I’m Over It, But Google Still Isn’t

As you type your name into a Google search box, what suggestions do you get? Here’s what happens when you type in mine:

That’s probably a result of my posts on That Particular Situation, listed below in the proper chronological order for the first time:

• Closing Time: Yes, as in the pop song by Semisonic. It’s the story of a weird dream I had, and it’s one in which I drop a hint or two. A tale of unexpected situations, Mariachi bands, pressure and the low-cut uniforms the waitresses at Swiss Chalet used to wear.
• The Great Reset: I tell everyone what happened, and what my plans are.
• My Hospital Week: A week after she moved out, I ended up nearly dead in the ICU. This one’s got an appearance on a kids’ TV channel, life-or-death fumbling in a darkened emergency room, poop, and a sponge bath scene with a cute nurse. Seriously, why aren’t you reading this right now?
• Like Me, Just More So: How that week in the ICU ended up affecting me.
• Consolation Fries (or: The Non-Date That Went Tragicomically Wrong): My first post-separation dating story. How’d it go? Let’s just say that it’s a good idea to get the bad date — or in this case, non-date — out of the way nice and early.
• My Invitation to Become a Pickup Artist: My introduction to The Game. Not really my thing.
• Half-a-Versary: Six months later.
• On the Anniversary of My Not Dying: A year after the hospital week.
• A Month of Travel, A Year of Adventure: The one-year review.
• My Divorce Sense is Tingling (or: “Okay, Malcolm Gladwell, You Win.”): When your marriage ends, you become more attuned to breakups in an eerie, Jedi-like way. You can look at a person and say “The divorce is strong in this one.”

I’m all right with Google showing “joey devilla divorce” as one of its top suggestions, but maybe it’s time to mix it up a little. I’d like the following to be one of the top suggestions when you type in my name:

If you’d like to help me make this a reality, you can do one simple thing: do a search for “if you die in joey devilla do you die in real life”! Click that link or the screen capture above and help me mix up my search results a little.

In case you don’t get the reference, it’s from this XKCD comic:

(By the way, the top result for “if you die in joey devilla do you die in real life” is an article in Guyism on what your drink order says about you. It features a photo I took in Seattle.)