Category: funny

Leonidas’ catch-phrase from 300, “Tonight we dine in Hell!” belongs up there with other classic lines from swords-and-sandals epics such as Gladiator’s “At my signal, unleash Hell!” or this gem from Conan the Bararian:

Mongol General: What is best in life?

Conan: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

I will never tire of that one.

Back to 300: the movie lends itself well to Photoshoppery and lampooning, as this selection of images (taken mostly from this collection) shows…

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To get this joke, you need to have seen the 1976 movie Network:

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Of all the photos, this one — which mixes the 300 meme with the funny-pictures-of-cats meme — was the one that made me laugh out loud:

Courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

E-ZPass is an electronic highway toll collection system that’s used in the northeastern United States, including Wendy’s home town of Boston. With an E-ZPass transponder in your car, you don’t have to bring you car to a stop and fumble for change to pay your toll; you simply slow down enough to safely pass the toll gate, where a sensor scans your transponder and makes the appropriate debit to your account.

If you’ve ever seen two people pursue the last cookie on the plate, the last seat on the train or the last available-looking single at the bar, you know what kind of disastrous hilarity can result. Here’s what happens when two determined E-ZPass users in a hurry race to the be the first through an E-ZPass-equipped toll gate, with mercy neither asked for nor given:

“Don’t worry, dude, that’ll buff right right out…”

Here’s a look from the other side:

“If I weren’t trapped in my car, I would totally kick your ass.”

Can anyone tell — perhaps from the license plate colour scheme and surrounding buildings — where this is? The license plates look like New York ones, but if the drivers truly were from that area (or perhaps “Joisey”), they’d have rolled down their windows and started a shouting or pummeling match.

[Photos courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele]

Not only do people have to be told not to sit on crocodiles, they also need to be told not to feed or molest alligators:

Photo courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele.

C’mon, what kind of freak would even think of molesting an animal?

Oh yeah. Forgot about him.

It does look like Dick “Don’t call me the Vice President!” Cheney is relieving himself on a bush (now there’s a line for your next slash-fiction writing assignment) in this photo, doesn’t it?

Click the photo to see it at full size.

The latest Dirtfarm comic takes a look at what you could’ve done with the hour you “lost” thanks to daylight saving time…

Click the comic to see it at full size and on its original page.