Category: funny

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funny Internet Finds The Current Situation The More You Know...

Your math might be a little off, dude…

Tweet by @murvfx: “Elon Musk spent $44 Billion on Twitter. The World's population is 8 billion. He could have given each person $5 billion and still have money leftover. I feel like a cheque for $5 billion would be life changing for most people. Yet he wasted it all on Twitter.”
Tap to view the original tweet. I screen-captured this because (1.) It’s so embarrassing — if it were me, I’d delete it, and (2.) there are better-than-even odds that Twitter might experience outages soon.

Twitter user @muravfx posted this:

Your “math sense” should be tingling at this nonsense. Here is some literal “back of the napkin” math I did to see how much everyone on Earth would get you evenly split $44 billion among them:

5.5. As is $5.50 — five dollars and fifty cents. Not 5 billion.

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funny

New word of the day

Thanks to Norbert Cartagena for the find!

All we need is a group called “Insane Galt Posse” to record a rap with these lyrics: “Fucking sharing, how does it work?”

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Florida of the Day funny The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian follies, part 6: It’s a fair question

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Florida funny The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian follies, part 5: A cat person has entered the discussion

Facebook comment: “For those with septic tanks that overflow in storms (I don’t know how common that is in South FL, but anyhoo), some cat litter in a Rubbermaid tote makes a pretty good emergency toilet.”
Tap to view the cat person’s suggestion at full size.

I get the feeling that some cat people entertain fantasies about being able to “go” in a box, just like their beloved fur children.

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Florida funny Tampa Bay The Current Situation

Hurricane Ian follies, part 4: We’re still a long way from the “improvise your own toilet” stage

Here’s an amusing discussion on Facebook about makeshift toilets that you can improvise if Hurricane Ian disrupts the water system:

Screen capture of an amusing Facebook discussion about ideas for makeshift toilets.
Tap to view the makeshift toilet discussion at full size.

Here’s a close-up of that “pool noodle on a 5-gallon bucket” toilet. It’s impressive and a little disturbing at the same time:

Here’s another suggestion to use a paint bucket that paints a slightly darker picture:

I don’t know about you, but I’ve filled our giant wheeled trash and recycling bins with water (and a little bleach) that we can use to flush our toilets. If that fails, I’m going to make like the neighborhood cats and just poop in the yard.

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funny The Current Situation

Pictures aplenty for Sunday, September 18, 2022

Maybe the Queen’s will said “In the event of my death, the corgis should go to the groomer” and they misinterpreted the request.

Can we please make this the official logo for cryptocurrencies? And while we’re at it, American healthcare?

(Cough, cough)Ron DeSantis(Cough)

If you’re really a “Little Mermaid purist,” you should insist on the original way-more-gruesome version. Remember, it was written by Hans Christian Andersen, who was not only a nightmare writer, but also a nightmare houseguest.

Brett Favre is guilty of at least two heinous crimes:

Maybe it’s just unfortunately sign placement, but you might think twice before getting the beef jerky.

A guy once tried to fight me after I said that The Star-Spangled Banner is in 3/4 time (possibly because he thought all 3/4 songs are waltzes, and he believed that waltzes are wimpy).

But it is in 3/4 time. You could either just listen to the song and count, or you could consult the sheet music.

Once again, an important public service message:

A reminder for those of you who believe there’s a “War on Christmas” and who were upset about Pride Month earlier this summer.

As the gas prices continue to drop, I’m posting this as a reminder to you dolts who posted or bought into the Biden “I did that!” stickers we saw on gas pumps all summer.

Also:

Seriously, are you even good enough to qualify for impostor syndrome?

Whoever wrote this doesn’t believe in the God-given right for every American to have a gun and diabetes. “The beeping actually helps — it’ll cover the sound of me reloading!”

“Hey, it’s a 9-millimeter gun! That’s metric! See? I USE THE METRIC SYSTEM!!!”

Listen to this doctor…

…and not this one:

At last, the reason I went into tech instead of medicine like the rest of my family.

Once upon I time, I used to associate an American flag on your social media profile as meaning “having a can-do attitude.”

These days, it’s more often than not that it means this instead:

It’s an iron-clad law of humor that the butt is always funny:

It would appear that way.

As a super-social guy, the incessant “I hate going outside and dealing with people” posts drive me crazy, but this one at least made me chuckle:

And finally, let me leave you with this blessing:

 

Categories
funny Stranger than Fiction

A lot of TED talks are just like this

Comic: Dog giving a TED talk as a photo of a tail is projected behind him. The dog says “What if I told you that the thing you’ve been chasing your whole life...has been part of you all along?”