Category: In the News

If you remember Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from the Mary Poppins movie and if you’ve heard of the Pastor Ted scandal, you’ll love Supertelevangelistic Sex-and-Drugs Psychosis!

The song is performed by Spaff, and you can download it here [1.8 MB].

Here are the lyrics — feel free to sing along!

I used to be a master of the anti-gay crusade

Until a butch disaster blew my pastor masquerade

But if it’s true I’m pounding more than pulpits, don’t blame me

It’s ’cause I caught my hooker-tweaker-stud’s infirmity

It’s

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Worse than plague and bird flu crossed with osteoporosis

We were playing doctor and he gave this diagnosis:

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

I found the perfect therapist – the kind that gives massage

I like to drive my Escort and I park in his garage

I swear he only serves me crank when all his Coke is gone

And then he helps me straighten out my Peter, James, and John

Blame

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

That’s my greatest guilty pleasure next to Guns N’ Roses

Good thing there’s no ban on it in all the books of Moses

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

Umm Haggard Bakker Swaggart umm Tammy Faye

It seems all pious public figures bugger on the sly

But Jesus loved republicans and sinners; so must I

Say “Holy moley, Mister Foley! That boy’s underage!”

But I believe the congressman has turned another page

Oh!

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis

Next time, better cut me off at handshakes and Mimosas

No more meth or men for me – at least in overdoses!

Supertelevangelistic sex-and-drugs psychosis!

(Just a spoonful of crystal helps the prostitute go down…)

Thanks to Making Light for the link.

Here’s a still from the video of Rick Santorum’s concession speech in which his son fails the Kobayashi Maru Test:

Click to see the original. Thanks to Richard for pointing me to the photo!

As Wonkette puts it in a post titled Rick Santorum’s Two Dozen Kids Hate You:

There are so, so many things to love about this picture. Well, three things: Rick Santorum conceding, a little girl crying, and an awkward pre-teen flipping off the nation. We declare this the official screenshot of the 2006 midterm congressional elections.

The best comment on last night’s U.S. midterm elections comes from Jonah Goldberg of the National Review:

I for one welcome our new Democratic overlords. I’d like to remind them that as a trusted rightwing personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

As for the best photo from last night’s elections, it’s of Reprehensible Rick Santorum and family at his concession speech. He clearly forgot to give the wife and kids the “let’s all keep a stiff upper lip” talk:

It’s a day late, but here’s an amusing Hallowe’en comic courtesy of Miss Fipi Lele:

In torture-related news, Dilbert creator Scott Adams — whose opinion matters among the educated, rationalist, leaning-towards-libertarian crowd (geeks, technologists and such) — has shifted slightly in his opinion on torture, from “pro” to “undecided”:

The media have trotted out expert after expert to say that regular non-torture interrogation is MORE effective than torture. I discounted those experts as selectively chosen by the liberal media. One thing that all of the experts seemed to have in common is that none of them had USED torture. So how would they know torture was worse than the alternative?

But much time has passed since this debate began. You’d think that the proponents of torture (cough, cough, Fox New, cough) would have produced one credible torturer to say, “Torture works great! I get all of my information in minutes and I’m home to help the kids with homework by five!”

Or perhaps the media could find one torture victim who would say, “I wasn’t going to tell them anything until they started water-boarding me. Man, that stuff works!”

Now granted, it might be hard to find someone to confess to being a torturer. And it might be even harder to find someone who was tortured who is willing to endorse it. But it seems to me that with all the torturing going on, you could at least find a friend of a friend who saw it work. Or the American government could find some CIA operative who is willing to be filmed in silhouette with his voice garbled saying he’s seen torture produces excellent results.

But nothing? For years?

Move me to the skeptical column. The burden is on the proponents of torture to produce some proof that it works. I still don’t rule out the possibility that torture can be effective, but if it’s being done in my name, I want some fucking evidence.