Categories: Uncategorized

Hormonal teenage dude “does unmentionables” to a stuffed animal in a Walmart, and yes, it happened in Florida

Gives the expression “I have to see a man about a horse” a whole ‘nother meaning.
Click the photo to read the story on The Smoking Gun.

As if being a 19-year-old guy with hormones coursing through your veins wasn’t a rough enough ride, there’s also the fact that in Florida, no idea is a bad one. Pair these two together, and you get Sean Johnson. The Smoking Gun summarizes what he did at a Walmart in Brooksville, Florida (located about 50 miles/80 kilometres north of Tampa):

According to a police report, Sean Johnson, 19, “selected a brown, tan, and red stuffed horse from the clearance shelf in the garden department.” He then went to the comforter aisle in the housewares section, “proceeded to pull out his genitals,” and“proceeded to hump the stuffed horse utilizing short fast movements.” The lewd act was captured by surveillance cameras.

After Johnson “achieved an orgasm and ejaculated on the stuffed horse’s chest area,” he placed the “soiled stuffed horse on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set) contaminating that property also.”

Johnson very quickly left the store after the act was completed, but was later arrested by Brooksville police. In a statement that was poorly written in every sense of the phrase, Johnson admitted that he “did unmentionables to a stuffed animal”:

Click the statement to see it at full size.

After posting a $1,500 bond, he was released from custody. To the Walmart branch’s credit, the stuffed horse and any merchandise that came into contact with it has been taken off the shelves and deemed unsuitable for sale.

Joey deVilla

View Comments

Recent Posts

Sunday picdump for March 16, 2025

Another Sunday, another “picdump!” Here are 200+ memes, pictures, and cartoons floating around the internet…

20 hours ago

TV caption of the day

A Swedish TV program labelled Vladimir Putin as “President USA.” My thoughts on this:

2 days ago

[Update] A true is friend is someone who would hide you. Canada has been that friend to the U.S.

[ The original version of this article is incorrect, so I’m substituting its content with…

4 days ago

The better Vance: JD Vance’s cousin Nate was a volunteer soldier in a Ukrainian battalion

Le Figaro, a daily newspaper in France that’s been around since 1826, has published an…

7 days ago

Sunday picdump for March 9, 2025

Another Sunday, another “picdump!” Here are 200+ memes, pictures, and cartoons floating around the internet…

1 week ago