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It Happened to Me

Six Months Later…

I just realized that yesterday was the six-month anniversary of The Adventures of AccordionGuy in the 21st Century. I’d like to thank all of you for your readership and kind words; I hope you’ve had as much fun reading it as I have writing it (and, where applicable, living it). I’d also like to thank all of you who recommended this blog, especially Will McLean for telling everyone he knows in Toronto — which makes up most of the city — and Cory Doctorow, whose influence and reach is rivalled only by that of Chancellor Palpatine.

This blog owes its existence to twerpish management at the company for which I used to work. The management had reduced the company to a skeleton crew — I was the only programmer remaining in the Toronto office — and installed new people in charge. The New VP R&D hand-picked a team of corporate cubicle drones to be his new programmers and as their numbers swelled, my role as UI Programmer diminished from oversseing the entire design to working on the “About” box and correcting the most minor of bugs. I was being paid to spend a good chunk of my day twiddling my thumbs. Out of boredom, I hit the Blogger site and created this blog.

2001 was full of big plans scuttled, career disasters and heartbreak; I found myself dumped, re-relocated from San Francsico back to Toronto after a mere four months, working for a company teetering on the verge of collapse, seeing most of my co-workers get laid off and watching the best job I’d ever had get whittled away by a self-serving, self-aggrandizing assholearchy. I wasted an hour and a half each day in a mind-numbing commute. I was put on the programming equivalent of chalkboard eraser-cleaning duty. I had more shouting matches with friends in six months that I had in the previous six years. The girl who’d dumped me moved back in with the postman I’d stolen her away from fair and square, and after September 11th, they got “terror engaged” (Fuck you, Osama, now it’s personal). If there was an upside to all these events, it’s that it gave me the fire to keep writing. While I rarely wrote about how far down to Hell things at gone (and in at least one case, I did it very elliptically), the act of writing, no matter how impersonal the topic, was cathartic.

As the days passed and the archives grew, I took the time to read what I’d written. I read some of the entries and think “well, that was an off day”, while I’d read others and swear that the writing was too good to have come from me. Good or bad, the act of reading my own writing gave me a chance to step back and look at myself from a more detached perspective. It became clear to me just how bad my current situation was; it should’ve been obvious, but I was too busy keeping my head down and trying to pay the rent. I would’ve figured it out eventually, but thanks to this blog, I did it that much sooner.

Maybe it’s one of those Heisenbergian “the presence of an observer at an event changes the event” kind of things, or maybe it’s just coincidence, but soon after I started writing the blog (and reading it, as it gained more entries), things changed for the better. Getting fired is normally a very unhappy event, but in my case, it felt as if I’d been paroled. It certainly looks that way, judging from the differences in my writing before and after I got sacked. The really fun stuff in The Adventures of AccordionGuy in the 21st Century — the true adventures — started happening after that day. My examined life felt more and more worthy of living, starting with a Saturday night and expanding into new musical collaborations, travelling to San Francsico to experience CodeCon, the Lusty Lady and the Stagette, making a wealth of new friends, and various other adventures. While I was pulling down a much larger paycheque six months ago than I am now, I much prefer my present condition and the future hasn’t looked this bright in quite some time.

As I type this entry into my computer, I am also packing for another trip down to the Bay Area for another conference that I’m looking forward to. I’m in the process of starting my own consultancy, and the clients are coming in with little effort on my part. There’s one client in particular that’s working on a project that’s a lot of fun, and the story of how I landed that client — I’ve only told that story in a very cryptic way, but let’s just say there was a girl and an accordion involved — is quite funny. I’m back in a great city, well-established as a Queen Street fixture, reunited with old friends and making a lot of new ones.

I’m exactly where I want to be, and part of the credit has to go to this blog.

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(In The Happiest Geek on Earth):

Damn, it feels good to be a geeksta. Visual Studio Magazine’s latest salary survey.

Read it here.

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Is there one that makes you taste like chicken?

Sweet Release is a new product that…oh, you’re not going to believe me. See for yourself.

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(In The Happiest Geek on Earth):

End-of-week grab bag. Little bits of news about programming, what I’m up to programming-wise, and the O’Reilly Emerging Technologies conference.

Read it here.

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Oy! / Aiyahh! New mags to read!

Jews and Asians have some similarities:

  • We were the kids cleaning up in math and science class
  • We have a strong showing in the computer world
  • Strong family ties
  • Our mothers tend to be overbearing
  • Some tendencies towrds clannishness
  • Strong pressure from the parentals to get a university degree
  • Thick black hair requiring the strongest gel
  • Cosmetic surgery (Jews: nose jobs, Asians: eye jobs)
  • A love of Chinese food
  • Hiring Filipino domestic help
  • Run-ins with the original Axis of evil (Jews: Hitler, Asians: Hirohito, who got off too easy)
  • Signature cars (Jews: VW rabbit/Jeep YJ, Asians: Honda CR-V, Honda Civic)
  • And dammit, we own New York, baby!

But there are two glaring differences: We Asians eat pork, and we’ve got a too-cool-for-school don’t-you-wish-you-were-us magazine: Giant Robot.

My pal Cory Doctorow compensates by eating pork (and in the most incorrect way possible — he orders his veggie burgers with bacon and cheese) and reading Giant Robot.

He — like anyone, Asian or not — is still welcome to read Giant Robot, but now there’s Heeb, the urban Jewish hipster mag. I’ve seen it on the shelves in Toronto, but can’t remember where. Congratulations to all my Jewish hipster homies on getting some reading material. Cory, when are you gonna start submitting stuff to them?

As for Canadian Asians, there’s also something new on the magazine racks for us — Banana. In the interest of fairness, I’ll post some cheesecake from the magazine’s site:

To my Jewish homies, I propose a cultural exchange. I’ll trade you guys Mu Shu Pork for Nigella Lawson. Sound fair?

Special shout out to my Hebrew homeboy Cory D. for pointing out Heeb.

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Kampin’

Ted Nugent, rock star-turned-bowhunter, has a summer camp called Ted Nugent’s Kamp for Kids. Asides from the fact that you’re trusting your kids to The Nuge, Bill Barol also rightly observes that the name of the camp is too reminiscent of the terrible Kamp Krusty.

For those of you who are into bowhunting, you might want to try the “Shoot/Don’t Shoot” test, where you’re presented with views of 12 deer and are asked whether it’s a good short or not.

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(In The Happiest Geek on Earth):

If you ignore these important words from our sponsor, you’re a goddamned thief!

Read it here.