Police in St. Pete arrested Richard Ellis Spurrier around 11 p.m. Saturday for handing out weed “because it was Christmas”. They say that said Spurrier had 45 grams of marijuana and was giving it away to passers-by, which is quite possibly the most Christmas-y thing one can do, short of tossing three bags of gold through someone’s open window so that their daughters wouldn’t have to take up prostitution as a career.
For some reason, Spurrier is being charged with possession of marijuana with intent to sell. Aren’t “giving away” and “selling” two very different things? The St. Pete po-po are the Grinches in this scenario.
During the arrest, the cops discovered that had one of the sweet-ass canes that conceals a sword, which means that not only is Spurrier is goddamn Christmas hero, he’s also a badass.
Have a good April Fools’ Day tomorrow, but be mindful about your pranking.
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