Categories
It Happened to Me Life

Tonight’s dinner: Mapo tofu!

Photo: Cast iron pan full of ma po tofu (Cut-up tofu, ground pork, and spicy chili sauce, garnished with sliced green onion).
I love this stuff. Tap the photo to see it at full size.

One of my favorite Chinese dishes is mapo tofu, a Sichuan dish whose name translates as “pockmarked grandma’s tofu”. It’s a nice, high-protein dish as it’s made from ground pork and cut-up firm tofu, and it’s also a high-octane dish thanks to its use of Sichuan peppercorns. It also calls for lots of garlic, ginger, and green onion.

I was out of that really red Chinese chili oil that always ends up on whatever white that I’m wearing. I replaced it with a mix of Chinese chili sauce (not sriracha — this is different stuff), Sichuan pepper flakes, and sesame oil, and it still came out pretty tasty.

Here’s the real deal recipe, if you’re interested.

Categories
It Happened to Me The More You Know...

Cheapass handyman hint of the day: Yea, though I walk through the valley of hex-wrench shelving, I shall fear no assembly…

Photo: Allen key duct taped to a screwdriver, in my hand.

…for I studied physics, and I have duct tape.

Here’s the story: I was assembling a set of shelves for our front hallway, and I was having trouble driving in its screws with the allen key provided. So I duct-taped the allen key to a screwdriver, which provided the necessary torque to finish the job.

Categories
Florida The Current Situation

Disney World’s re-opening ad, but with “Don’t Fear the Reaper” as its soundtrack

Watch this video before Disney issues the takedown notice! It’s the ad for Walt Disney World re-opening, but with the audio track replaced by Blue Oyster Cult’s Don’t Fear the Reaper.

The people who made the video also added some cuts from the film based on Stephen King’s The Stand, but they’re quite unnecessary. The empty Disney World scenes with masked staff are creepy enough, as the stills below will show:

Photo: EPCOT dome, as seen through a nearby triangular window.

Photo: A finger pushing a button labeled “SHOW START” on a control panel labeled “ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM”.

Photo: Close-up of the “SHOW START” button on the “ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM” control panel.

Photo: Woman in surgical mask and Animal Kingdom uniform on a walkie-talkie.

Photo: A hand polishing one of the wristband scanners at the EPCOT entrance.

Photo: The staff of the Enchanted Tiki Room, all in surgical masks, being briefed.

Photo: The giant statue of Woody from “Toy Story” and the sign marking the entrance to Toy Land.

Photo: The cups on the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party ride, all empty.

Photo: Two attendants in surgical masks pushing open the gates to the “Be Our Guest” restaurant.

Photo: The attendants of the πBe Our Guest” restaurant, all in surgical masks, standing in formation at the entrance.

Photo: The entrance to the Magic Kingdom park, with the Walt Disney and Mickey statue in the foreground, overlaid with the text: “Walt Disney World / Come stand with us”.

Categories
Internet Finds The Current Situation

The official Little Golden Book of 2020

Book cover: Parody “Little Golden Book” titled “The Humans are Dead / We are the Humans Now”. Cover shows a cat sweeping the floor, a dog cooking, and a rabbit drying dishes.
Thanks to David Newman for the find!
Categories
Internet Finds

So it’s come to this: Hot dog rice krispies treats with ketchup, mustard, and relish

Photo: Rice krispies treats, but with cut-up hot dog embedded in them, and slathers with ketchup, mustard, and relish.
Tap the photo to see it at full size.

Sick and tired of your sourdough starter? Looking for your next culinary challenge? Here it is.

These are a creation of The Vulgar Chef. I’ll admit it; I’m intrigued.

Categories
The Current Situation

You *do* know that there’s a reason he’s on his THIRD wife, don’t you, ma’am?

Reporter Andrew Kimmel interviewed a Trump supporter, asking an important question: What’s the line that he would have to cross in order to lose her support? Her answer: “Commit adultery on his beautiful, classy wife.”

Fact check: That fling with Stormy Daniels happened in 2006. Trump was a lot younger then — a mere lad at the age of (checks notes) 60.

There’s more of this interview on Twitter, and it’s a fascinating look into Trumpthink.

Categories
Internet Finds The Current Situation

The character screen for “Dead or Alive: MAGA”

Photo: 4 columns, 4 white women — 1. Haley, 0 - 18, “If you say n*gga, why can’t I?” / 2. Becky, 19 - 34. “All lives matter!” / 3. Karen, 35 - 49, “I’m calling the cops!” / 4. Susan, 50 - 64, “Go back to your country!”
Choose your fighter!

In case you’re not familiar with the Dead or Alive franchise, here’s a look at one of the more recent games:

[ Thanks to Ramon Grajo for the find! ]