

The police have stepped up their watch over the park, and are proudly announcing it in their article with photos with the not-so-subtle message of “we’re watching you”. The photos show the cops in a group, either surrounding the serfs — er, citizenry — or in Top Gun-esque lead-wingman formation…but with smiles! Note they way they’re posed: they’re all positioned above the potentially unruly proles. I don’t think that this is the message they were going for; for all I know, they got “punked” by the photographer who set up these poses.

The danger in this sort of messaging is that they’ll make the park less popular, less populated, and quite possibly, more dangerous. There’s a bright side to all this, though: it means that more people are going to Dufferin Grove and Christie Pits parks, which could use the company.

Update: Some eagle-eyed Facebook friends have pointed out that the Toronto Police Services news site takes over the standard scrolling behavior and replaces it with their own. Really, Toronto Police Services, I think you have some control issues — or a branding opportunity. Maybe you could call it “Scroll Patrol”.

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My day (and Tweets) at the Florida Signature Bridal Affair

I spent most of Sunday afternoon at the “Ray Jay” — Tampa’s Raymond James Stadium

raymond james stadium

…but it wasn’t to watch a football game. Instead, I went to attend an event run by an industry that’s even more into shameless profiteering than the NFL. I went — of my own free will — to the Florida Signature Bridal Affair.

florida signature bridal affair

For most guys, an event of this sort would elicit this sort of response:

I decided to tag along with the Future Missus partly because marriage is a team sport, and partly out of a sense of morbid curiosity. Besides, this whole uprooting-from-Toronto-and-moving-to-Tampa thing has been a big exercise in getting out of my comfort zone; what’s an afternoon excursion compared to that?

I decided to make the most of my time in the Heart of Brideness and tweets my observations from the event. It made the time pass considerably more quickly, and I hope you find them amusing!

 

Damned autocorrect. The quote should be “if he thinks he’s going to Vegas with his buddies, he’s got another thing comin’.”

In case you don’t get the reference above:

 

You know what this centerpiece says to me? Golf widow.

golf widow

 

For reference, here are the iPhone 5C colors:

iphone 5c

 

The MC actually said “Where’s Amanda Ball? I need Amanda Ball, people!”

 

 

peach to nectarine

I wrapped up the event on a high note:

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I had no idea that December 13, 2014 was an in-demand wedding date

12-13-14 weddings

In the search for a wedding venue, I’ve been calling some Accordion Bay places. I’ve got a a set of dates that will allow some can’t-miss guests to attend, and in my calling around, I’ve learned that you can’t book a venue on December 13, 2014 because it’s an incredibly popular date.

If you use the American month-day-year system for ordering numerical dates, December 13, 2014 becomes 12-13-14, which also happens to fall on a Saturday. It’s also the last time we’ll have another such “sequential” date for almost a century — the next one’s 01-02-03, or January 2, 2103, which also happens to be a Saturday. Given that we’re not going to see any memorable or “auspicious” dates that also happen to fall on a Saturday (the preferred day for weddings) for a good long time, there’s been a lot of demand for the December 13, 2013 wedding venues. Hotels know this, and have been capitalizing on the hype. Las Vegas, knowing their visitor’s obsession with “lucky numbers” has done the same by selling so-called “Traditional 12-13-14 wedding packages”.

piday-lg

I’d love to be able to say that thanks to my science and math background, I’m above all this “auspicious date” junk, but I’d really love to have my wedding on 3-14, a.k.a. “Pi Day”. Even better, Pi Day falls on a Saturday next year, and the next year’s date, 3-14-15 happens to correspond to the first 5 digits of pi (3.141592…)! GEEK SQUEEEE!

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Performances from the 1983 US Festival’s “New Wave” day

us festival

One of Apple’s less-remembered contributions to pop culture were the US Festivals, two multi-act musical and culture festivals sponsored by Steve Wozniak, Apple’s other co-founder. You probably last heard it mentioned in the “Homerpalooza” episode of The Simpsons, aired in 1996, when Apple was a struggling company:

The 1983 edition of the US festival had 4 days of music, each devoted to a particular category:

  • New Wave Day
  • Heavy Metal Day
  • Rock Day
  • Country Day

A video about 90 minutes long from New Wave Day has recently been posted to YouTube:

It features performances by the following bands:

INXS at the 1983 US Festival

Here’s a look at early INXS, in the Shaboo Shoobah era, when their best-known tune was The One Thing.

Divinyls at the 1983 US Festival

Remember, this is a pre-“I Touch Myself” Divinyls. The announcer mispronounced their name, calling them the “Die-Vinyls”.

Wall of Voodoo at the 1983 US Festival

This was Stan Ridgway’s last performance with Wall of Voodoo before going solo.

Oingo Boingo at the 1983 US Festival

This is a pre-“Weird Science” Oingo Boingo, and their leader Danny Elfman would go on to score the Batman movie and create the Simpsons theme.

The English Beat at the 1983 US Festival

The English Beat disbanded later that year.

A Flock of Seagulls at the 1983 US Festival

Here’s the hair that led to the joke in The Wedding Singer.

Stray Cats at the 1983 US Festival

In the ’80s, Rockabilly got classified under New Wave.

Men at Work at the 1983 US Festival

Men at Work introduced the world outside Australia to vegemite.

The Clash at the 1983 US Festival

This was Mick Jones’ last appearance with The Clash.

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An amusing little tune for Friday morning: “Toast” by Streetband

toast

If you grew up in Toronto in the ’80s and you preferred alternative music, chances are that you listened to CFNY, the radio station located at 102.1 on the FM dial on an old technology called “terrestrial radio” presently. CFNY are still the call letters for the station, although it goes by the name “The Edge” these days, despite being far less edgy than it used to be.

CFNY’s weekday morning drive show was hosted by “Pete and Geets“, who peppered the usual early- to mid-80s alt-rock playlist of Depeche Mode, U2, New Order and The Smiths with some oddball tracks including Toast, a charming jazzy ditty recorded in 1978 by a short-lived UK group called Streetband. Many a Friday morning during my high school years started with this:

If you came of age in the 1980s and think that you’ve seen or heard the lead vocalist before, it’s probably because you have. He’s Paul Young, as in the guy who had a solo career that included so-eighties-it-hurts hits like Every Time You Go Away and Come Back and Stay.

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Rob Ford and his sobriety coach are a buddy movie waiting to happen

rob ford and bob marier

Photo from the Toronto Star taken by Bernard Weil.
Click the photo to see the source.

If you follow the antics of Toronto’s mayor Rob Ford, you’re probably aware that he’s spent the past few weeks in rehab and is back at the job with a sobriety coach in tow. The photo above recently appeared in the Toronto Star, and it has a certain “buddy film” quality to it. It cried out for a parody movie poster, and I’m not one to refuse such cries:

sobriety coach poster

This needs to be turned into a movie or Netflix series. I’m picturing Zach Galifianakis and Robert Downey Jr. in these roles.

IM THE MAYOR DEAL WITH IT 2The Toronto Star article asks an important question about Bob Marier, the sobriety coach: how is this guy supposed to be helping Rob Ford? Coaches of all sorts are supposed to set examples, and in a earlier incident this week, Marier allegedly set a poor one by kicking someone protesting at a Ford publicity appearance.

Here’s a video showing a police officer taking Marier to task for doing so, and Marier doing the very thing he’s supposed to stop his clients from doing: excusing himself through denial.

The Star quotes Peter Downing, who manages sobriety coaches at Cerberus Life Management and was himself a sobriety coach for many years. He states the painfully obvious: ““That’s not how you do it.”

When I first heard the Ford had hired a sobriety coach, I imagined that it would work out as well as the situation with Britney Spears’ diet coach, as portrayed on Family Guy (because all Rob Ford life moments have a corresponding Family Guy scene):

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Rob Ford needs a homophobia coach

He’s got a sobriety coach (who brings his own problems to the table), so why not a homophobia coach?

rob ford stays seated

Photo found via Toronto Sun reporter Don Peat’s Twitter account.
Click the photo o see it at full size.