"Please stop hitting me! I'm on drugs!" - The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century

"Please stop hitting me! I’m on drugs!"

The moral for a man who broke into a Newmarket [a town just north of Accordion City]

home just after midnight yesterday: Don’t underestimate an older couple

with an attitude and a few good kitchen implements on hand.

A good thing for the intruder that Gladys, 59, didn’t find her rolling

pin. If she had, he might have had a few more bruises to add to those

he got being shoved down the stairs and pummelled by Gladys’ husband

Clifford, 66, and then struck repeatedly in the back by Gladys wielding

her metal tea kettle.

Here’s my favourite line:

“He kept yelling at me to stop hitting him because he was on drugs. But I told him I wasn’t finished with him yet.”

Charged with break and enter, possession of stolen property under

$5,000, assault

causing bodily harm, theft under $5,000 and possession of break and

enter tools is one Douglas Halversen, 28, of Newmarket. He also will

have to live with the shame of (allegedly) robbing a senior citizen and

being beaten up by one and his wife.

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