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Outsourcing Your Scrapbook and Your Duty as an Aphid of the Industrial Age

Sign of the times: Here’s a piece that appeared recently in the Arts and Life section of the National Post:

According to scrapbooking business maven Sue DiFranco, there are big

bucks to be made assembling scrapbooks for busy, stupid rich people.

Well,

she doesn’t exactly put it that way, but on her Fun Facts Publishing

Web site she explains that you can earn between $50 and $150 an hour

scrapbooking, with virtually no set-up cost. Some people, she says,

prefer to “hire out” their scrapbooking, much like they would pay

professional organizers or house cleaners, rather than learn how to do

it themselves.

If you’re wondering why anyone would need a

professional to assemble a scrapbook, it’s time you woke up and smelled

the rubber paste.

In middle-class homes, scrapbooks are the new

measure of domestic adequacy. If you just stick your photos in

chronological order in magnetic albums, well you might as well be

leaving your children down at the laundromat while gambling away your

afternoons. Any responsible mother wanting to hold her head high at the

PTA should be spending at least $50 a month (some people spend $50 a

day) and her spare hours (between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m.) documenting,

cropping, matting, embellishing, hole-punching and stamping little

doodads all over the family scrapbook.

People who don’t have the time, money or “talent” to

scrapbook are hiring others to do it for them — for thousands of

dollars. Even if you’re talentless they’ll hire you, according to

DiFranco. She advises, “Don’t question your own ‘scraptistic ability.’

Most clients actually prefer the look of simple layouts. And because

they’re not scrapbookers themselves, they won’t be comparing your work

to anyone else’s.”

What an ideal client base.


There’s no way that someone else, given a shoebox of your 

photos, clippings and other mementoes, could possibly create a

scrapbook that would capture their meaning — at least not without

consulting with you extensively. Would a scrapbooker possibly know that

the pack of matches from Ben’s Smoked Meat in Montreal means infinitely

more to me than the photo of me and the then-girlfriend at Lollapalooza

’95? That the grey dog was my first pet and the black dog belonged to a

girlfriend? Or that the mini-bar bill from the no-longer-existent

Holiday Inn behind New City Hall goes with the letters from the sisters

I was dating, each without the other’s knowledge?

(Hey, I was 19, and if you thought you could get away with it, you’d do it too.)

A scrapbook put

together by someone else might be nicely arranged, but it would be

bereft of rhyme or reason, free of nuance or meaning. It would merely

be a vanity coffee table book, a sort of trophy whose raison d’etre

would be so that you could brag that you had one.


“What an ideal client base” is what the RIAA, MPAA or Bill Gates

would say after reading the National Post article. These guys prefer to think of you as consumers rather than customers. The distinction, as Doc Searls often likes to point out, is an important one. He says

that as a consumer, vendors see you as an “aphid of the industrial

age”; a creature whose primary role in the scheme of things is to “gulp

products and crap cash”.

Any creative activity — and yes, scrapbooking falls into this category

— is the sort of thing that they wouldn’t like. If you’re creating,

you’re likely not consuming, and hence you’re not  perfoming your

designated function: crapping cash. That’s why they think you’ve only licensed and don’t really own the music and movies you bought. It’s also why they’d like set limits on what your computers can do. It’s also why you and your SMS messages are to blame for the box-office failure of their crappy movies rather than say, the movie being crappy. And finally, it’s also why they want to lock pieces of your own culture away from you and keep it for themselves.

The saddest thing is that people are beginning to buy into their

consumer aphid role, and it starts with outsourcing your scrapbook.

2 replies on “Outsourcing Your Scrapbook and Your Duty as an Aphid of the Industrial Age”

Maybe that explains that jasc scrapbook program or add-on that they keep emailing (spamming) me about, to create a digital scrapbook. Cute little templates to organize your pics.

Your comparison to an impersonal coffee-table book is pretty much right on, but then… these are the same people paying many thousands and thousands of dollars to interior decorators to make sure their very living spaces don’t show a shred of their own personality or creativity.

Never mind the purpose… just make it look good.

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