Maybe the Queen’s will said “In the event of my death, the corgis should go to the groomer” and they misinterpreted the request.
Can we please make this the official logo for cryptocurrencies? And while we’re at it, American healthcare?
(Cough, cough)Ron DeSantis(Cough)
If you’re really a “Little Mermaid purist,” you should insist on the original way-more-gruesome version. Remember, it was written by Hans Christian Andersen, who was not only a nightmare writer, but also a nightmare houseguest.
Brett Favre is guilty of at least two heinous crimes:
- Mispronouncing his own damn last name (it’s of French origin, and really should be pronounced “Fav-RAY” and not “barf, but starting with the letter f”), and
- Redirecting welfare funds that should have gone to Mississippi’s poor to build a volleyball stadium.
Maybe it’s just unfortunately sign placement, but you might think twice before getting the beef jerky.
A guy once tried to fight me after I said that The Star-Spangled Banner is in 3/4 time (possibly because he thought all 3/4 songs are waltzes, and he believed that waltzes are wimpy).
But it is in 3/4 time. You could either just listen to the song and count, or you could consult the sheet music.
Once again, an important public service message:
A reminder for those of you who believe there’s a “War on Christmas” and who were upset about Pride Month earlier this summer.
As the gas prices continue to drop, I’m posting this as a reminder to you dolts who posted or bought into the Biden “I did that!” stickers we saw on gas pumps all summer.
Also:
Seriously, are you even good enough to qualify for impostor syndrome?
Whoever wrote this doesn’t believe in the God-given right for every American to have a gun and diabetes. “The beeping actually helps — it’ll cover the sound of me reloading!”
“Hey, it’s a 9-millimeter gun! That’s metric! See? I USE THE METRIC SYSTEM!!!”
Listen to this doctor…
…and not this one:
At last, the reason I went into tech instead of medicine like the rest of my family.
Once upon I time, I used to associate an American flag on your social media profile as meaning “having a can-do attitude.”
These days, it’s more often than not that it means this instead:
It’s an iron-clad law of humor that the butt is always funny:
It would appear that way.
As a super-social guy, the incessant “I hate going outside and dealing with people” posts drive me crazy, but this one at least made me chuckle:
And finally, let me leave you with this blessing:
