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Florida of the Day: Naked no-name molly-dropping model home-ruining Florida Man!

Jacksonville police were called to deal with a man indecently exposing himself in a model home. The man entered a model home that was unlocked and unoccupied, stripped naked, and then left to walk about the neighborhood au naturel. He then broke into a fully-furnished home, where he’s reported to have “damaged the property” (I suspect bodily functions are involved). Police entered that home, at which point Naked Guy locked himself in the bathroom. He eventually exited and was taken into custody without incident.

I like how the WTLV account says that “the suspect did not have any identification”. He apparently identified himself to the officers with a set of names:

  • Chance
  • Cecil
  • Randolph
  • Three

That last one’s my favorite.

He was eventually identified as Cecil Warner, and unsurprisingly admitted to having taken 10 MDMA (“Ecstasy” to Gen-Xers, “Molly” to Millennials) pills on Monday morning. Florida Man doesn’t need to wait for Friday to get his party on!

Joey deVilla

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